[NF] INFs -- Chit-Chat from the Checkout?

[Tiltyred]

I'm curious to know how many of us are driven crazy by chit-chat from the person at the register when you go to pay for your items at a store. They all seem to have a canned speech now, that goes pretty much, "Do you have a membership card? Do you want one? Would you like to sign up for a credit card? You'd get 10 percent off ... Would you like to buy a hand lotion? (or whatever else impulse stuff is sitting on the counter)" Honest to God, I just want to tear my hair out. I want to pay and get out of there, is all I want.

But even when it's like yesterday, "How are you?" "Fine, thanks?" "Ready for the New Year?" "uh-huh" "Are you going out?" "uh-huh" etc etc.

WHY CAN'T THEY JUST LEAVE US ALONE?!?!?!?

 

[WieldingTheSword]

I'm not an INF, but I definitely get irritated by meaningless things like that, especially when I engage in them! I liken it to sending Christmas cards: you really don't care if you get one, and the other person doesn't really care if he/she gets one, yet both of you will end up sending them anyway to save face and keep peace.

 

[proteanmix]

Well I know when I worked in retail I HAD to say those things as part of the job. Sometimes my manager would be standing behind making sure I said it. And sometimes people did come often enough into the store where asking if they'd like a member card or whatnot would be beneficial.

It's just chitchat, I don't know what else to say about it. Sometimes I think asking 'how are you?' is the most dangerous phrase in English. Are you just venting? Usually smiling politely and adverting your eyes quells most small conversations like this.

 

[disregard]

They have to say that membership card speech or else they'll get fired.

It's work. They're not there to make you enjoy yourself. They're there to make money for their company.

 

[Kyrielle]

Yeah, it's annoying, but I had to say it when I worked in a store. Of course I hated having to chit-chat because I knew it was annoying to most people. However, sometimes I feel irritated if it isn't there at the checkout, and it makes me wonder how well run the rest of the place is (if it's a big store). Maybe because I've been socially trained to expect it and know supervisors are always, in some way, hovering nearby making sure you say the right things.

My solution is to just ignore it and answer most questions with "no" and a non-commital grunt. If I'm in a really peppy mood or the cashier sounds kinda down, I'll answer properly and with a certain amount of enthusiasm.

 

[JivinJeffJones]

I currently live in a remote country town, so checkout chit-chat never seems as artificial as the city version. Plus, the checkout servers favoured by the (2) "supermarkets" here tend to be female aged 16-22, so they tend to quickly deviate from the script into minor flirtation, I've noticed. Well...maybe that's not a deviation from the script at all.

Anyway, even the most obviously scripted chit-chat doesn't annoy me as much now as it did when I was ~20. I tend to see it as an opening through which I can attempt to alleviate the boredom of the server. Or I just answer politely yet monosyllabically if I don't feel much like talking.

 

[grasshoppersings]

try comedy next time to catch them off guard

Howdy, being stand up comedian that doesn't like to feel the pressure of standing up on stage, I do my best comedy routines in the grocery store lines. Try this one next time when the cashier starts into their stupid forced monologue: Have you heard any good jokes lately? Do you like to watch movies? Have you seen that new movie---Constipated?
If they say, No. You can say, Well, I guess it still hasn't come out yet.
If they look at you like they don't get it, you can say, Wow, I wish I was regular. It goes on from there and the theme gets thicker but I wont give away all my jokes unless you really want them. Anywho, catch them off guard with some humor and they just may forget to ask those stupid Buy this with a company card? question to the next customer in line 'cause they are laughing too much or else they are irritated because they do get it. If they do, tell them to try flax seeds, oatmeal, and lots of fiber.

 

[penelope]

Haha. I actually don't mind it that much, as long as I'm not in a bad mood.

 

[Tiltyred]

I wonder why salespeople are forced to say all that stuff. I do realize they have to. That doesn't keep it from annoying me. :-D

The ones who just insist on chit-chatting whether they get monosyllables or no eye contact are the worst.

I should just do all my shopping on the internet.

Waiters drive me nuts with this stuff, too.

So it's just me, huh. *embarrassed*

 

[JivinJeffJones]

Waiters drive me nuts with this stuff, too.

I'd feel differently about American waiters in this regard, suspecting intrusive tip-hunting. Which would infuriate me.

 

[Tiltyred]

I think they're forced to say a lot of what they say, too, unfortunately.

P.S. Grasshoppersings: HAhahahahahaha! Thanks for the material. I just might do it one day.

 

[BerberElla]

Haha. I actually don't mind it that much, as long as I'm not in a bad mood.

Me neither, especially when it appears genuine. Sometimes I leave there feeling that people don't suck so much.

I mean I hear it's quite full on in the states as compared to the UK though.

My friend said she had never seen so many false smiles as when she went shopping in the states.

 

[anii]

Depends on my mood. Sometimes I play along, sometimes I give them the death stare.

 

[Tiltyred]

It's all BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. I can barely stand it. I hate it even from co-workers. "How was your weekend?" I want to say oh, man, leave me alone, will you? but I have to go on with "Oh, it was fine" and then I turn it straight around with "How was yours?" The whole time I feel like it just sucks all the air out of the room to have these exchanges full of nothing.

 

[Kyrielle]

I wonder why salespeople are forced to say all that stuff. I do realize they have to. That doesn't keep it from annoying me. :-D

The ones who just insist on chit-chatting whether they get monosyllables or no eye contact are the worst.

I should just do all my shopping on the internet.

Waiters drive me nuts with this stuff, too.

So it's just me, huh. *embarrassed*

I suspect they must do it because companies have intense competition and politeness and openness to customers can be a deciding factor for some who shop in places. Many times, the more polite and helpful the staff is, the more someone will want to shop there because their day was made just a tiny bit more pleasant. Tell me, would you shop somewhere where the staff gave the impression that they would have better things to do than to assist and serve you? Even if they do have better things to do, actually giving that impression to customers can subtlely turn them away and cause the place to lose money.

I'm sure in other parts of the world where there is something closer to a monopoly on a product, it is very different and politeness isn't going to effect how many customers you have because the customers will have very limited options as to where they can go.

It's all BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. I can barely stand it. I hate it even from co-workers. "How was your weekend?" I want to say oh, man, leave me alone, will you? but I have to go on with "Oh, it was fine" and then I turn it straight around with "How was yours?" The whole time I feel like it just sucks all the air out of the room to have these exchanges full of nothing.

That is something that just can't be stopped. Just go through the motions as people don't usually expect an elaborate answer, unless they know you well. Sometimes they ask because their weekend was boring and they want to know if anything exciting happened that would make a good story. It's just a way for them to acknowledge your presence and try to form some kind of social bond to harmonise the setting. If you think of it in terms of primates and grooming, it's the same concept only translated into verbal communication instead of physical.

 

[Tiltyred]

I see it a little differently. To me, that's not politeness and openness. In the case of the canned script, it's about medium-pressure salesmanship, and dehumanizing for us both. In the case of the demand that I chit-chat, it's being oblivious to the customer's signals. To me, it's rude either way.

I had an idea other introverts might find this irritating. (guess not so much)

What about when they want your phone number and/or email address? You can't get someone to ring your purchases up without their asking for your phone number. (I say it's unlisted, which it is, or if they insist, I say 222. 222. 2222 with a straight face.)

It just feels extremely intrusive to me.

ETA: I just found this, about the phone numbers:
ABC News: Why Do They Want My Phone Number?

 

[Anja]

I just tell them I don't have time for it. Works for me.

The other night getting ready for a holiday meal I had to run out for a few quick things. Everyone was in a lackadaisical holiday spirit and it was difficult to make a quick hit and run with everyone seeming to be watching the clock. That was equally as annoying.

The checkout person had her obviously impatient boyfriend hanging over her shoulder and they carried on a running dialogue all the while she was checking me out. She made a few mistakes with discounts and coupons and became irritated with me for correcting her and taking up her precious time. I got "the look" from her and wondered how much she valued her income.

Too busy to make a complaint to management about attitude and efficiency. And certainly not enough time to construct a piece of feedback to suggest what would work better for both of us. Wrote it off to the holidays.

You can't win - too much of one way or another in this case. Small potatoes.

 

[heart]

I'm curious to know how many of us are driven crazy by chit-chat from the person at the register when you go to pay for your items at a store. They all seem to have a canned speech now, that goes pretty much, "Do you have a membership card? Do you want one? Would you like to sign up for a credit card? You'd get 10 percent off ... Would you like to buy a hand lotion? (or whatever else impulse stuff is sitting on the counter)" Honest to God, I just want to tear my hair out. I want to pay and get out of there, is all I want.

But even when it's like yesterday, "How are you?" "Fine, thanks?" "Ready for the New Year?" "uh-huh" "Are you going out?" "uh-huh" etc etc.

WHY CAN'T THEY JUST LEAVE US ALONE?!?!?!?

Yes, I hate it. Especially if tired, I am usually overwhelmed and just want to get what has to be done, done and get the hell out of there...but realize too that these people are probably told they must say certain things to customers or they will get a bad report on their periodic evaluations. They may not be as pushy and overbubbly as they appear and may actually loathe the whole bit as much as customers might as well.

I used to work customer service in high school and college and we were told we had to speak certain phrases at certain times to each customer and to SMILE! (Grin like idiot)

I really hated the suggestive selling but if the manager was around and one didn't do it, then got called on the carpet plus the district office sent out "secret shoppers" who would also file reports on what was said and how and if the script wasn't being followed then no pay raise next time.

It's all BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. I can barely stand it. I hate it even from co-workers. "How was your weekend?" I want to say oh, man, leave me alone, will you? but I have to go on with "Oh, it was fine" and then I turn it straight around with "How was yours?" The whole time I feel like it just sucks all the air out of the room to have these exchanges full of nothing.

Yes, that's always stressful to me as well.

That is something that just can't be stopped. Just go through the motions as people don't usually expect an elaborate answer, unless they know you well. Sometimes they ask because their weekend was boring and they want to know if anything exciting happened that would make a good story. It's just a way for them to acknowledge your presence and try to form some kind of social bond to harmonise the setting. If you think of it in terms of primates and grooming, it's the same concept only translated into verbal communication instead of physical.

First off, we aren't monkeys. Why do I say this? Toliet paper.


Second, I've worked with people who weren't happy with simple answers and who would start giving me a hard time about not having party animal stories to tell on Mondays or who wanted to give me grief because I wasn't withchild yet or whatever. Mindless, invasive chit-chat can be very enervating.

 

[Sniffles]

I hate idle chit chat. Especially when I know other people are waiting behind me. Of course that's assuming I want to chit chat to begin with. Almost all the time I just want to get my stuff and get out as soon as possible.

 

[iwakar]

To OP

My perspective is oppositional to yours, though not my sentiment.

I'm in retail management. And just as I was required to do those very same things during the checkout process, so are my staff. There is a "line" of course. The goal is for our staff to be politely engaging while boosting item sales per transaction, NOT to be intrusive. I've had to talk to more than one employee before who was overzealous in their prattle and either routinely held up the line (this LOSES us money) or offends the customer (this LOSES us money).

However, doing this job as well as being a consumer gives me the unique perspective of both sides of the counter --not to mention being an INFJ in an ESTP customer-service oriented industry. But, as many INFJs seem determined to do, I try to understand both perspectives and employ the happy medium. I keep my questions/remarks succinct when helping check out customers, and when I am the customer, I allow the cashier to do their job and respond with the appropriate, polite remarks.

Though I've had to systematically train myself against my natural response, I always meet the cashier's/customer's eyes, greet them, and ask how they are in return. It is important to me that I treat people as courteously as I wish to be treated if I were in their shoes.