[MBTI General] Idealist Thoughts on INTP Romance

[Lady_X]

so funny pink!! but i love all the lil funny intp people on here!! and they totally don't seem like robots...yet....do you have to date one to see that? or what?

 

[Domino]

You're right -- Maybe the dynamic was different. Hadn't thought of that, because we're both blunt people generally.

I know the INTP-INTP attraction is a very common and valid one, so I was just curious as to the dynamic energies involved. I could imagine two INTPs speaking to each other in identical manners (though the male/female energies certainly change things as well). Why didn't it work out (if you don't mind me asking)?

Interestingly the ex with the least initiative was an NF.

Oh man, try lighting a fire under an INFJ that's determined not to move. It's possibly the most aggravating thing you can imagine.

He was the least passive aggressive person on the planet. Was I? In comparison to him, maybe. But anyone would be. I loved it. others? not so much.

Sorry to make you extrapolate further, but could you tell me what the bolded part means? I just want to be clear.

edit: I'm not so sure I just got a good one - from what I've observed getting a relationship started is the problem. We can be quite intense romantics once we're over that hump. Provided we're not of the complete retard school of INTP.

I met one INTP who was adorable, and we were frighteningly attracted to each other. Problem - he was already married. See?! *shakes head* Ah well.

 

[mbeerti]

I seriously don't know any INTPs (or at least if I do, it's on a purely acquaintance/associate basis), let alone have dated one (I interpreted the question as one about romantic attraction). So yeah, I can only give you the "self-" likes and dislikes/what makes me attractive (or not).

Likes about my own INTPness:
Smart
Confident
Secure
Values autonomy/independence
Loyal
*Witty
Hot as HELL
Modest
Skilled/Talented in multiple areas/fields

*some say.


Dislikes:
Values autonomy/independence
Can be emotionally inaccessible
Critical
Likes things done "a certain way"
Harsh on those who show their ignorance
Has a hard time finishing one task (jumps about)

 

[Domino]

I find MBeerti's modesty quite hot. How hot? Hot as hell.

 

[Spartacuss]

I know the INTP-INTP attraction is a very common and valid one, so I was just curious as to the dynamic energies involved. I could imagine two INTPs speaking to each other in identical manners (though the male/female energies certainly change things as well). Why didn't it work out (if you don't mind me asking)?

A whole lot of distance and I was too young to base life-altering decisions (career/school) on a relationship and didn't want anyone to (though his hands were pretty much tied).

Oh man, try lighting a fire under an INFJ that's determined not to move. It's possibly the most aggravating thing you can imagine.

How did you guess?! Yes, it was INFJ, and yes it was aggravating. But when they light it up themselves (when you've given up, exasperated) - watch out!

Sorry to make you extrapolate further, but could you tell me what the bolded part means? I just want to be clear.

Anyone would be passive aggressive in comparison to him. While I appreciated his directness, others did not. Many *hated* it.

I met one INTP who was adorable, and we were frighteningly attracted to each other. Problem - he was already married. See?! *shakes head* Ah well.

Yes, INTPs can be quite charming when there is no pressure to impress anyone. Some can be excellent flirts ... unless they have a crush on you. Efficient, you see.

 

[g_vartan]

so funny pink!! but i love all the lil funny intp people on here!! and they totally don't seem like robots...yet....do you have to date one to see that? or what?

The ones here tend to be of the Wall-E and Johnny 5 variety than the Terminator types

But kidding aside, the Internet is the perfect medium for INTPs to communicate as it renders things explicit - a communication form that removes a lot of the non-verbal "nuinances" that some INTPs struggle with. My INTP said/wrote (almost) all the right things via IM/email/etc...F2F, not so much

I kinda miss the panic stricken reaction I used to get from my INTP ex when he knew the situation required a form of emotional/social reciprocity...he really tries but usually gets overwhelmed and freezes up. I guess another lesson I learned from that relationship is that you really need to be a patient, strong, and mature person to hold such a relationship together (i.e., guide a rather inexperienced partner through an adult romantic relationship). It requires a lot of give and take. I think sometimes people expect relationships to come in pretty boxes, all ready to go...but love is complicated and its full of sacrifice and compromise. But maybe that’s the best part.

Anyways, I've got work to do on myself and so does he -- but we both remain hopeful that we'll come across each other further down the road.

 

[chatoyer]

Yeah, where are the robotic INTPs? I don't encounter any in real life! I think they're great, some of my best conversations have been with INTPs.

 

[g_vartan]

And P.S., another appealing quality to an NF-INTP romance:

I love seeing the world through their eyes. It's more vivid and rich with them, than without them - their overanalysis does serve a positive purpose. It's like discovering a whole new world that you never knew existed - the colors are richer, fragrances more intense, and experiences more profound. It's quite intoxicating...sensory overload! And together (in my experience, an ENFJ and INTP), you are "more" - you feel more, you think more.

/ok, I'll quit Fe-ing all over the place. done.

 

[Spartacuss]

It's really an interesting experience to be told by one type how deficient you are at the things they need yet also told by the same type that the combination creates "more". I take a more love 'em OR leave 'em view on things.

 

[Jack Flak]

Overanalysis? Get outta here, I analyze just the proper amount.

(I've known plenty of people including INTPs who I'd say do overanalyze, it's such a waste.)

 

[g_vartan]

It's really an interesting experience to be told by one type how deficient you are at the things they need yet also told by the same type that the combination creates "more". I take more a love 'em OR leave 'em view on things.

I respect that. From the "idealistic" side of things, I take more of the view point of love being complicated - full of sacrifice and compromise to a certain degree...yet it could also sometimes be the best part of a relationship. It is through our imperfections that we grow, it is through challenges we learn, and through difficulties that we sometimes bond. Some experiences or people weave burlap into the fabric of our lives, and some weave gold thread but both contribute to make the whole picture beautiful and unique...

/ok, I am really done.

 

[Spartacuss]

fairydust hurts no one. sprinkle away.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

I admire people who are accurate in thought and who develop a cohesive mindset. When someone labeled INTP is a person who thinks clearly and reasonably, then that is a wonderful asset to a romantic relationship. Most of the significant men in my life have been INTPs - my major professor and mentor of 12 years, and my two significant relationships. The quiet, consistent, and reasonable nature is what makes sense to me and calms my anxiety. There is a purity of thought and feeling potentially present in the type that is sacred in my eyes and it should be left as it is, not being required to change, but viewed as a moments relief from a world that makes little sense.

 

[nozflubber]

THIS THREAD MAKES NOZ A SAD PANDA IRL:

 

[Lady_X]

^^^ why?? it's all cuteness!
my favorite was the purity of thought and emotion comment that someone made...awww.

 

[runvardh]

I'm actually extremely touchy feely with my SO. It stems from my inability to express my feelings in any other way.

I may be wierd for an NF, but this is my favored way of expression. I reserve words for the practical stuff.

 

[MacGuffin]

from what I've observed getting a relationship started is the problem. We can be quite silly/intense romantics once we're over that hump... Provided we're not of the complete retard school of INTP.

QFT

 

[kelric]

from what I've observed getting a relationship started is the problem. We can be quite silly/intense romantics once we're over that hump... Provided we're not of the complete retard school of INTP.

QFT

QFT again, 'cause it's hard to overstate.

 

[Domino]

First of all, I'd knock Michael Biehn down and bite him 12 ways to Tuesday. You have to change your avatar, like right now. It's cutting into my innarwebz tyme.

Overanalysis? Get outta here, I analyze just the proper amount.

Stop touching it or it'll fall off. I mean it.

(I've known plenty of people including INTPs who I'd say do overanalyze, it's such a waste.)

Who are these people and can I hi-five them in alphabetical order?

 

[Domino]

QFT

Quince Flaky Tarts
Queenly Finger Towels
Q-Bert Fanatics Take-over
Quiet, Furry Tribbles!
Quo Fuddlydo Two