[NF] Feeling terrible whenever I make a mistake

[mochajava]

I think at some point you have to be in an environment where it is okay to make mistakes. That environment is not school, where you risk the disapproval/ridicule of classmates (might feel worse to an NF than other types?). Or academics, where any mistake is a few points off. Well, that depends on how much your family will lacerate you for those types of mistakes...

What I'm trying to say is that I think many people had an environment where it was OKAY to make mistakes, whether that was Capoiera or a supportive family. Some of us never had that environment in which to exist (I fall into this camp) and maybe that's why it's so hard to make mistakes. I also don't think it will get 'easier' for me to stop excoriating myself for all my mistakes until I take a serious look at this issue... and maybe how my background contributes to it.

Until then, I'll continue to be fairly paranoid and try to be meticulous, no matter how much it goes against my nature. Not to leave this on an unhealthy note -- you are asking a really good question.

 

[Fenekk]

Well, on this topic, I can't say I really feel terrible when I make mistakes, though, I do find myself feeling embarrassed and often reflect on the mistake... way, way too much. Even if I think I may have possibly made a mistake or said something wrong, I find myself reflecting on it a LOT.

I did come from a family that was more or less supportive. My mom was pretty firm when I was younger but I've noticed that now that I am older, she is a lot more supportive of me no matter what it is I do or what she would have thought about it before. I like it... in some ways it feels like she is letting me grow up (and maybe she herself is developing more fully in her MBTI type, which is awesome!)

My dad on the other hand... While he was not downing the alcohol, he was a really great guy, but he always had a very obvious preference for my brother, even though I was the high achiever of the family who was making good grades and in the gifted program and all that... I'm pretty sure my dad has a preference toward Thinking types (and men) and he could tell I was neither of those (well I would hope he could tell the latter, haha!). Later on with our whole family mess and divorce, he has pushed his angry feelings toward my mom on me, so I don't really get any kind of support from him at all. The worse news is that with his alcoholism as bad as it is, my brother isn't getting any either.

But, back on the original topic, I find myself reflecting on it a lot, and maybe I have conditioned myself not to "feel terrible", though I can't seem to stop my worrying over it.