[MBTI General] NFs and Decision Making

[PinkIceTD]

NFs, do you ever find it hard deciding what type of decision to make? What I mean is, is there ever a conflict between what you strongly FEEL you should do and what you THINK you should do (what is most logical/best)? I'm currently in the grip of this inner conflict right now. My head and my heart are telling me very different things and I'm not sure what to do. If you normally have this problem, how do you handle it?

 

[phoenix13]

NFs, do you ever find it hard deciding what type of decision to make? What I mean is, is there ever a conflict between what you strongly FEEL you should do and what you THINK you should do (what is most logical/best)? I'm currently in the grip of this inner conflict right now. My head and my heart are telling me very different things and I'm not sure what to do. If you normally have this problem, how do you handle it?

Very very few decisions are heart vs. head. Your head has to accommodate your heart in its deliberations, because we are not robots. Having said that:

If heart = emotion, then go with your head. When flooded with emotions, even mild ones, you're in an alternate state of consciousness... the decisions you make are temporary/changeable/not solid. Once things calm down, you may come to a very different answer, and that answer will probably be what your head is saying now.

If by "feel" and "heart" you're talking about something deeper, ask yourself what the long term implications of the decision are for your mental health. Does the logical thing to do mean you'll never be fulfilled/happy? Etc.

Personally, I'm zapped with so many emotions all the time, that I have to leave them out of my deliberations entirely to get reasonably close to being reasonable. What a pain...

 

[PinkIceTD]

I guess I said it wrong. I don't really mean emotionally charged feelings. I mean I just feel a very stong inclination to go one way, but I end up second guessing that. It isn't a quick decision, I've been deliberating this for months and I keep coming back to the same fork in the road. Maybe I'm not making sense...
thanks!

 

[phoenix13]

I guess I said it wrong. I don't really mean emotionally charged feelings. I mean I just feel a very stong inclination to go one way, but I end up second guessing that. It isn't a quick decision, I've been deliberating this for months and I keep coming back to the same fork in the road. Maybe I'm not making sense...
thanks!

You mean conviction? Hmmm, perhaps an example would help. Let's say there's a hypothetical friend named SinkTwiceMD who's in a position very similar to yours... what is the decision this friend is facing?

 

[Lady_X]

every waking moment of my life!!

 

[kyuuei]

It seems as if a constant struggle is in place...

But I have come to think that mayhap they work for the same goal. My heart tries to do what's best for myself emotionally, and what will be easiest. My brain goes through what's the most efficient way of doing things. Combining those two makes for a great decision making process, but I admit I get rather TJ when it comes to hard decisions.

I used to let my heart do all my thinking for me. I've very recently resolved that this a terrible way of doing things. It may FEEL right at the time, but it may very well feel wrong later I've discovered. It is my head that allows me to see clearly ahead, while my heart allows me to respond to immediate things. That being the case, I first consult my head at the pro's and con's of every aspect I can think of, mayhap get input of more experienced people, and lay out a plan. Then I consult my heart to find out how to adjust and tweek that plan to soften and round out the edges into something less raw and angled.

In recent situations where I have done this, it has worked out fantastically. I do admit though, sometimes my heart wants to run wild with certain, close to home, situations.

 

[Gauche]

I go for heart...

You know, maybe you mess something up with that decision, but after all, you know you have done the right thing and you had not sold your soul(well that's too patheticaly said).. and you keep your own face and wont play fool for anyone.. And stay yourself.

 

[nomadic]

if its regards to relationships...

if my priorities say i should go with head, then i go with head until my heart can't take it anymore.

if my priorities don't conflict, then i go with heart.

of course, i think a lot of times, guys don't think with either the heart or head... =D

 

[Glycerine]

I usually try to go with my head but many times there seems to be a conflict.

 

[PinkIceTD]

SinkTwiceMD (*giggles*)

OK, so I'm kind of involved with this guy. Basically we have talked about what we want out of a relationship and it's the same thing. The only problem is I want it right now, he does not, he wants it six months to a year from now. Because that's when he says he is able to. (see Understanding Male ISTJ Minds OP) So my options are to wait (because I think it will be worth it. And what's 6 months anyway?), which is what I feel inclined to do. Or to move on, which is what I think I should do(because I don't want to resent him for something he TOLD me flat out.) But the latter seems selfish, or like I'd be making a reactive descision. Am I thinking this because he can't give me what I want right now? Is it pride (because I don't want to seem like I'm hanging around)? However, I also want to be fair to myself.

So that's my jumbled up thought process. Wait or go, and how do I decide? Bottom line, I don't want to leave, I might be passing on an awesome thing. *shrugs*


So, with regards to the original question, Im not sure how to decipher what is the *right* thing to do in a situation like this. I'm probably making something huge out of it...