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[Jungian Cognitive Functions] Teach me how to be a feeler.

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
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The way I understand being a "feeler" is simply that I put effort into thinking how other people are feeling and how they might see the world especially when this differs from my own view. When behavior looks irrational or inexplicable to me, I step back and keep analyzing ways that it could make sense. What kinds of experiences and assumptions would justify saying or doing something. My first reaction is one of "niceness" often, primarily because it is the safest default since there are typically compelling reasons why people act in whatever way they do. This isn't a moral choice, but the one that makes the most sense in the larger context of interacting. Even though I fail at communicating this at times, it is my consistent goal. Taking the time to listen to people is the most direct way to achieve an understanding of a different perspective. Spending time interacting with expressions of people's inner realities like those found in art, music, literature, poetry, etc. is also a way to develop an understanding of the subjective world.
 
T

ThatGirl

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The only way I could describe my thought process is that every circumstance starts at neutral. Each piece of the circumstance is evaluated and given yes a specific value. Feelings will be taken into account only by their cause and effect reactions and those circumstances will be evaluated as well but given no higher priority then other cause and affect senerios. Once each piece has been evaluated the tallys are taken and the solution with the greatest benifit and least consequence overall is chosen. This takes into account an enormous amount of information in regards to where are we now, how did we get there, where is this situation going, and where does it need to be.


And this happens very quickly in my mind.
 

Unique

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Pinks funny.

But yeah, I don't understand being nice for the sake of being nice because I think I view things differently. If you go off treat others as you would have them treat you sort of thing then I think I do that. I just expect people to question things and be very blunt and clear.

What I need to learn to do is pull in the reigns a bit. i understand not everyone thinks like me, but when I try to get more feeler, its stiff and forced, and apparently awkward. Say for exapmle guy I talk to everyday walks up to me at work and says hello. I answered hows it going hows your day. He looked at me weird and walked away. Later when other friend told him about my new leaf, he yelled out, "Is that WTF was wrong with you earlier"


Now another aspect is the fact that I think more feeler people get taken advantage of all the time. I observe it a lot. So it doesnt make sense to embrase such a trait. It makes me really uncomfortable. Ultimatley reluctant. Then a little rebelious.

Its awkward and makes me want to run.

LOL thats exactly what happens to me when I try to be F I end up making it so awkward!
 

nolla

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The only way I could describe my thought process is that every circumstance starts at neutral. Each piece of the circumstance is evaluated and given yes a specific value. Feelings will be taken into account only by their cause and effect reactions and those circumstances will be evaluated as well but given no higher priority then other cause and affect senerios. Once each piece has been evaluated the tallys are taken and the solution with the greatest benifit and least consequence overall is chosen. This takes into account an enormous amount of information in regards to where are we now, how did we get there, where is this situation going, and where does it need to be.


And this happens very quickly in my mind.

So you say you give emotions as much credit as other factors? How do you count this? I mean I have no idea how much value I place on different things in a certain situation... I don't know if I could say that I process enormous amounts of data. Usually things are more simple. If there are terabytes of info going somewhere, I don't see much of it...
 

Orangey

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The way I understand being a "feeler" is simply that I put effort into thinking how other people are feeling and how they might see the world especially when this differs from my own view. When behavior looks irrational or inexplicable to me, I step back and keep analyzing ways that it could make sense. What kinds of experiences and assumptions would justify saying or doing something. My first reaction is one of "niceness" often, primarily because it is the safest default since there are typically compelling reasons why people act in whatever way they do. This isn't a moral choice, but the one that makes the most sense in the larger context of interacting. Even though I fail at communicating this at times, it is my consistent goal. Taking the time to listen to people is the most direct way to achieve an understanding of a different perspective. Spending time interacting with expressions of people's inner realities like those found in art, music, literature, poetry, etc. is also a way to develop an understanding of the subjective world.

According to ajblaise's definition, this is not necessarily "feeling".
 

Nonsensical

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Honestly, I think when it all comes down to loving someone, and loving others, and just being a loving person, that F and T don't even matter..its simple.
 

Orangey

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The only way I could describe my thought process is that every circumstance starts at neutral. Each piece of the circumstance is evaluated and given yes a specific value. Feelings will be taken into account only by their cause and effect reactions and those circumstances will be evaluated as well but given no higher priority then other cause and affect senerios. Once each piece has been evaluated the tallys are taken and the solution with the greatest benifit and least consequence overall is chosen. This takes into account an enormous amount of information in regards to where are we now, how did we get there, where is this situation going, and where does it need to be.


And this happens very quickly in my mind.

Hmmm...this is different for me. I will often have an intuitive notion of what I want to do, or whether something is correct or incorrect (unless I think I don't have enough information to make a judgment), and I will step back to work through the reasons if I have to demonstrate my decision externally, which are brought into conscious relief at a subsequent point to the initial judgment. And yes, these reasons may include feelings as well (or the feelings of others, if the situation calls for it). But the reasons are all there, and a lot of the time I don't consciously behold all of them at once (meaning that they're in the back of my mind, and I may have run through them so quickly that I don't exactly consider them together at the same time, or from some grand overview sort of of position). More like lists that get instantly parsed, and then an output is given. The parsing part is often unconscious. Of course, if I have conflicting pieces of information, these may need further consideration and therefore make their way to the forefront, since they delay the output and require conscious refereeing.
 

nolla

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Hmmm...this is different for me. I will often have an intuitive notion of what I want to do, or whether something is correct or incorrect (unless I think I don't have enough information to make a judgment), and I will step back to work through the reasons if I have to demonstrate my decision externally, which are brought into conscious relief at a subsequent point to the initial judgment. And yes, these reasons may include feelings as well (or the feelings of others, if the situation calls for it). But the reasons are all there, and a lot of the time I don't consciously behold all of them at once (meaning that they're in the back of my mind, and I may have run through them so quickly that I don't exactly consider them together at the same time, or from some grand overview sort of of position). More like lists that get instantly parsed, and then an output is given. The parsing part is often unconscious. Of course, if I have conflicting pieces of information, these may need further consideration and therefore make their way to the forefront, since they delay the output and require conscious refereeing.

This sounds a bit more familiar to me.
 

alcea rosea

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This is not a sarcastic thread. Today I tried. I told my friend that I was going to turn over a new leaf. She told me a little later that "its ok these things dont just happen over night." So I am asking, i know I cant change my type, but how do I soften the T?

First learn to accept yourself as you are, then develop your inferior functions.
 

Tiltyred

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I go with the diplomacy suggestion. But I feel pretty strongly that you should not say things just to please her unless you fully intend to back it up. Don't say, especially after she's said it means so much to her, that you are going to her party unless you are going. IMO, considering the hassle it's going to be to go to her party, you might have offered to spend time with her another way, i.e., "I'm so sorry I can't make it -- I know it means a lot to you and I'm so touched that you want me there. Can we go out to dinner (or whatever) next week, when my schedule will be more flexible, and you can tell me all about it then." And then maybe call her on party day to say you're thinking of her and you know the party will go well and you look forward to your time with her next week.
 

mlittrell

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I always viewed it like this:

T's: Go about decisions in a more detached way.
F's: Go about decisions in a less detached way, and are more likely to empathize with the situation and the people involved. More likely to be influenced by feelings and values in the decision making process.
i say it very similarly

T's: Take a step back from the decision, look at it from a distance, and decide by deductively/inductively choosing the most logical answer

F's: Place themselves into the decision and make a decision based on personal values and you can fill in the rest.
 
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