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  1. #31
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    9w1 sx/so


    good advice too gonzo...but only if that's something you CAN may need something more concrete than that but he may not be in the position to give that to you.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  2. #32
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2008


    Quote Originally Posted by gonzo View Post

    If i try to put myself in the situation you are refering to, in the limits of my understanding, i tend to think...

    You seem to expect a "decision" from him (be with you or not like a commitment) but is this his way of proceeding? It's not mine. I don't "decide" to be someone.

    It happens that i feel good (or not) when i see that person. I feel stuff i wouldn't feel otherwise. And it may be quite basic, but finally of absolute importance for me to build a relationship: how we cook and eat together, how we sleep. Does it happen that we decide for a movie or a trip or a restaurant at the last minute?

    For me, a real relationship fulfills various needs, including very basic ones i tend to forget if not in a relationship. What stays at the end is not the 'discussions' but those basic stuff + that silent look at the landscape we shared from the window of a train, our ability to dream about that travel that never occured...

    Euh... so if you are expecting any advise, and if the guy was me, i would suggest not to wait for a "decision" but try instead to share with him really basic needs on a regular basis. Make him feel he's alive with you, can rest, share food, bed, jokes. He will finally come back everyday.

    It's just what i think.

    Great news he came back!
    Thanks for the advise, that's what my bestfriend (also an ENFP) told me to do.

    So I've been sending him emails every now and then since he's been gone but
    he's only replied once. I'm not sure if he's busy or doesn't feel like replying.

    Don't know if I should continue tho sometimes I really like to share with him
    what I think and how I feel. :confused:

  3. #33
    Member MattC333's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009


    Argh, I do this all the time!
    I meet a girl I really like but if I can't give her 100% I start to feel guilty if she likes me!
    I can't control the fact that I like her but I feel bad that I keep giving her the signal that I do genuinely like her.

    I dated someone earlier this year a few months after I broke up with my fiancee. I did like her but as things progressed I realised my head and heart were still dealing with things. I liked this girl, but the guilt was mortifying.

    My advice is give him time. You don't want pieces of him. If he can't give you 100% he's going to get so confused about it and feel he's not giving you his best.

    If he never comes around, then I'm really sorry, but you honestly don't want an emotionally conflicted ENFP, you want an ENFP that's giving you all that he's got.

    Well that's how I felt with this girl. We weren't totally matched but I'm sure it'd have been more intense and fun, if I'd had my head in there the whole way. Instead I broke it off and felt terrible because I'd brought her into something that I wasn't prepared see through.

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