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- INFJ
This is meant to be casual and a lose compare/contrast thread:
I have a close friend who I have known for many years who is INFP and I thought I would jot down a quick short list of the commonality and differences I’ve observed between us. I’m only honing in on the things I think exhibit how we process things differently as opposed to personal nuances (as best I can). I chose to make a thread since I’m sure there are other everyday natural language examples of the differences between these commonly confused types. So feel free to chime in!
commonality and differences, colloquially speaking:
1. introvert stuff: Both of us are introverted but (infp) friend is less so since she likes to go on hikes and have many different outside of the house experiences compared to myself. I would much rather have a firepit in the yard chillout or a movie or a board game or anything that doesn’t require me leaving the house.
2. general disposition: If I do go out (which I do want to do on occasion), I want to plan the outing. I like planned spontaneity. My friend (infp) however, is truly spontaneous and very easy going and goes with the flow in this regard. I am easy going but in a different way. I don’t get upset easily. Interestingly, she does get upset easily although she is more easy going with plans and the general happenings of the day.
3. empathic sensitivity: We are both very empathic. Also we are both very sensitive. I am very sensitive to other people’s feelings, especially if I care about them. I perceive their feelings and can anticipate their thoughts (again, after I know them. I’m not psychic). My (infp) friend is very sensitive and very empathic too. Although it’s in a different way. She might not anticipate someone’s thoughts and feelings but instead, she is sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of others, more so than the average. This works against her sometimes because she gets angry and/or irritated by the insensitivity of others. Admittedly so do I but to a much lesser extent. It doesn’t rattle me as much. Unless of course it’s someone I deeply care about who is being hurt; then I daydream that I am a God and fantasize about smiting you.
4. maintaining connections: My friend keeps in touch with every friend she has ever had. I’m exaggerating but that is what appears to be the case from my point of view. I am the opposite. I don’t hang on to friends perpetually if we grow apart. I have a hard time “keeping in touch†and that is something I’ve done my best to be cognizant about. She on the other hand would benefit greatly from ditching toxic people in her life. I think this is attributed to her feeling bad about it and not wanting to be rejected. This may be a type 4 thing more so but I myself have no desire to hang on to people who have exhibited behavior that the relationship is overly superficial and/or unimportant. Why am I wasting my time on that?
5. Intuition analogy: we are both walking down a hall. we approach a door. She (infp) says, “Oh, I don’t know. I have a bad feeling about this door.†… Myself (infj) I have to open the door because I don’t know yet. I inspect every aspect of the room and analyze the shady corners. I then declare, “Door, you be fucked up. I have to walk now because this is why you’re messed up and so here are your secrets you were not aware of, go fix yourself and see ya!â€. (infj’s) suck until they calibrate their intuition over time with experience. (infp’s) suck because they have stellar intuition but they don’t trust to act on it necessarily.
6. the good and ugly:
Final comparison. This one is a true story but kinda funny to keep things light and casual. There is this video I saw once and I think it exhibited the differences between me (infj) and my friend (infp) in how we would practice our compassion. it also demonstrates our downfalls.
here’s the gist of the video:
The video was of an animal rescue group that was called to help this dog that fell in a ditch. I guess it was a stray because it had been there a long time. When they finally got this poor dog out it wasn’t just emaciated but it appeared as if it had already been decomposing, alive. I was horrified and heartbroken!
My first reaction was, “omg this poor dog! (it had maggots crawling in its eye sockets and shit, it was awful!) please someone have mercy and put this poor dog down!". That was my thought.
The group however was clearly a bunch of infp’s because they were not at all heartbroken to witness the dogs pain. Or rather, they could withstand the internal feelings of that heartbreak. They took it and cleaned it up and healed it. At the end of the video the dog had parts of its skull missing but he had a wagging tail and was running and playing. and I thought, “awwwww … I’m an assholeâ€. Which brings me to my last point.
I think infj’s are asshole’s in a different way than infp’s.
an infj thinks it knows best. The natural inclination is to help and suspend the judgement we are aware of because we really want to find the good in people. Though some people aren’t good and we do more damage to them by trying imo since we inevitably walk when we realize we made a mistake by sacrificing ourselves (in some circumstances).
infp’s are asshole’s in a different way. They don’t think they know best or think they’re the best. They think they are morally best. Tough stuff to combat. The only way to be close to an INFP is to gain their trust (which is hard) and then, and only then, you can guide and lead them to more rational conclusions. Not that they aren’t rational. It’s just not their first stop. infj’s are rational but its not their first step either. It’s “wait and see†while we analyze and usurp whatever data we need in order to apply our freakishly accurate intuition. Though, admittedly, It’s not always accurate nor are things always freakish.
* I think that the types are often confused because people of all types are mostly aware of what they want to see in themselves. It's almost as if Jung hit the nail on the head when he said that everythihng before 40 is research. Not the verbatim quote but you can look it up. It's the premise that humans are cognitavely mature by 40 but before then, we are only human and haven't the seasoned experience necessary to see the whole reflection in the mirror. something like that.
interested to see if other people chime in who happen to know both types well enough to share casual examples and language of the differences. I really think that it does a diservice for people if they're only thinking in terms of accademic descriptions. I think sometimes, people need help generalizing when they're first getting into this stuff.
I have a close friend who I have known for many years who is INFP and I thought I would jot down a quick short list of the commonality and differences I’ve observed between us. I’m only honing in on the things I think exhibit how we process things differently as opposed to personal nuances (as best I can). I chose to make a thread since I’m sure there are other everyday natural language examples of the differences between these commonly confused types. So feel free to chime in!
commonality and differences, colloquially speaking:
1. introvert stuff: Both of us are introverted but (infp) friend is less so since she likes to go on hikes and have many different outside of the house experiences compared to myself. I would much rather have a firepit in the yard chillout or a movie or a board game or anything that doesn’t require me leaving the house.
2. general disposition: If I do go out (which I do want to do on occasion), I want to plan the outing. I like planned spontaneity. My friend (infp) however, is truly spontaneous and very easy going and goes with the flow in this regard. I am easy going but in a different way. I don’t get upset easily. Interestingly, she does get upset easily although she is more easy going with plans and the general happenings of the day.
3. empathic sensitivity: We are both very empathic. Also we are both very sensitive. I am very sensitive to other people’s feelings, especially if I care about them. I perceive their feelings and can anticipate their thoughts (again, after I know them. I’m not psychic). My (infp) friend is very sensitive and very empathic too. Although it’s in a different way. She might not anticipate someone’s thoughts and feelings but instead, she is sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of others, more so than the average. This works against her sometimes because she gets angry and/or irritated by the insensitivity of others. Admittedly so do I but to a much lesser extent. It doesn’t rattle me as much. Unless of course it’s someone I deeply care about who is being hurt; then I daydream that I am a God and fantasize about smiting you.
4. maintaining connections: My friend keeps in touch with every friend she has ever had. I’m exaggerating but that is what appears to be the case from my point of view. I am the opposite. I don’t hang on to friends perpetually if we grow apart. I have a hard time “keeping in touch†and that is something I’ve done my best to be cognizant about. She on the other hand would benefit greatly from ditching toxic people in her life. I think this is attributed to her feeling bad about it and not wanting to be rejected. This may be a type 4 thing more so but I myself have no desire to hang on to people who have exhibited behavior that the relationship is overly superficial and/or unimportant. Why am I wasting my time on that?
5. Intuition analogy: we are both walking down a hall. we approach a door. She (infp) says, “Oh, I don’t know. I have a bad feeling about this door.†… Myself (infj) I have to open the door because I don’t know yet. I inspect every aspect of the room and analyze the shady corners. I then declare, “Door, you be fucked up. I have to walk now because this is why you’re messed up and so here are your secrets you were not aware of, go fix yourself and see ya!â€. (infj’s) suck until they calibrate their intuition over time with experience. (infp’s) suck because they have stellar intuition but they don’t trust to act on it necessarily.
6. the good and ugly:
Final comparison. This one is a true story but kinda funny to keep things light and casual. There is this video I saw once and I think it exhibited the differences between me (infj) and my friend (infp) in how we would practice our compassion. it also demonstrates our downfalls.
here’s the gist of the video:
The video was of an animal rescue group that was called to help this dog that fell in a ditch. I guess it was a stray because it had been there a long time. When they finally got this poor dog out it wasn’t just emaciated but it appeared as if it had already been decomposing, alive. I was horrified and heartbroken!
My first reaction was, “omg this poor dog! (it had maggots crawling in its eye sockets and shit, it was awful!) please someone have mercy and put this poor dog down!". That was my thought.
The group however was clearly a bunch of infp’s because they were not at all heartbroken to witness the dogs pain. Or rather, they could withstand the internal feelings of that heartbreak. They took it and cleaned it up and healed it. At the end of the video the dog had parts of its skull missing but he had a wagging tail and was running and playing. and I thought, “awwwww … I’m an assholeâ€. Which brings me to my last point.
I think infj’s are asshole’s in a different way than infp’s.
an infj thinks it knows best. The natural inclination is to help and suspend the judgement we are aware of because we really want to find the good in people. Though some people aren’t good and we do more damage to them by trying imo since we inevitably walk when we realize we made a mistake by sacrificing ourselves (in some circumstances).
infp’s are asshole’s in a different way. They don’t think they know best or think they’re the best. They think they are morally best. Tough stuff to combat. The only way to be close to an INFP is to gain their trust (which is hard) and then, and only then, you can guide and lead them to more rational conclusions. Not that they aren’t rational. It’s just not their first stop. infj’s are rational but its not their first step either. It’s “wait and see†while we analyze and usurp whatever data we need in order to apply our freakishly accurate intuition. Though, admittedly, It’s not always accurate nor are things always freakish.
* I think that the types are often confused because people of all types are mostly aware of what they want to see in themselves. It's almost as if Jung hit the nail on the head when he said that everythihng before 40 is research. Not the verbatim quote but you can look it up. It's the premise that humans are cognitavely mature by 40 but before then, we are only human and haven't the seasoned experience necessary to see the whole reflection in the mirror. something like that.
interested to see if other people chime in who happen to know both types well enough to share casual examples and language of the differences. I really think that it does a diservice for people if they're only thinking in terms of accademic descriptions. I think sometimes, people need help generalizing when they're first getting into this stuff.
