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  1. #5001
    Terpsichore Abcdenfp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Earl Grey View Post
    I just visited with my ENFP friend recently. They do have a way of being optimistic about whatever life throws at them, so I think I understand what you're saying. It's true that you do need things you can be optimistic about, however- to erase the bad things blindly, is just blind delusion instead of the classic ENFP-ish optimism and can-do attitude that propels them forward, at least from my non-ENFP POV from the outside looking in. It looks like the vision of making things good and the attitude to bring that into fruition, being able to show yourself that you matter and what you do matters. Wish you had more folks to bounce that off of. I can see how it's basically my ENFP friends' lifeblood and they'd mentally and emotionally die off if they wouldn't be able to do it. I think it gets denigrated as selfish, childish, chaoticism when it's- it's not, really, not the proper kind. I hope you rediscover your optimism again and find things to be optimistic about. What did people do that disgusted you?
    This really made me reflect some more thank you for this, I have been doing a lot of work on myself and learning to be "realistic" and see things the way they are. And I guess I have been in this mode for a long time. Longer than I thought and I think for a creature such as myself there needs to be a sense of lightness/optimism in Order to feel fufilled (maybe not the right word) but because I have been achieving a lot of my goals. I put that to the side.
    I used to trust people blindly and be taken advantage of a lot but over the last 3 years I've really stopped that. I guess I now tend to observe people's behavior first? The way they treat each other and I find a lot of people have no real care for others , they take what they want and abuse people , nature etc. I find it disgusting.
    Quote Originally Posted by Earl Grey View Post
    My rays (or more like blazes) of sunshine want to overkill and concoct 90000000 ways to execute the plan without being able to decide on one, so I have a different kind of problem here.
    I was like this, but I hated it about myself. So I commited to myself that I have to close the loop on whatever thing I deem the most important. For example my books, it took discipline, commitment and focus and now I am on book 3! With my renovations, I knew I wanted to do this and so it's my singular goal this year. I try to tell other creatives get good at closing the loop. This took a lot of for but I think something has to click.
    Likes highlander liked this post

  2. #5002

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    Corazon has been around for only three episodes and I would DIE for him.

    IDK what's his type, but apparently he was typed as INFP? That's my type, but I don't relate to him because he's too soft. Ironically, I relate more to the INTJ Law.
    ☆☆☆
    "When the world shoves you around, you've just got to stand back up and shove back. It isn't like you can do anything just by giving excuses." - Roronoa Zoro

  3. #5003

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    Okay. I wasn't expecting Corazon's death to hit me so much, considering how it's obvious that he's dead because of Doffy. I feel like my heart has been ripped into pieces.
    ☆☆☆
    "When the world shoves you around, you've just got to stand back up and shove back. It isn't like you can do anything just by giving excuses." - Roronoa Zoro

  4. #5004

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    Corazon only appeared for 6 episodes and my heart is broken just like that. how could he
    ☆☆☆
    "When the world shoves you around, you've just got to stand back up and shove back. It isn't like you can do anything just by giving excuses." - Roronoa Zoro

  5. #5005
    Senior Member Pessimistic Hippie's Avatar
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    I firmly believe that the majority of things I've criticized, as shitty as it made me feel to constantly do so, is a big part of what's led to me making things I could actually be proud of. And knowing that plays a big part in why I'm so resistant to outside influences trying to majorly change my pessimistic (was not trying to reference my name xD) outlook. Just because I'm off the mark at times doesn't make the overall picture irrelevant.

    I just think I could have been nicer about it sometimes, and could discern better when I truly am being closed-minded.
    "If only sounds were words."

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    Likes Red Memories liked this post

  6. #5006
    You are Free. Earl Grey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Abcdenfp View Post
    This really made me reflect some more thank you for this, I have been doing a lot of work on myself and learning to be "realistic" and see things the way they are. And I guess I have been in this mode for a long time. Longer than I thought and I think for a creature such as myself there needs to be a sense of lightness/optimism in Order to feel fufilled (maybe not the right word) but because I have been achieving a lot of my goals. I put that to the side.
    I used to trust people blindly and be taken advantage of a lot but over the last 3 years I've really stopped that. I guess I now tend to observe people's behavior first? The way they treat each other and I find a lot of people have no real care for others , they take what they want and abuse people , nature etc. I find it disgusting.
    Ah, it happens. Sometimes we overdo our strengths and in an effort to balance it out, pendulum swing a wee too hard to the other side. It's nice though, getting that full perspective and figuring out what you like about it so you can keep it if you wanted to. It sounds like you picked up really useful skills.

    I don't think this is incompatible with optimism. And if there were no optimism whatsoever you wouldn't even be starting a book at all! (Let alone three?! Goodness- congratulations.) If you weren't optimistic enough that there were good people out there, you wouldn't be observing people's behaviour to vet them out- you would just toss humanity out in entirely. You're probably not as optimistic as you want to be, but for me (a very cautious person) the optimism is some of the driving force behind what I do. I tend to be able to have a go at something despite setbacks way more than others do, and partly for me it's optimism, not just perseverance. Without the driving force, it really is just a soul sucking marathon of objective after objective with no life behind it, so I relate (a little) to that needing that optimism to feel fulfillment, so I think you're wording it correctly, or at the very least I'm understanding what you're getting at.

    At least for me, I would describe my optimism as simply a belief that something is possible, and a belief that I deserve (to try) it. The latter may sound strange, but is very important as well for sustainable optimism- you have experienced that people who don't want to try or who can't be bothered will try shoot you down, and it's important to recalibrate your expectations and realise that you're doing this for yourself, no one else, and dissenters' opinions shouldn't be a factor in whether or not you even try.


    I was like this, but I hated it about myself. So I commited to myself that I have to close the loop on whatever thing I deem the most important. For example my books, it took discipline, commitment and focus and now I am on book 3! With my renovations, I knew I wanted to do this and so it's my singular goal this year. I try to tell other creatives get good at closing the loop. This took a lot of for but I think something has to click.
    'Close the loop' - what brilliant wording. It's very nice to get perspective from you. I may advise my friends this way myself, since it is advice that will work with their preferences and is compatible with how they do things. I think fulfillment-seekers sometimes forget that completing something and being able to declare something for yourself (they seem to find it important that it is in alignment with who they are- ... E-FPs?) also brings them that fulfillment they long wanted- ignoring this, they end up in paralysis or burnt out pessimism (or in a pile of incomplete projects and no friends).

    How do you usually explain this to them?
    What is the point if those with the means and power do not fight?

  7. #5007
    Terpsichore Abcdenfp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Earl Grey View Post
    Ah, it happens. Sometimes we overdo our strengths and in an effort to balance it out, pendulum swing a wee too hard to the other side. It's nice though, getting that full perspective and figuring out what you like about it so you can keep it if you wanted to. It sounds like you picked up really useful skills. I don't think this is incompatible with optimism. And if there were no optimism whatsoever you wouldn't even be starting a book at all! (Let alone three?! Goodness- congratulations.) If you weren't optimistic enough that there were good people out there, you wouldn't be observing people's behaviour to vet them out- you would just toss humanity out in entirely. You're probably not as optimistic as you want to be, but for me (a very cautious person) the optimism is some of the driving force behind what I do. I tend to be able to have a go at something despite setbacks way more than others do, and partly for me it's optimism, not just perseverance. Without the driving force, it really is just a soul sucking marathon of objective after objective with no life behind it, so I relate (a little) to that needing that optimism to feel fulfillment, so I think you're wording it correctly, or at the very least I'm understanding what you're getting at. At least for me, I would describe my optimism as simply a belief that something is possible, and a belief that I deserve (to try) it. The latter may sound strange, but is very important as well for sustainable optimism- you have experienced that people who don't want to try or who can't be bothered will try shoot you down, and it's important to recalibrate your expectations and realise that you're doing this for yourself, no one else, and dissenters' opinions shouldn't be a factor in whether or not you even try. 'Close the loop' - what brilliant wording. It's very nice to get perspective from you. I may advise my friends this way myself, since it is advice that will work with their preferences and is compatible with how they do things. I think fulfillment-seekers sometimes forget that completing something and being able to declare something for yourself (they seem to find it important that it is in alignment with who they are- ... E-FPs?) also brings them that fulfillment they long wanted- ignoring this, they end up in paralysis or burnt out pessimism (or in a pile of incomplete projects and no friends). How do you usually explain this to them?
    Believe it or not I felt seen from your response and grateful. Being an optimistic person by nature and trying to realistic feels like a juggling act or a tightrope I can feel each swing to the other side very painfully. I keep closer to the realist side because I have began to understand it grows my creative side.


    I have realized that creatives have to experience closing the loop for themselves in order to understand it. This is truly a through the doing process. No one could have explained it to me but I realized taking a bite of the elephant was the way to get there. Each day take a chunk out. I guess at some time unhealthy I got fixated on the finishing (almost like a compulse) and forgot to remember the joy that is supporting and encouraging others. This was a reminder that I am my most joyous when I am supporting others and growing through that experience.


    thank you for walking me through this . It was so important and fulfilling for me

  8. #5008
    Senior Member Pessimistic Hippie's Avatar
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    Some old lady just tried to scold me for going back and forth doing laundry (I had to go back and forth like 10 times.) Granted it is late, but I haven't been able to do it for days and the machines were busy any other time I tried.

    Guess I'm just somewhat surprised because I haven't been reprimanded by some random stranger (outside of work) in years. All I told her back was that I couldn't do it any earlier and that I was done with it now.
    "If only sounds were words."

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  9. #5009
    Taking Brief blessblessblessblessbless Break RadicalDoubt's Avatar
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  10. #5010
    The Ruined King тень's Avatar
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    Can I just not hyperfocus enough to sleep for once? Also, no anxiety dreams please.

    No one saved me

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