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  1. #381

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    I've been beckoned and will simultaneously follow the call and lead the way. I will move forward with force and grace. I will steady my gaze and focus on the process with the knowledge that the end goal is not separate from the present. I will attract the attention of onlookers but I will not be distracted. I will become the artist, the canvas, the pigment, and the brush stroke. I will be my own Masterpiece. I begin now.
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  2. #382
    Blessed With A Curse ThisName's Avatar
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    The need for someone to take me out on a survival/obstacle run. I really want to do something. Or something like Expedition Robinson (Survivor?), with friendly competitiveness (because I hate loosing but challenges are fun- not that I am going to loose a game).

    Also me; *lays in bed all day long*
    *stamina bar has shrunk by at least 75%*

    There used to be a time when I did things.
    I Always Go Back To Me



  3. #383
    Feline Moderator The Cat's Avatar
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    Music videos were so different back in the day. The aesthetics change but the songs stay the same...
    SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY...
    Likes Jazzy Orchid liked this post

  4. #384
    Forged In Flames Hexcoder's Avatar
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    I feel closed off. Why can't I just lock myself inside and throw away the key like most people do? Why does it always just leave me starving for more? To me there's a disconnect that happens with that and no relationship is satisfying enough...it's like eating nothing but small, insubstantial snacks. I wish I could be satisfied with distance, with just grazing a little...but every time I try I just remember I can't do it. The thing is though...exposure leads to wounds and exhaustion. It's a lose-lose. I don't want to put myself out there, but something inside me is unhappy if I don't. The other part is unhappy when I do. I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do here. Shallow connections don't feel authentic to me...distant social exchanges feel superficial and shallow...
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  5. #385
    ιяяєѕιѕтιвlє Ꮆяαѕρ Luminous's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hexcoder View Post
    I feel closed off. Why can't I just lock myself inside and throw away the key like most people do? Why does it always just leave me starving for more? To me there's a disconnect that happens with that and no relationship is satisfying enough...it's like eating nothing but small, insubstantial snacks. I wish I could be satisfied with distance, with just grazing a little...but every time I try I just remember I can't do it. The thing is though...exposure leads to wounds and exhaustion. It's a lose-lose. I don't want to put myself out there, but something inside me is unhappy if I don't. The other part is unhappy when I do. I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do here. Shallow connections don't feel authentic to me...distant social exchanges feel superficial and shallow...
    Likes Hexcoder liked this post

  6. #386
    Kawaii Jazzy Orchid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hexcoder View Post
    I feel closed off. Why can't I just lock myself inside and throw away the key like most people do? Why does it always just leave me starving for more? To me there's a disconnect that happens with that and no relationship is satisfying enough...it's like eating nothing but small, insubstantial snacks. I wish I could be satisfied with distance, with just grazing a little...but every time I try I just remember I can't do it. The thing is though...exposure leads to wounds and exhaustion. It's a lose-lose. I don't want to put myself out there, but something inside me is unhappy if I don't. The other part is unhappy when I do. I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do here. Shallow connections don't feel authentic to me...distant social exchanges feel superficial and shallow...
    sending love. you can always talk to me...
    Likes Hexcoder liked this post

  7. #387

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    Sorrow. And sorrow for my sorrow.
    I'll be fine. I always am, somehow.
    Likes Hexcoder, Jazzy Orchid liked this post

  8. #388
    alchemist Legion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    I actually do think that someone is screwing around with my Alexa, some hacker or something, just to mess with me.

    I also think that most of the conspiracies that people imagine are going on are far removed from the actual likely ones that are, in fact, most of the conspiracies are themselves part of what could be considered "conspiratorial behaviour" but its not, its just business as usual for a lot of agencies and crooks who're making money from organized war and organized crime, which are kind of the same thing (yeah, did you ever think that was the issue, not organized religion but orgaized war and organized crime?)
    Organised religion has been a major tool in instituting organised war though, hasn't it?

    I think a lot of conspiracy theories are in the ballpark, like the illuminati and all that. A lot of it is probably made up by illuminati themselves to throw people off the trail.

    There's a lot of sinister stuff out there. Shadow government instates rules to control population, benefit themselves and engage in evil towards others and God. COVID for example.

  9. #389
    Feline Moderator The Cat's Avatar
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    fascinated. Hopeful.
    SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY...

  10. #390

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    I feel like I was never anything and that I just can't do it again. Like I'll never understand and I'll never recover. I can't do what I did and be who I was for another ever again. I don't operate on repeat like that. I feel like just another book on a shelf in a collection of other partially read books. I don't understand life anymore.

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