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  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    May 2019

    Default My INFJ friend said that I relax him. What types relax you?

    I'm an INTP female, friends with an INFJ male. Kinda intrigued by this and just wanting other people's take on it.

    So, without getting into too much detail, my friend is basically a counselor and deals with people who are emotional/sad as his full time job. His girlfriend is an INFP, with severe GAD/depression and seems to be quite a handful from what I can tell. He said that me being friends with his girlfriend is good for her, she doesn't have a lot of friends and has really low self esteem/confidence and that I am a good influence essentially. We all hang out and play games sometimes, but rarely, it is just him and I. We stayed up super late last night just dicking around playing games and talking. I made him laugh for a solid five minutes at one point and he said that he really needed that and he has had a tough week. He also said a main reason he likes spending time with me is because I am one of the few people in his life who understands/respects that he is also a person with emotions, basically that I don't emotionally steamroll him. Said that I am relaxing to be around and encouraged me to do ASMR multiple times (we have talked about ASMR in the past), said that he would listen to it even though he doesn't like ASMR, that I'd be really good at it, that I'm relaxing to be around, etc.

    I guess I am just intrigued by his last thought. I think the majority of people who know me (I guess I'm mostly thinking about work) would not find me relaxing. I think they would find me intimidating. But my most recent ex has said this to me before, and used to call me in the middle of the night very rarely when he was upset or stressed and he'd fall asleep on the phone talking to me and would thank me the next day. But that is basically it. So, I guess I am wondering if it is just part of our dynamic in that I am not emotionally draining that my friend perceives me this way, or am I actually a relaxing person to be around? Because that is not a word I would think to describe myself as. Guess I'm just intrigued by this, wondering other people's thoughts.

    Are there any types that generally relax you?

  2. #2
    Junior Member LaBambi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    6w5 so/sp


    Si in general relaxes me spending the afternoon having tea with my SJ friends is a mental spa for me. conversation is kept light, there's this very calm comfortable atmosphere, and i enjoy their humor. with them i prefer the short story to be long, i always shake my head when they ask "should i skip the details?" etc.

    i'm also very in my head so spending time with people that seem so in tune with the present moment makes me abandon myself for a little while. it is very liberating

    it's an awesome quality to have so if you have this effect on your friends, it's a wonderful thing
    Likes The Mysterious Stranger, awbro liked this post

  3. #3
    Mastermind Fieldmarshal Sacrophagus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2017


    NFPs. The ones who don't mind stopping to look through you and explore what lies beyond your presence. They invest themselves against your will to understand the secrets of what seems uncharted territory to everyone else. It's the relationship between what could look like a predator and its prey on the outside, but it is absolutely not that way. What could have been a prey finds amusement and comfort in exploring the predator's fangs, playfully admiring its stature, licking its wounds, and the predator cannot but fall in love with this crazy who recklessly yet amicably has broken its defenses with zero to no effort at all.
    الخَيلُ وَاللَيلُ وَالبَيداءُ تَعرِفُني *** وَالسَيفُ وَالرُمحُ وَالقِرطاسُ وَالقَلَمُ
    Swift steeds, dreary nights, and the desolate wasteland, all know me full well
    As do the sword, the spear, the paper and the pen.

  4. #4
    Moderator Yuu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Duno None



    I find they aren’t as judgemental as most other types. I can be myself around ( most) of them and know that they aren’t going to decide everything about me from one off-day or mispspoken word.
    " Do something, even if it's wrong."

    " I don't wanna have to but I will, if that's what I'm supposed to do
    We don't wanna set up for the kill, but that's what I'm 'bout to do."
    Likes The Mysterious Stranger liked this post

  5. #5


    Healthy INTJ’s.

    They have this serene quality about them. A methodology to life that trims the fat and proceeds with quiet reliability.
    Likes The Mysterious Stranger liked this post

  6. #6
    𝕯ყ๓คჯιơŋ Luminous's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    925 sx/sp
    EII Fi


    so/sxs, 95s, FPs
    ✦ᏖᏒᎥᎮ ค ℓιɬɬℓɛ Ꮭıɠɧɬ ʄคŋɬคʂɬıƈ✦ -: ✦ :- ƒ O ᖇ G E ᗪ I ᑎ ƒ I ᖇ E ❋-: ✦ :-★ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ꜰᴇᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴇʟꜱ★
    * ・゚ ・゚ * ⊱9w1✶S✶2w1✶X✶5w6⊰ * ・゚ ・゚ *
    ✦Շђєяє คяє ๓σяє тнιηﻭѕ ιη нєανєη αη∂ єαятн Շђαη คяє ∂яєαмт σƒ ιη уσυя ρнιℓσѕσρну.✦

  7. #7
    A Bittersweet Symphony... The Mysterious Stranger's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    479 sx/so


    INTP so doms are balmy for me. We seem to have a natural rhythm and seem to share a sense of humor and entertainment aesthetic.
    I am but a dream--
    Your dream,
    A creature of your imagination...

    We're all Faery Tales; after a fashion,
    Our stories unfolding around us...
    and through us...

    In a moment you will have realized this,
    then you will banish me from your visions
    and I shall dissolve into the nothingness out of which you made me...

    Likes Hermit of the Forest liked this post

  8. #8
    Can't be satisfied. Peter Deadpan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016


    Enneatype 9s, which I'm guessing you are. There is an innate grounding earthiness to them, and both a supportive warmth and holding space which allows for others to just "be", right there, in the moment. 9s are like anchors or rocks, roots, or sometimes even an indescribable gaseous mist.

    All gut types bring me back down to Earth a little, but 9s (or 9-wingers) by far (thus far) win the gold medal.
    Perpetual mood

    “Sometimes I think I have felt everything I'm ever gonna feel.
    And from here on out, I'm not gonna feel anything new.
    Just lesser versions of what I've already felt.”

    - look it up yourself

    Likes The Mysterious Stranger liked this post

  9. #9
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    5w4 sx/so


    unsoliciting, non-clingy, chill
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.
    Likes awbro liked this post

  10. #10


    My Isfj friend and Infp friend are very relaxing to be around.

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