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[INFJ] My INFJ friend said that I relax him. What types relax you?

pancakepolice

New member
Joined
May 13, 2019
Messages
1
MBTI Type
INTP
I'm an INTP female, friends with an INFJ male. Kinda intrigued by this and just wanting other people's take on it.

So, without getting into too much detail, my friend is basically a counselor and deals with people who are emotional/sad as his full time job. His girlfriend is an INFP, with severe GAD/depression and seems to be quite a handful from what I can tell. He said that me being friends with his girlfriend is good for her, she doesn't have a lot of friends and has really low self esteem/confidence and that I am a good influence essentially. We all hang out and play games sometimes, but rarely, it is just him and I. We stayed up super late last night just dicking around playing games and talking. I made him laugh for a solid five minutes at one point and he said that he really needed that and he has had a tough week. He also said a main reason he likes spending time with me is because I am one of the few people in his life who understands/respects that he is also a person with emotions, basically that I don't emotionally steamroll him. Said that I am relaxing to be around and encouraged me to do ASMR multiple times (we have talked about ASMR in the past), said that he would listen to it even though he doesn't like ASMR, that I'd be really good at it, that I'm relaxing to be around, etc.

I guess I am just intrigued by his last thought. I think the majority of people who know me (I guess I'm mostly thinking about work) would not find me relaxing. I think they would find me intimidating. But my most recent ex has said this to me before, and used to call me in the middle of the night very rarely when he was upset or stressed and he'd fall asleep on the phone talking to me and would thank me the next day. But that is basically it. So, I guess I am wondering if it is just part of our dynamic in that I am not emotionally draining that my friend perceives me this way, or am I actually a relaxing person to be around? Because that is not a word I would think to describe myself as. Guess I'm just intrigued by this, wondering other people's thoughts.

Are there any types that generally relax you?
 

LaBambi

New member
Joined
Apr 23, 2018
Messages
3
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
Si in general relaxes me :heart: spending the afternoon having tea with my SJ friends is a mental spa for me. conversation is kept light, there's this very calm comfortable atmosphere, and i enjoy their humor. with them i prefer the short story to be long, i always shake my head when they ask "should i skip the details?" etc.

i'm also very in my head so spending time with people that seem so in tune with the present moment makes me abandon myself for a little while. it is very liberating

it's an awesome quality to have so if you have this effect on your friends, it's a wonderful thing :heart:
 

Sacrophagus

Mastermind Fieldmarshal
Joined
Jul 11, 2017
Messages
1,702
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
854
NFPs. The ones who don't mind stopping to look through you and explore what lies beyond your presence. They invest themselves against your will to understand the secrets of what seems uncharted territory to everyone else. It's the relationship between what could look like a predator and its prey on the outside, but it is absolutely not that way. What could have been a prey finds amusement and comfort in exploring the predator's fangs, playfully admiring its stature, licking its wounds, and the predator cannot but fall in love with this crazy who recklessly yet amicably has broken its defenses with zero to no effort at all.
 

Yuurei

Noncompliant
Joined
Sep 29, 2016
Messages
4,509
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
8w7
INFP.

I find they aren’t as judgemental as most other types. I can be myself around ( most) of them and know that they aren’t going to decide everything about me from one off-day or mispspoken word.
 
Joined
May 19, 2017
Messages
5,100
Healthy INTJ’s.

They have this serene quality about them. A methodology to life that trims the fat and proceeds with quiet reliability.
 

Luminous

༻✧✧༺
Joined
Oct 25, 2017
Messages
10,235
MBTI Type
Iᑎᖴᑭ
Enneagram
952
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
so/sxs, 95s, FPs
 

The Cat

Just a Cat who hangs out at the Crossroads
Staff member
Joined
Oct 15, 2016
Messages
23,552
INTP so doms are balmy for me. We seem to have a natural rhythm and seem to share a sense of humor and entertainment aesthetic.
 

Peter Deadpan

phallus impudicus
Joined
Dec 14, 2016
Messages
8,883
Enneatype 9s, which I'm guessing you are. There is an innate grounding earthiness to them, and both a supportive warmth and holding space which allows for others to just "be", right there, in the moment. 9s are like anchors or rocks, roots, or sometimes even an indescribable gaseous mist.

All gut types bring me back down to Earth a little, but 9s (or 9-wingers) by far (thus far) win the gold medal.
 

Hermit of the Forest

Greetings humans • Hunting
Staff member
Joined
May 20, 2017
Messages
5,783
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
ESFP So/Sxs are so easy to be around, easy to talk to, and tend to draw me like a moth to the light.

INFPs are kind and nurturing friends, as well as wise counselors.

INFJs and XSFJs are great to laugh with and hang out with.
 

MyINFJness

Member
Joined
Jun 15, 2019
Messages
80
Enneagram
2
I met an ISTJ who grounds me in a snap. Something very foreign to me given my two feet are three feet off the ground all of the time in my perpetual ‘busy’ state.
 

skimpit

Active member
Joined
Oct 4, 2016
Messages
717
I haven't had any actual real life friends in a while, but when I did, boy were they different from what I'd been used to before then.

Two of my friends were typed as INTJ, and I don't know if that's what they were. But they were serene to be around because I was always unsure of my opinions and plans, and they just steamrolled over tradition and common perception and did what they liked with style. They set the whole tone for the group by leading solidly, and I felt good in their hands even if I was unsure of their motives or what they'd do next. It was excellent and refreshing.

I also had a friend who typed as ISFP, and she was refreshing to be around, too, because she was go with the flow, but also had a whole lot of conviction and intelligence.
 

Lexicon

Temporal Mechanic
Staff member
Joined
Sep 28, 2008
Messages
12,342
MBTI Type
JINX
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Different types can relax me (INFJ) in different ways.

INTP best friend relaxes me because she’s open, nonjudgmental, not quick to react, and likes to carefully take things apart. The last one can be useful if I’m mulling over a problem, or if I just need some kind of intellectual distraction. We can talk about everything and nothing at all. We’re kind of one another’s security blankets by default when we’re in chaotic, crowded places due to this dynamic.


ESFP childhood best friend kicks on my silly-switch and makes me laugh a lot. She brings out the goofy, unwieldy kid in me probably more than anyone. Releases a pressure valve of sorts. She’s known me since we were 12, so she gets it if I just want to sit back and observe if we’re in a social situation. She can inadvertently keep other people from bothering me, since she’s the loudest thing in the room.


INTJs have a unique sort of consistency and dry sense of humor I find tremendously calming. Providing they’re not pushy about it, they can be really helpful with adding structure/efficiency to certain types of problem-solving. Resolving things is highly relaxing. Or they add some Fi perspective that reminds me to take care of/advocate for myself, and that it’s okay/reasonable to do so.


xSTP friends get me out of my head. We can do fun outdoorsy stuff together. Good verbal banter. Appreciate the Ti perspective with taking apart problems and simplifying them if I feel like sharing/they’re interested. Or we just hangout and not talk (well, specifically the introverted ones for that last one, ha). They’re great at just being. No pressure or high investment in expectations.


ENTP’s can be both relaxing and draining. Kind of depends on the situation and what led up to it, I guess. They’re fun to engage with cerebrally, and offer that same kind of down-the-rabbit-hole mental distraction I get with my INTP friend, which helps me decompress from whatever’s weighing on me, but, sometimes I do have a stopping point with my ability to engage/reduced energy levels that they may not notice from time to time. At which point, I find myself struggling to politely disengage, which is a less than relaxing feeling, but it’s not their fault. I think OFF is more of an option for them than a requirement, whereas I’ll need space/silence eventually to recharge, and that LOW-BATTERY warning indicator can catch even me by surprise.


With other types, I’m more prone to worrying about failing to meet some expectation they have, or accidentally hurting their feelings, so I can’t fully relax with them.

There are some pretty chill IxFP’s, though. We click well and laugh easily together. Share feelings/passions/fears with relative ease. Their unfiltered originality can be an inspiring thing. NF’s all have a silent sort of, intensity, hiding within. Knowing that tends to keep me on a higher alert, slightly less relaxed, but some infp’s do manage to get me past that.

I’m speaking broadly about all this, of course. Not in terms of absolutes.
 
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