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[NF] Ok, Fellow NFs, answer me this.....

cacaia

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...How do you feel after you have a conversation about a misunderstanding with your co-worker?
Picture this:
The co-worker calls on your lateness and realizes they were harsh in talking to you.
You feel like this co-worker has done this a lot and don't like to be the one they unload their stress on. You talk it all out, validate each other's feelings. The coworker realizes they are harsh and leave in tears. What's your reaction?
 
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That someone (the coworker) is probably engaging in a self evaluation and doesn’t like what they see.
 

Zhaylin

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I don't work, but this used to happen a lot with my husband in our early days.
I'd be the first to cry, though, because of his harshness. Then he would get upset because I was upset lol.

If the two parties hashed everything out, and remain respectable, then my reaction would be "I need to do better". And because the other person left in tears, it seems they feel a need to do better too.
Just keep the lines of communication open. It sounds like there's no problem.
 

Abcdenfp

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...How do you feel after you have a conversation about a misunderstanding with your co-worker? Picture this: The co-worker calls on your lateness and realizes they were harsh in talking to you. You feel like this co-worker has done this a lot and don't like to be the one they unload their stress on. You talk it all out, validate each other's feelings. The coworker realizes they are harsh and leave in tears. What's your reaction?
I will feel relieved but watch for behavioral changes , if none are made I will keep my distance. To me tears without behavior adjustments are just a form of manipulation or being embarrassed for being called out.
 

cacaia

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Everything was resolved. I am asking mainly through an analytical lens, since I am trying to find patterns with reaction and type. I do not know what I am, and my reaction was that I had caused someone to be sad by speaking the truth and it made me cry even more because I don't want to cause anyone pain. I'm trying to figure out what that is.
 
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If tears are real (which I'll feel straight away) and I feel enough comfortable (it depends on the situation & person), I will look for a deeper analyse WITH (not FOR!) the person.

At work or not at work, it does not matter. If I don't appreciate the coworker (bad intentions, hypocrite, controlling etc) I may act differently or try to ignore him/her for a while.

Maybe this person is feeling very bad in his/her life, too often people tend to misinterpret things for themselves and forget there are many others sufferings

and obstacles to a situation which have nothing to do with them directly.
 

Froody Blue Gem

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I'm pretty avoidant of conflict in general, so I may usually just try to let whatever it is go. I may deal with it by being polite but sweep it under a rug. If it's something major, whatever it makes seeing that person awkward. At work, it's best to have a comfortable environment for everyone so my natural kneejerk reaction does have repercussions. If it gets to the point where I do decide to talk, I try to say whatever it is in a polite way as possible but it's not easy for me in the least bit.

I've had the situation before where I was late for reasons that were out of my control and a coworker called me out for it and they asked me why I was late in an annoyed tone. I kind of apologized, explained why I was late but some resentment built up for that person. I know that being late throws the other workers off and being punctual is very important but it was my first job and I was still learning.
 

mgbradsh

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Annoyed. Mistrustful that I would see change in their behaviour.
 

LucieCat

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I would give them space personally. Then, try to subtly check up on how they are doing later to make sure nothing I said or did actually hurt because I'm inclined to get paranoid about that. If so, apologize she express that that wasn't my intent. If not, continue about my day as normal.
 
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