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  1. #71
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
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    Oct 2008


    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    Are you for real?

    Even if, hypothetically, 50% of the female population really loved them and demanded to only be with men who wore them, there's the other 50% who wouldn't go near you *because* you wear them. The other 50% would have on their must-not list: Must Not Wear Converse.

    You're never going to win going at it this way.
    Incorrect. If 50% of all women were willing to have sex with someone who wears Converse All-Star shoes that would roughly translate to 1.5 billion willing women, and Uber only needs one woman to have sex with him. Therefore, the purchase of Converse All-Star shoes is clearly a worthy investment, even if your hypothetical of 50% of all women is significantly inflated.

    I personally recommend these:

    They emphasize the fact the wearer of the shoes possesses a considerable sexual prowess, and also show that he has a good taste in music. It is a common knowledge that women, especially those in their reproductive prime, associate music with sexuality. Therefore, wearing the above shown shoes can only increase the chances of a sexual encounter for their wearer. A worthy investment, in my opinion.
    Listen to me, baby, you got to understand, you're old enough to learn the makings of a man.

  2. #72


    Yes, they will. Indirectly.

    Because you'll actually have to break your anxiety when it comes to making a decision to get some goddamn shoes, then you'll actually have go out and talk to a goddamn cashier to take them.

    You have to start somewhere

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