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  1. #291
    Patron Saint Of Smileys Gloriana's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009



    Okay, look. You're gonna get that British husband you've always wanted but he's gonna turn out to be a complete douche nozzle in the end (No, it's not Ali or Paul, they're still good peoples). It's gonna hurt, I won't lie. Here's the good part though, you're gonna meet an American guy (Yes! An AMERICAN GUY, no shit!) who's gonna knock your socks off, restore your faith in the male species, and restore your faith in humanity at large.

    Also, he's going to show you what really good sex actually feels like.

    So just go with it.

    --32 year old you in 2010.
    "Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get, but if you work really hard, and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you...amazing things will happen" --Conan O'Brien

  2. #292
    All Natural! All Good!
    Join Date
    Jun 2010


    Dear 9-almost-10 year old me,

    Last year your dad got a book called Please Understand Me II. Please, for your own sake, ask him if you can read it. If you can't understand it yet, ask him to explain it to you. The insights typology will give you will prove invaluable. I just wish I could have had them sooner.

    Also, don't study biology, you won't like it. Go right into English. Scientist you are definitely not.

    Don't let your cat outside on March 20th 2003. He is old and can no longer evade cars.

    In about 7 years your parents will force you to see a counselor. DO NOT, under any circumstances, reveal your real thoughts. But if she still tells you that you shouldn't kill yourself because it gets better, well, know that she's a liar.

    Justin is a good guy. Don't push him away. He isn't like the others.

    You went with your gut on the most important decision of your life (at the writing time) and you were right. DO NOT go against it. DO NOT listen to anyone else. YOU MUST stick with this decision, you'll only know why later.
    Strychnine is all-natural,
    So strychnine is all good.
    It's Godly and righteous,
    So eat it, you should.
    Who are you to refuse nature's will?

    Don't use the multiquote; it was planted by the devil to deceive us.

    Social Role: Asscrack/Piece of Shit/Public Defecator/Spiteful Urinator

    A different type everyday - so no need to type me anymore. But feel free to enjoy the sound of your own asscrack.

  3. #293
    Senior Member Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    9w1 sx


    Yes... You are an adult now, 18 almost 19 years old, but I promise you, you don't know everything you think you do.

    Do NOT take the Camaro through the touchless automatic car wash. Your t-tops will never be the same if you do! They will leak any time it rains if you do that! Don't do it... Seriously.

    Stay away from any guys who claim their first name only starts with one letter. That should be the first clue that he is full of crap.

    Do not let any DJs buy you ANY drinks on the week of the Fall Festival in 2005. It will not end well for you. If you ignore the advice, you will wind up embarrassed and out a lot of money to clean up your record. If you still feel like ignoring this... At least you'll learn something from it....but it'd be a lot easier if you'd just avoid it all together.

    Avoid Hammerheads on Saint Patrick's Day. Do not believe a word that comes out of Matt's friend's mouth. It turns out he's just a jealous a**hole and will do nothing but make you miserable for a couple of years. I'm not kidding. You somehow end up married and divorced within a year. Just save yourself the trouble, you'll meet someone way better a couple of years later. Someone that you are currently friends with now and adore.

    For once in your life, don't be a rebellious stubborn a**, just listen and your life will be better.

    Yours truly,
    Almost 29 year old Kim

  4. #294
    Starcrossed Seafarer Aquarelle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010


    Dear 19-year old self,

    First and foremost, go see Dr Sherman and tell her about your fear of illness. Your physical reaction to this fear is called a panic attack. This is not normal. You have an anxiety disorder. There are medications that can help this.

    Choose the host family option when you study in France.

    Do not do vodka shots with Russians. At least not more than one or two. Seriously. If they insist on buying them, take a tiny sip and pour the rest into a plant.

    When you meet Ilya, resist the temptation. Yeah, he's Russian and exotic, but he's not over his ex and he will scar you for years to come.

    When the Accord finally dies, don't buy the blue 02 Civic. It may seem like fate since your dad and you both put it at the top of your lists, but it will give you nothing but trouble. Get something with a hatchback if you can - you'll want it when you get a dog.

    Start saving money, now. When you get married and buy a house, you'll want some savings.

    When you are planning your trip to Moscow, go for Godzillas hostel right away. Don't stay in that other sh*thole even for one night. And for God's sake, spend the night with Ralph!

    That evening with Grandma, when she gives you a terrified look when you're about to leave... don't leave. Work will be there tomorrow. Grandma won't.

    When Tyler shows up, fight for him, enjoy your time with him, but don't count on him. You need to date him for 6 months; no more, no less. After that, something better is on the way.

    -You, in 10 years
    Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.

    My blog:
    TypeC: Adventures of an Introvert

  5. #295
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    468 sx/sp
    EII None


    Dear Me,

    Use a rope.

    You're welcome.

  6. #296
    Junior Member Danikov's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010


    Lottery results for the next few months:

    494 Sat 16 Sep 2000 04 22 23 26 42 47 (05) 20,000,000
    493 Wed 13 Sep 2000 14 20 25 32 47 49 (34) 2,213,083
    492 Sat 9 Sep 2000 03 04 24 25 35 43 (07) 3,691,268
    491 Wed 6 Sep 2000 06 07 11 23 32 44 (34) 3,011,065
    490 Sat 2 Sep 2000 11 12 21 31 36 40 (22) 3,657,420
    489 Wed 30 Aug 2000 13 21 24 38 40 41 (09) 858,629
    488 Sat 26 Aug 2000 04 11 16 29 34 35 (13) 2,516,345
    487 Wed 23 Aug 2000 03 31 32 37 38 47 (20) 13,667,156
    486 Sat 19 Aug 2000 05 22 34 38 43 46 (09) 7,507,235
    485 Wed 16 Aug 2000 11 24 33 34 37 45 (43) 4,236,992
    484 Sat 12 Aug 2000 06 31 35 36 43 46 (33) 1,658,320
    483 Wed 9 Aug 2000 10 14 32 35 36 43 (37) 4,405,206
    482 Sat 5 Aug 2000 01 03 35 37 39 48 (26) 13,861,061

    Invest most of it in Google, but get out end of 2007 and into Apple end of 2008. Don't fly anywhere near New York, September 2001, and stay out of London July 2005. 00:58:53 UTC on December 26, 2004, giant earthquake in the Indian Ocean. August 23, 2005, Hurricane Katrina devastates south-east US. 03:52:37 UTC on 8 October, 2005, earthquake in Pakistan. 21:53 UTC 12 January, 2010, earthquake in Haiti.

    Find P___ N____ (<contact details>). You won't find anyone better for the next 10 years at least. Also stay in touch with N___ L___. She's an awesome person. Same goes for D____ W___ (<more contact details>). Move to Edinburgh in 2007 and hang out with S____, lots of awesome people there. Oh, and get a job or you'll go stir fry crazy. Stick with the programming, but get into investment and production, that kind of stuff, you'll enjoy that too.

    Oh, and go to Canada as planned. Awesome times to be had.

  7. #297
    Member Dyoni's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010


    ^haha, that is awesome.

    Dear 15-year-old Me:

    Being Goth isn't as cool as you think it is. Don't spend so much time on your hair and makeup. Don't get married to that douchebag you'll meet in High School - getting divorced is really, really awful. Start thinking about how to save money instead of just spending all your paychecks on more goth clothes and awful concerts. Continue getting straight As and you'll get to go to college for free, where your life will actually start being interesting.

  8. #298
    LL P. Stewie Beorn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008



    I know you just got this email address and you don't think email is a big deal, but please start deleting your emails as you read them otherwise in ten years you will end up with 3000 emails in your box and be getting an inbox full message everyday.
    "You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him."
    Norm MacDonald

  9. #299
    Systematic chaos Cenomite's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008


    Dear Little Cenomite,

    Buy lots of oil, it'll cover your student loans.

    The probability that I was procrastinating when I was typing this post:

    P(have big assignment due) = 0.6
    P(posting on TypoC) = 0.2
    P(having big assignment due | posting on TypoC) = 0.7

    P(posting on TypoC | having big assignment due) = .......

    Eh, I'll finish it later.

  10. #300
    Giggity Vie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010


    Dear ten year old self,

    Stop with the bad habit, it's only going to bring to misery in the future.
    Do not quit soccer in five years, you're going to regret it if you do.
    Call step-mom mom right off that bat. She might learn to love you if you do.
    Don't push Alex away, he's the one who does understand you.

    On November 11, 2007 ... stay away from anything but nyquil. Take a giant swig and pass out - everything will be better in the morning, I promise.

    Your older and miserable self.

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