What's My Type? Socionics Version

[HBIC]

[QUOTE=HBIC;34789314]About four years ago I discovered personality typing, which I’ve somehow never heard of before, and decided to give it a shot since I started to go through a lot of changes at that time and wanted to make sense of myself. I took every MBTI test available and came out ENTP in all of them. I also took many Enneagram tests and came out as a type 8 every time.

It all fit me so perfectly at the time, I felt a mixture of elation, giddiness and weirdly fear, because it was so accurate. But very soon after I became active in forums and started to interact with other ENTPs I realized I couldn’t be one, since every single interaction with xNTPs left me either enraged, disgusted or bored. In all these years I’ve come to understand the Enneagram really well and confidently find my tritype and instinctual variants, but never got to find my MBTI type. I then moved to Socionics which I find to be much more interesting, but also confusing and even contradictory in some aspects.

I have no idea why this is so important to me, being that I’m fully aware that neither theory is nowhere near perfect. I justify it to others when they ask as being because I want to work on my weak spots and utilize my strong ones to its full potentials which is true, but I don’t think that’s the only reason. I try to tell myself that these letters mean nothing (which they actually don’t), but I’m still obsessed I just need this to end once and for all so I can move on, otherwise my one track mind won’t let me concentrate on other issues.

If it helps, my Enneagram tritype is 8w7-7w8-3w4 sx/sp/so. I feel like I need to include this because it makes me very confused since I never know if I'm mistaking my Enneagram traits for Socionics aspects. I can't post any pictures of myself for professional reasons, so we'll have to skip the visual identification.

So now onto the questionnaire:

Part I:

General to specific, specific to general – what does it mean?
Big Picture >Details, Details >Big Picture.
For example I’ll sintetize what a person’s personality is, and then if anyone asks “What do you mean?” or “Why do you think so?” I’ll explain in detail. Then people will ask (it happens every time so I’m used to it, not only when I’m “explaining” a person, but any subject really) “But HOW do you know that?!” and I’ll give out very specific details and episodes (I have a great memory).

What does "logical" mean? What is your understanding? Do you think that it correlates with the common view?
To me is something that makes sense and can be explained and understood based on certain principles that any intelligent person could follow, even if they disagree. I have a big disregard for common sense, which in general is so near sighted is almost blind, so no, it doesn’t always correlates to it.

How do you explain fractions on the dial of the clock?
I don’t see why I would have to do that unless the person is a child in which case I’d say that each fraction is a minute, that an hour has sixty of them ...you know what nevermind. I really don’t have the patience or the ability to explain things to children.

What is a rule? What rules do you have to follow?
A procedure or a law, depending on the situation. Never really cared for them, but if it makes sense to me I’ll follow then and make sure others do to, unless their actions won’t impact me or others in any way.

What is hierarchy? Do you need to follow it? Why or why not?
A system of organizing people based on ranks. I’ve Always been acutely aware of them even (and perhaps mostly) when they are hidden or unconsciously existent by the individuals in it. If I’m just “passing through” the system (I don’t have to join it) then I’ll entertain myself by observing it but if I’m forced to join this hierarchical system, then I’ll make sure to get to the top ASAP. But this is just the thoughts I have about it, because weirdly I actually never had to “get to the top”, somehow it has always been handed to me without me (as I perceive) doing anything. It has actually been a very disconcerting occurrence that followed me all my life,because I can’t figure out why the people in the power seem to always want me to be there without proving myself or something like it. In the past it made me really anxious, because I don’t know what they expect from me and because I suffered many witch hunts due to the envy it causes in other people.
I don’t see how there’s anything and specially anyone higher than me, that’s why authority is foreign concept to me, except if we’re talking abou the police. I am the only authority in my life, that’s probably because of my Enneagram.

What do you think of instructions? Do you use them? Could you write an instruction manual? If so, what type of instruction manual would you most likely write?
I read them so I have a general concept of what I’m dealing with, but my past experience proves that following them always results in disaster or mediocrity in my case. I only cook by myself for example, because I know that if i had people with me they’d be shocked with my methods of doing thins and I don’t want to stand their questioning it when they always prize the results so much. I hate this kind of thing really, it’s a hypocrisy.
Not, I could never write a manual, I’d never have the patience. I also have bad experiences with it, because whenever I left my mom (IEI) instructions to do anything she would either don’t follow them and things wrong or follow then but get things wrong anyway. So why bother?

Please explain: "Freedom is in complying with the laws, but not in ignoring the laws"? Do you agree with the statement? Why?
This is an absolutely ridiculous statement. Freedom is a state of mind, which is why a man can be in jail and still be free, because it is something partaking the spirit, not the body. There is no greater freedom than total unconditional self love and acceptance. Also not feeling like you need anyone else to complete you or inspire you etc. In terms of actions, freedom is doing what you want because it makes you happy and makes sense to you according to your life philosophy.

Tell us how consistent you are.
I don’t know because I hear different things? People tell me I have a very strong and defined personality, but at the same time people (frequently the same ones!) tell I’m unpredictable and mysterious? So I don’t know really, I believe I might be consistent in my principles, in who I am but inconsistent in how I am.

What is a "standard"? Why do people need it?
Is the minimal requirements for something.

You need to put your home library in order. How do you feel about this activity? How will you approach this task?
Oh my God, it’d easily take me the whole day because I would end up opening the books and rereading them, and then after I realized how late it was I’d just stuff them onto the shelves without no criteria whatsoever.

What is work in your opinion?
Labor of some sort.

Why do people go to work?
Mostly because they have no choice but. Others are lucky and do it for their personal enjoyment and fulfillment.

Are there any parameters where you can distinguish whether you can do this work or not?
Yes. Is it fun/interesting? Is it comfortable (not only physically, but mentally and ethically)? Does it pay well compared tom my efforts? Am I good enough at it?

Is there any correlation between quality and quantity?
Not necessarily, but I do love having a lot of something, and many options.

Tell us if or how the price depends on quality?
Obviously not, it’s scam after scam everywhere.

How do people determine the quality of work?
It’s largely subjective. But of course most people won’t admit to it.

How do you determine such quality?
If it meets my standards, then it has high quality vem if it doesn’t suit my tastes.

How well you can determine the quality of any purchase, do you pay any attention to it?
If buying the thing makes sense to me, then what else is there to consider? I don’t shop on impulse, I pay attention to what I buy, be it food or designer clothes.

How do you feel if you didn't finish some work? Does it ever happen? What are the reasons?
Well it depends on why I didn’t finish it, doesn’t it? I rarely feel guilty even when I don’t have a good reason for it not being finished, I might get anxious to make up for the lost time though. Now if I tried really hard but couldn’t finish it then I’d feel frustrated and mad.

What is "interesting work" for you? Please explain in detail.
Something I’d do for hours, for free. Something satisfying.

You go to the store and see something you're interested in buying; there is a price tag on it. What parameters are you going to use to understand if it's overpriced, underpriced, or priced correctly?
Is it in season? Is it beautiful/attractive? Is it good quality? Is it unique?

When you work and someone tells you: "You don't do it right." What is your reaction?
I’ll usually feel irritated at first, but my reaction from then on depends on how they said it (tone of voice) and who is this person. Do they have any right to meddle in my business without me given then the permission to?

There is a professional right next to you. You always see that you can't perform the way they do. Your feelings, thoughts and actions?
It depends on whether I feel like I’d want to or should measure up to them or beat them at it. I don’t expect or desire to be better at baking than Buddy Valastro for example, but when it comes tom my area of expertise, I do HATE when someone is obviously better than me. I don’’t hate the person though, ever. My compliments era genuine, but I do Always thing I have to beat them.

Part II:

When you have to ask someone else to help you with the task, how do you feel?
Normal, unless the person is a considered enemy, in which case I’d only ask if it’s between that and death.

You need to build a pyramid exactly like in Egypt. Your thoughts, feelings and actions?
Why would I have to do that? I don’t have to do anything. I have zero interest in construction or mimicry either, so that’s it.

What is beauty?
It’s something incredible because it’s an individual experience, but one which we may share. Beauty is the biggest currency we have because it’s so powerful it makes time stops in its tracks even if just for a second, is capable of elevating our spirits and can leave such a strong impression you don’t forget that something/someone for years, or perhaps ever.

Do you change your opinion about beauty? Does your understanding correlate with the generally accepted notion? What goes beyond the generally accepted notion?
No, what’s beautiful to me today will be tomorrow and probably forever. True beauty comes with grace, though. People might find a certain celebrity beautiful for example, but I’ll never agree with it if my eyes see only plastic beauty but nothing attractive in it.

Please describe your understanding of a beautifully dressed person. What is the core of beauty? How do you explain what is beautiful to a person who has never heard about beauty before?
I am a true believer in personal seasonal analysis, so if the person is using her designed palette correctly and is dressed in her correct lines (I also believe in David Kibbe) then he/she will be beautiful. I used to believe not everyone could be beautiful, but that was before I saw the light of Sci-Art.
I would say that if something’/someone’s can make them emote in a positive way, that’s beauty.

Is there a template of understanding what beautiful means for everyone to use?
No.

Is there such a term as "classical beauty"?
Absolutely. In David Kibbe’s system for example they are people who have this symmetrical balanced features like Grace Kelly, Gwyneth Paltrow and Dianna Agron. It has a lot to do with a certain poise and class, na elegante air, maybe even regal.

What is comfort?
Feeling good and safe.

What is coziness?
Feeling like you could stay there forever.

How do you create your comfort and coziness?
I surround myself with my favorite sensory things.

How do others evaluate your skill in doing so? Do you agree with them?
I don’t do it for others. But they do it for me, I don’t even have to ask, it’s funny.

How do you pick your own clothes?
I choose something that reflect my mood or will fulfill my intentions, always staying inside my rules of styling (color palette and designs).

Do you follow fashion? Why?
Do you mean trends? If so, then not, I abhor them. I do subscribe to a lot of fashion magazines, though. And I like to attend runaway shows and things like that.

Do you know how to select clothes for different types of figures?
Yes, I’m a fairy godmother.

How do you cook? Do you follow recipes?
Chaotically, but the results are always good, even when according to me, I failed. No, I just do my own thing and it works, so I’m obviously talented.

What do others think of your skill?
Love it to death and always eat too much, I’ve been accused of being the cause for their extra fat many times. Which is ridiculous, of course, they’re fat because they don’t exercise and eat all the wrong things for them.

Are you good at color patterns and mixing them and matching?
Yes, it comes easily and I honestly don’t know how it can be difficult. Some things are a matter of taste, but color can make your eyes hurt.

If someone is telling you what is beautiful and what is not, what goes with what color and what is not, do you agree with this person?
If they are correct, yes. Most people in fashion have no clue though, which is why people think fashion is irrelevant and silly. They taint the art with their incompetence and total lack of talent, they should be doing something else.

Tell us how you'd design any room, house or an office. Do you do it yourself or trust someone else to do it? Why?
I wouldn’t, Id should them some ideas (like a visual board) and give them information on my tastes and demands. The rest is up to them, I’m paying them for it.

How do you know if a person has bad taste? Could you give us an example? Do you always trust your own taste or do you seek opinions from others?
If the person can’t dress according to their coloring and body, then they have bad taste because they are making others uncomfortable by looking at them. Also, there are things that era so ugly you can’t justify their use no matter what arguments you come up with. Like neon fur vests, for example. Also, Beyonce’s general fashion choices. I don’t usually ask for input, only when it’s something rather risky and bold. But in the end I’ll go with y opinion.

Can you line up human resources and make them do things?
Yes, since I was a little kid.

What methods do you use?
I tell them what to do and they do it. If not it depends on the situation. I might take them out of the equation or force them to do what I want by any means necessary. It very rarely has escalated to that point, though.

Can you press people? If so, how does it happen?
Sure, I’ll demand why they haven’t done the thing yet or demand they give me the information I want. I’ told I’m very intimidating when I do it.

What is incursion? How do you deal with this?
When somebody thinks they can invade my territory. I’ll teach them anew and make sure they don’t forget.

What does "my people" and "strangers" mean? When do "my people" become "strangers" and why?
I don’t think in those terms (the “my people” part), at least not consciously. I guess it’d be my inner circle (close friends) vs people I don’t know a lot or care about.

Are there strategies of attack? Can you use them? When is it justified?
But of course, how else would the world work? It’s a stupid question. Of course I’ll use them, they are always justified in principle. If there is a threat or something to be obtained, a war begins, it’s only natural.

Do you think it's ok to occupy someone else's territory? In what situations?
If the person it’s not making good use of it then either they don’t care about it enough or are really incompetent. So I’ll make my move, they might defend their position or yield.

What are the methods of volitional force? When is it most effective and in what situations?
It’s not a method, it’s something that resides inside of you. You either have it, or you don’t, it’s not something you do. It should be effective all the time, that’s what means to be a powerful individual.

How do you protect yourself and your interests?
Ruthlessly. You’re not taking anything from me and then walking away, at least not alive.

Describe your behavior in the situations of opposition and if you have to use some force?
It depends, this is such a vague question. Opposition to what, by whom, where, am I alone or with others...A strategy depends on certain elements. . I’m decente in that I don’t play with my food. If it comes to that then I go for the kill, by striking my enemy’s weakest spot swiftly and preferentially, in public. He’ll be an example, then.

Do others think of you as a strong person? Do you think you are a strong person?
Yes and yes. But I get tired and feel weak too, like any human.

How do you understand if a person is strong? Are there any signs of a strong person?
You just know when you meet them. It has zero to do with external factors like physical power or financial and social influence. It’s something inside but that you pick up on immediately, a force.

What is the core of any force?
Will.

Why do people listen to one person, but not the other?
Because one person is credible (this has nothing to do with titles) or irresistible and the other is not. It’s as simple as that, it’s all psychological even i f people try to justify it and explain it later.

What is boorishness?
The worse thing in the world and whoever posee it are among the most disgusting “human beings”. I don’t deal with that kind of trash.

Does your understanding of it correlate with the generally accepted notion?
Decent people agree with me, unless they are that kind of people who never want to judge anyone, no matter what absurd things they might say or do. No kind of person can be more irritating to me than these supposed “non judgemental” people.

How would you explain what boorishness mean to a 10 year old child?
Again with the child thing? But a 10 year old knows how to read, I’ll give him the dictionary otherwise he’ll become one of those teenagers that expect you to be their personal Google.

How would you explain the same to an adult who does not behave ethically?
I’ll tell him/her they’re being despicable since that sort of behaviour is beneath a human being and therefore they deserve no respect.

How would you improve the moral of the society?
I dythingo not believe in moral, I believe in ethics, which are individual. That is the cause of the global social collapse. The world is filled with human like creatures which are only human in body, but which possess no spirit. Therefore there is no use trying to teach them anything, for they era no capable of understanding ethical problems since they have no conscience.

Can you justify somebody's bad behavior by thinking that he/she wasn't taught how to do so?
Only if said person is a small child or if they have lived their whole lives into some kind of tribe or other vastly different cultural setting with no contact to what we call “civilization”.

Give us your understanding of love. Can you love and punish at the same time?
Love is simply the most powerful force in the world which cannot be explained in words but I’ll say what it means to me: it’s what makes something special and precious to you. It’s the difference between my mom and any other woman, she is more valuable than all of them because I love her. When you love something you attribute value to it, which is why we all want to be loved so much.
Of course this is an oversimplified explanation of only one of love’s facets, but it’s nonetheless true.

Have you heard about the Southern hospitality? Everything is for the guest. There is also a German hospitality – the master of the house is always right. What method is the right one? Try to evaluate without the weight of any cultural aspects, traditions, nations etc.
Yes it’s all very nice when you are the guest, but I operate things differently in my house. I actually identify 100% with Germans etiquette and personal ethics, I would never show up unannounced on someone else's house or show up before or after the decided time o four meeting. I expect the same and have no qualms in letting the person whom infringed these rules know that I will not tolerate it.

What is sympathy? When do you need to express it? When is it advised not to?
It’s akin to pity, you feel bad for them but in this case the person is not seen/felt as weak/pathetic because that could happen to anyone. I will not show sympathy when I don’t feel it because I hate hypocrisy. If I think a person deserved something then I’ll keep my mouth shut even if I do offer help. It happens when a person I love receives the consequences of their bad actions, for example.

Are there any norms of behavior in the society? Do you follow them? Do people always have to follow them? Why?
Obviously there are and yes, I follow them like any civilized person would. But they depend on culture partially, in my country people are not expected to behave like they do in America for example. I think these rules should be followed if you are in a public setting, but only as far as it doesn’t conflict with his/hers personal values. This way of thinking has caused me many problems since it goes against our traditions.

[HBIC]

Part III:

How do you know what attitude among people is right or wrong?
I don’t know, I just do? There are many things things people do in my culture that are considered normal but that make my skin crawl, so I believe my values are self generated. I am however, forever baffled by how people fail to see how unacceptable disrespect and lack of care is. I think some things don’t have to be taught.

What does moral mean? What is immoral? Does your understanding correlate with the others?
It means something that is accepted by society, and immoral is the opposite. My views on this are again, very different from my country’s but I’m not sure how different they are from westerners.

How can you evaluate the correctness of your own understanding?
I usually just know I am. A part of me does question this knowing sometimes, and then another part starts providing an explanation usually using evidence but is quickly shut up by that “knowing” part and I just accept that knowledge. It used to unsettle me before which is why I think that “explaining” part of me was created.

Somebody is giving you a negative attitude – what is your reaction?
It depends on how far they go. I usually respond in kind, but I might just cut them off completely and write them off my list.

Could you show your own negative attitude toward someone else? If so, how? Could you give a person the silent treatment? How easily do you forgive people?
Always have but of course I’m reasonable, there is a time and place for everything. Sometimes the most you can do is to be really cold. Yes, I can give the cold shoulder. As for the last part I’m like a Dementor: it is not in my nature to be forgiving. Of course we’re talking about serious offences here (as I perceive them), I don’t sweat the small stuff. It it’s something minor I just scold the person and teach them better.

"Whole world does not cost one tear of child" – how do you understand this phrase? Do you agree with this opinion?
It’s a ridiculous saying. All the tears of all children aren’t worth the world, that’s how it is. I hate this children cult we have nowadays, it’s poisoning.

Is it acceptable to express emotions? Give examples of inappropriate expression of emotions.
It’s what makes a human, otherwise you are a thing or an alien. Even animals have emotions, because like humans, they are spirited. Inappropriate examples are crying when somebody intimidates or humiliates you, displaying jealousy in the presence of somebody you consider a threat, basically giving people power over you.

Can you use negative emotions? In what situations?
Of course, as volition to make things go your way or even to motivate yourself.

How do you express negative emotions? What does it look like? What do others think about it?
I’ve always been told I’m very scary when I’m mad, but I don’t know what it’s like, since I can’t see myself. And people don’t specify, though they look scared while saying it.

Shallow emotions – what does it mean? Are there any other emotions?
To me they are passing emotions which don’t leave a lasting impression on my overall mood or psyche.

What are right or wrong emotions?
This concept does not apply here. An emotion can be damaging or counter-productive, but not wrong.

Can you change the emotional state of yourself? Of others? To what side – positive or negative?
Yes to all, which is why I’m a good actress.

What does it mean to "pour out your emotions"? How does it happen? Does your internal emotional state correlate with what you show externally?
I guess it’s when someone says something they’ve been holding in for a long time, or cries after holding stress in. I don’t do this because I express my feelings quite freely in general. I know how to keep a poker face or even act, but never for long periods because it’s so displeasing. Unless I’m doing it willingly and for fun, in which cases it can last for longer.

Do you track what mood you are in throughout the day? Do you notice the mood of others?
No, I’m usually not too aware of it unless others comment on it or if it’s really bad. Yes, I notice the slightest change in people’s moods can’t help it really and I hate it.

Do you like surprises?
Generally hate them, they strip me of my agency.

How people change? How do you feel about those changes? Can others see the changes?
For many reasons and sometimes without it. It depends on whether these changes era advantageous to me or not, doesn’t it? Most people see others as static, that’s the most common mistake. They somehow expect people to stay the same and fail to notice the signs that they are changing.

Is it true that whatever happens is only for the best?
Of course not, it’s stupid to think so.

What do you think of horoscopes, fortune telling etc.? Do you believe in luck, lucky fortuity?
I’m very mystical but also very sceptic. I believe 200% in magic but 5% in people, so no horoscopes for example, because the zodiac system was built by humans with na agenda in mind. Lady Luck loves me, so of course I know she exists.

Can you forecast events? Is it even real?
Absolutely, if your channels are opened and you have a gift. I have predictive dreams myself.

What is time? How do you feel time? Can you "kill" time? How?
Na illusion, the biggest trick played on humanity. Yes, time is elastic and you can do what you want it it except reverse it (on your own).

Is it easy for you to wait for some important event? What if you don’t know when it is supposed to happen?
If I feel too strongly about it and I’m not sure of its occurance, then I can’t wait, I have no patience. But if I’m certain it’s coming to pass, then I can wait because I have faith.

Do you need help creating forecasts and determining how something will end? Do you trust those forecasts?
No, I help others in this because it’s in my nature and I’m nearly always right. Yes, I trust them because experience has taught me to.

Are you normally late? How do you react if someone is late?
Almost never and I won’t tolerate it either.

Imagine the situation where you agreed to meet with someone. Your feelings and actions:
a) 20 minutes before the meeting starts, b) 5 minutes before the meeting starts, c) it is time for the meeting to start, but the person is not here, d) 20 minutes after the meeting start time and the person is not here, e) more time and the person is still not here…
Before it starts I usually walk around exploring the area or read something/check the net. I’ll wait for 15 minutes max if the meeting is important, then I’ll call the person. If they can’t be reached I’ll leave. I don’t need to mention that unless they have a very good reason for keeping me waiting, I’ll just never agree to meet then again.

Is there a meaning of life? In what? Is it the same for everybody?
Of course that is, everything in the world, no matter how small and irrelevant i may seem, has meaning, it’s all connected. The meaning of life itself is universal, but each personal can attribute a meaning to their individual existence if they so wish. Like what is their purpose/role in this scheme.

What should be done so people can be happy?
Universal happiness is actually quite easily achieved, it’s just that there is no interest in it’s implementation because the system runs on human misery and desperation. If people are told the truth and are allowed to be themselves in their most genuine form then there would be no causes for unhappiness. But for that to happen, the world must be purged of anything masquerading as human.

When you meet a stranger, what can you say about them right away? How do you know what this person is all about? Does it take long to understand someone's talents?
A lot of things: What kind of being they are and what kind of energy they posses (so speaking in plain terms, their very nature), are they entirely there, are they aware of their purpose in life...and of curse more superficial things anyone with eyes can see, like if they care about their presentation and if they are pleasing socially speaking etc.

I don’t know how I know these things I just do, I’ve always have I’m told. People who shouldn’t be here or whom are in severe need of cure/reform have caused very strong reactions in me my whole life. Sometimes my whole skin crawls and I can’t stand being in the same room as them, but usually I can keep my cool and just get it over with. I try not to get in contact with them ever again or at least not stay in their presence for long periods of time.

Remember an interesting person and call out 5-6 qualities you think are interesting in them. What makes an interesting person? Are you an interesting person? Why? What if someone calls you "boring" and "not interesting"?

1. Is artistically very talented even though people debate on this here where I live, since they think talent is something that should follow certain “rules”. It’s a ridiculous notion of course;

2. Is very brave in that he not only communicates his views on our society and his wishes for the future in his art, but he is a living embodiment of human self expression. I believe this is one of the reasons people are so drawn to him. Unfortunately he must do things that go against his nature too keep up appearances for now (and that costs him much sleep), but he does it for a higher purpose and longs for total freedom like me,

3. Is very pure even though his outward appearance and some of his past mistakes may not support this fact. In his heart he is a child, which makes me want to protect him since this kind of spirit at his age is so rare. He really just means well to everyone and is capable of gigantic unconditional love,

4. Is very generous both in work and in friendship, but also knows how to protect his interests and of those he cares for, he can juggle many things at once even it sometimes costs him a great deal psychologically,

5. Knows how to use his anger to fuel his visions and endeavours, when the world is against him his negative feelings of hurt, sadness and frustration turn into things that can inspire other people to forge their own path and challenge the system, he has also survived many controversies without losing face (and probably will again in the future),

6. Is however, very weak for love and in this area, he’s a walking disaster. Can’t let go of something that never really was what he idealized to be, and will never be even that again. I list this because to me is such a huge contradiction to his otherwise so independent and self reliant being.

What makes na interesting person is subjective, of course, though there are exceptions like the person I described, everyone thinks he’s interesting even if they hate him. Yes, I am for sure a very interesting person I can say with confidence, because I cause the same reaction on people. They might act as if they hate me, but then why are they so obsessed with me? Boring people are people who have nothing of interest to contribute to a conversation or nothing that makes you want to figure them out.

What opinions, from people who know you, seem: a) fair; b) not fair; c) hurtful; d) strange.
a) That I am complicated and difficult. I agree with the first part since I can’t make sense (explain or somehow classify) who I am myself. As for the second part I think they could think so because I go so against the norm so they can’t “deal” with me, which is true. I’m not a thing to be dealt with anyway.

b) That I live a charmed life and that is unfair that I receive special treatment where I work.

c) When they made rumours about me saying I did something horrible, when in reality not only this was a fabricated lie but also something I was a victim of myself once. This is the kind of unfairness that gets to me, being accused of acts I myself condene.

d) This is more based on their actions then words, but that I somehow send signals that I’m unaware of? After studying the Enneagram I think it might have to do with my instinctual variants, truth is it can freak me out sometimes though I’m mostly prepared for it now.

Do you fantasize? What kind of fantasies do you have?
All the time and specially to kill some time. They Always revolve around the same thing, my career future and how I want to impact the world with it, helping people free themselves from their shackles. I will sometimes play out revenge scenarios against people who have somehow offended me.

What qualities should a person have to be successful and why?
The question itself is problematic, since things are seldom what they “should” be, aren’t them? So many worthless people at the top of the pyramid prove it. The system is corrupt to its core so it’s useless to think about it.

What is more important in life – to be a good person or be a successful
Obviously to be a good person, success means nothing in the great scheme of things, it won’t save you by itself.

Is a good person always successful? If not, then why?
If their goodness is paired with intelligence then yes, they win the game of life. Because bad people will walk off stage with nothing, everything they did was in vain and only served to dig themselves a ditch they’ll rot in for all eternity.

I posted this on somewhere else and was advised to include it here. It's about my biggest weakness:

Biggest weakness: I'm addicted to information partaking my interests.

My inability to concentrate in one thing long enough online. I have a job that leaves with me many empty hours between activities, and since my coworkers are generally too tired to do anything with me, I go online. I actually have a plethora of interests so it doesn't bother me, problem is, I just can't seem to be productive. I'll read or watch something and midway I'll be reminded of something else, or see something be referenced in it that I don't know much about or haven't seen in awhile, so I'll open a tab to research it...infinitely. I'm like Alice falling down the rabbit hole, except I never land.

Soon three hours will have passed and I'll have 40 tabs open (no exaggeration), but won't have finished reading/watching what I was doing in the first place. Then I'll put in Pocket to read it later, or download it in case of it being a video/podcast. I have a folder named "NEW" in my computer, it's HUGE, the oldest stuff in there is six months old and it keeps on growing, because as soon as I watch three videos, I'll watch three more on Youtube and download others for later. I accidently deleted my bookmarks folder once and I was actually reviled, because it was stuffed with stuff I'd never have time to see. Ditto when my last computed died on me, I was happy to buy a new one and start anew but surprise, surprise, the cycle started again.

The things I read and watch all partain my interests and have relation to my work, I don't watch cute videos of babies and animals, funny ones with pranks and challenges or beauty tutorials. But even though the content might have quality and be worthwhile, it's my inability to stay focused on one thing at a time and limit what I consume that still makes it a waste of time. It happened earlier today. I was researching Chinese traditional music when I saw a TED talk in the related videos so I opened it on another tab, but 5 minutes into it the guy mentioned the Five Taoist Elements. So I went and took a couple assessments and got Fire in all, that led me into reading about Avatar's Fire Nation, which led me into the philosophical take on the elements through the ages. Then it was time for lunch, and I had completely forgotten about Chinese traditional music, until my trainer asked me about it.

That doesn't only happen because of something else catching my attention, though. It also happens because I'm a perfectionist, and I have the belief that you never can know enough. I'll want for something I'm working on to be perfect, so I'll waste time soaking up information about it during preparation mode, and subsequently putting off the actual finalization of the product so I can "perfect" it, according to new information I find on it. It makes me always finish in the nick of time, it's so stressful. The worst thing is when my teachers will say some variation of "There was no need to goo so deep, you wrote too much". It's like a slap in the face, I feel so foolish. My compulsion embarasses me in other ways, because I had people who spent time with me with say things like "Don't even mention it to her, or she'll become obsessed!!!" when someone was trying to introduce me to a subject.

It might seem like a silly thing for some, but I've been suffering with this for years, and I have many projects very important to me I have no hope in making a reality if I don't get a grip on this. Unfortunately going into therapy to solve this is impossible where I live and doing what I do, so I'll have to find a way out of this myself.


I hope I can get some input that at least points me to the right direction, questions are welcomed. And thank you for anyone who drops by with a constructive post