Emperor Enigma
Wandering...
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2013
- Messages
- 261
- Enneagram
- 3w4
I mainly rely on my instincts and my mood to make my decisions. While I value long-term thinking and planning, my inherent tendency is to be spontaneous. I do things according to how I feel at the present moment. This has resulted in many bad outcomes. For example, procrastination. I keep postponing my work until all of it piles up in a formidable heap and I get distressed. Because I care more about my present than the future. I have this tendency to see my future self as some responsible guy who gets shit done. I see my past self as an asshole lol. For example, preparing for an exam. In the morning, I don't feel like studying so I decide to study in the afternoon. In the afternoon, I try to convince myself that it won't harm to study, say, after lunch or something. After lunch, I persuade myself that it would be sufficient for me to study for only two hours or so. And so on. By the time it's time for me to sleep, I'm freaking out and cursing myself. That's the bad outcome. My tendency to prioritize the enjoyment of the immediate present jeopardizes my future. It's characteristic of me to impulsively do something which I eventually regret. I go along with the flow but all the same, I don't like adapting to the people around me. This may sound selfish, but I would probably resist or even react with hostility if someone tells me to do something I don't want to. I hate being told what to do because I want everything in life to be in harmony with what I want. Of course, I recognize this isn't always attainable. That's why I gravitate towards positions of power and control because I want to call the shots and not do something based on someone else's vision. I am very aware of my surroundings. Even as I type this, I occasionally pause to take note of anyone who enters my proximity. I don't want anyone to see what I'm writing because I don't like sharing this kind of stuff with even my friends, let alone strangers. I guess this is ironic because I'm asking you to evaluate my personality type. But I'm doing this willingly and I'm asking you to do this. I made this decision and that's why I feel comfortable doing this. I have kind of a sequential way of looking at life. What am I doing? Why am I doing this and not that? What should I do next? What should I do after I do this? You get the idea. In a way, I'm often thinking of what I'm gonna do in the immediate or near future. One thing about myself I've noticed is the effort I make into formulating plans and schedules. I feel comfortable when I do this. The most efficient way for you to get me to hate you is to barge into my room and start displacing the stuff there. Essentially, I want freedom.
I like it I wake up and know what I'm going to do throughout the day. Basically, I idealize efficiency. But I never really follow the very plans and schedules I make for myself. I feel great when I get shit done and accomplish stuff, when I feel like I have my life all figured out. Ultimately, I just do what gives me the most enjoyment and go with the flow, no matter how many plans I make. I remember on the last day of summer vacations, I was making an extremely detailed schedule because I wanted to improve my academic performance. I was particularly enthusiastic because of the whole "new beginning" thing. The next day, I "wasted" the whole day watching videos on YouTube. I just don't consider it a waste of time because I'm having fun. In life, I should either be having fun or doing something productive. I've observed that if I'm on a trip with my family, I want to know every detail of what it is we're going to do. I don't like surprises and unexpected events. I want to know exactly what it is I'm going to expect. I don't pursue new experience for the sake of it. I'm not going to try something just to see if I like it. I get anxious when I'm told to improvise or suddenly do something on the spot. I hate uncertainty. I've noticed that I tend to dread situations I have no experience in, even if it's as simple as visiting some place. I need to know what's going to happen.
I am very aware of the dynamics between me and my friends. I know exactly whom I can trust and whom I consider my friends. In a social situation, I often scrutinize how people relate to each other and how I relate to them. I try to see people for who they are. I also have these arbitrary standards for judging people. Like, if someone just acts a certain way and gives off this aura, I would dislike him. Likewise, I just know if there is a person I can see being a friend. I just have this gut feeling about people and I judge them based on it. My personal values and beliefs are also taken into account. I have this "my people" mentality. I can get very offended when someone accuses me of having bad company because not only are they insulting my friends, they are insulting my ability to judge people. I have this acute awareness of whom I want to hang out with and whom I want to avoid. My identity is important to me. As a kid, I was very concerned about not being one of the "bad guys". I build walls around myself. I can get hostile if someone encroaches on my personal space and asks too many questions about my interests or me. I'm very guarded about my interests and don't like it when people ask about them. I hold off on expressing strong opinions if they jeopardize my relationship with my friends. I'm socially anxious, not socially awkward. I know how the game of socialization works, doesn't mean I have to like it.
I won't really consider myself adept in logical arguments. I actually struggle with logical reasoning and stuff, but I'm proficient at objective logic, like common sense or how a certain event follows another. Like CinemaSins. I do this quite a lot when I watch movies, actually. Realism is important to me. When I got into Bloodborne, I created a character that was consistent with my vision and the setting or atmosphere of the game. I won't do something ridiculous like create Oprah Winfrey or The Joker. However, someone like Guts from Berserk is okay because he fits in. Likewise, I won't have Batman fight John Cena in a WWE game because it makes no sense and simply ruins the experience. I want to be immersed. I want to believe in what's happening.
I don't like speculation and intellectualism. I exist in the realm of reality. I don't care why the sky is blue unless it affects me. I also don't care about someone else telling me the meaning of life. Life is something you discover for yourself. Humanity progressed because man went out and discovered fire, not because he ruminated on its meaning in a cave.
I am more interested in fields like sociology and anthropology than physics and chemistry. However, I'm primarily interested in the creative arts. I like expressing myself through creative endeavors. Make a movie. Design a game. Write a novel. Record a song. Animate. Draw a manga. You get the idea. I can get obsessed with anything. If I'm not obsessing over something, it probably doesn't interest me. Of course, I can be very fickle when it comes to this. I might get extremely interested in astronomy for a short period of time after watching Interstellar or something, maybe even declaring it as my college major. A few hours later? Meh. This also applies to MBTI. I'm not indecisive. I just get bored. Suddenly, say, ISTJ looks more appealing than my current typing. Let's play with it and abandon it when I get bored again.
I like it I wake up and know what I'm going to do throughout the day. Basically, I idealize efficiency. But I never really follow the very plans and schedules I make for myself. I feel great when I get shit done and accomplish stuff, when I feel like I have my life all figured out. Ultimately, I just do what gives me the most enjoyment and go with the flow, no matter how many plans I make. I remember on the last day of summer vacations, I was making an extremely detailed schedule because I wanted to improve my academic performance. I was particularly enthusiastic because of the whole "new beginning" thing. The next day, I "wasted" the whole day watching videos on YouTube. I just don't consider it a waste of time because I'm having fun. In life, I should either be having fun or doing something productive. I've observed that if I'm on a trip with my family, I want to know every detail of what it is we're going to do. I don't like surprises and unexpected events. I want to know exactly what it is I'm going to expect. I don't pursue new experience for the sake of it. I'm not going to try something just to see if I like it. I get anxious when I'm told to improvise or suddenly do something on the spot. I hate uncertainty. I've noticed that I tend to dread situations I have no experience in, even if it's as simple as visiting some place. I need to know what's going to happen.
I am very aware of the dynamics between me and my friends. I know exactly whom I can trust and whom I consider my friends. In a social situation, I often scrutinize how people relate to each other and how I relate to them. I try to see people for who they are. I also have these arbitrary standards for judging people. Like, if someone just acts a certain way and gives off this aura, I would dislike him. Likewise, I just know if there is a person I can see being a friend. I just have this gut feeling about people and I judge them based on it. My personal values and beliefs are also taken into account. I have this "my people" mentality. I can get very offended when someone accuses me of having bad company because not only are they insulting my friends, they are insulting my ability to judge people. I have this acute awareness of whom I want to hang out with and whom I want to avoid. My identity is important to me. As a kid, I was very concerned about not being one of the "bad guys". I build walls around myself. I can get hostile if someone encroaches on my personal space and asks too many questions about my interests or me. I'm very guarded about my interests and don't like it when people ask about them. I hold off on expressing strong opinions if they jeopardize my relationship with my friends. I'm socially anxious, not socially awkward. I know how the game of socialization works, doesn't mean I have to like it.
I won't really consider myself adept in logical arguments. I actually struggle with logical reasoning and stuff, but I'm proficient at objective logic, like common sense or how a certain event follows another. Like CinemaSins. I do this quite a lot when I watch movies, actually. Realism is important to me. When I got into Bloodborne, I created a character that was consistent with my vision and the setting or atmosphere of the game. I won't do something ridiculous like create Oprah Winfrey or The Joker. However, someone like Guts from Berserk is okay because he fits in. Likewise, I won't have Batman fight John Cena in a WWE game because it makes no sense and simply ruins the experience. I want to be immersed. I want to believe in what's happening.
I don't like speculation and intellectualism. I exist in the realm of reality. I don't care why the sky is blue unless it affects me. I also don't care about someone else telling me the meaning of life. Life is something you discover for yourself. Humanity progressed because man went out and discovered fire, not because he ruminated on its meaning in a cave.
I am more interested in fields like sociology and anthropology than physics and chemistry. However, I'm primarily interested in the creative arts. I like expressing myself through creative endeavors. Make a movie. Design a game. Write a novel. Record a song. Animate. Draw a manga. You get the idea. I can get obsessed with anything. If I'm not obsessing over something, it probably doesn't interest me. Of course, I can be very fickle when it comes to this. I might get extremely interested in astronomy for a short period of time after watching Interstellar or something, maybe even declaring it as my college major. A few hours later? Meh. This also applies to MBTI. I'm not indecisive. I just get bored. Suddenly, say, ISTJ looks more appealing than my current typing. Let's play with it and abandon it when I get bored again.
