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Socionics - Do you recognize your dual when you encounter them?

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Thankyou, [MENTION=20044]chubber[/MENTION]

How can anyone recognise their dual unless they know Socionics? Now I know what an SEI is when I see one but that's because I actually know Socionics and have been practising my identification skills for a while.

Nevertheless, people without an understanding of socionics do find themselves attracted to things that stimulate their Suggestive function. As such you can be drawn to someone without consciously deciding to pursue them.

Often people find themselves attracted to the qualities of what would be their dual but this can sometimes mean that a person will become attracted to their Conflictor (Quasi-identicals have similar qualities) and be heavily disappointed by this attraction.

At the same time, Extroverts might not even notice the people who would be their Introverted duals because they're busy doing so much other stuff.
 

valaki

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The duality relationship in Socionics is probably the most talked about and supposedly the strongest one.

"Meeting a dual, interacting with your dual, positive self-realization in a relationship knowing your dual (dualization), duality is the relationship of complete mutual complement…" (Read more here)


Do you feel that instant pull, that supposed connection when you meet someone who is your dual and what is it like? How do you know for sure? What is the dual connection about for you?

I did feel instant pull before but the person was a T type. Supposedly I have a T preference too. I never tried to get closer to them because I was aware it would not be fulfilling. At least not easily. It would be nice to have a real friendship with them though. Maybe it just takes time because otherwise we get along very well. She definitely is very strong T type and strong introvert so possibly Ti for strongest function. In MBTI, she tests as INTJ, sometimes INTP, ISTJ once. Socionics I don't know, LSI/ISTj or ILI/INTp?

There was another person who's an F type and I didn't really notice her first. She sought out the chance to talk to me instead. After a few days I started warming up. That was the best friendship I ever had. Until she decided she had a problem. Maybe this one was a dual. She tested as INFP in MBTI. Socionics I don't know, some F, NF probably, IEE/ENFp, IEI/INFp and EIE/ENFj all came to mind but I thought of SEE/ESFp as well lol.

As for love relationships, god no idea... haven't experienced anything like that with guys. Some guys did experience it with me though, thinking I was their ideal or whatever the reason for their inexplicable attraction to me. One such guy F type, tested ISFP then ISFJ in MBTI, I think ESI for socionics but at least some Se/Ni and F type for sure. Another guy didn't take MBTI, so dunno, I always think of him as some F type though, MBTI ISFP but I'm actually thinking of SEE/ESFp in socionics, though I really am not sure? One more guy comes to mind, a very strong T type, socially introverted, LSI/ISTj or LIE/ENTj in socionics, yea I can't ever tell these types apart it seems lol.

I am typed xLE so far for socionics by [MENTION=5759]edchidna1000[/MENTION] :p I myself am looking at the T types of Se/Ni quadras except for ILI/INTp. In MBTI I'm somewhere between ISTP and ENTJ.

Well hope this gives you some data points eh.
 

valaki

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Oh and instant pull (the T type girl), it was because something about the person was unconsciously making me feel like we had a lot in common! On a closer look we are not all that extremely similar down to the smallest details of course, but many of our issues are strangely similar. Not all of them though. And communication style, kind of similar too. Actually scary - Soo... I sometimes feel like she's a more extreme version of me. Maybe that's Mirror or Identical and not Dual, but oh well. This is where I felt "instant pull" so I am describing this one.


The F girl, our communication style has some things in common but is not the same in a such scary way. Hers is a lot more disorganized and "feeler-y" yeah. But I dunno, I just never had to explain exactly what I meant and I don't remember if she had any problem with me understanding her. I think I understood her well on a level. She also told someone else that if she had a question, I explained it well to her, while that other person (a friend of hers) didn't. Basically she said I was able to explain in a straightforward way, instead of BS'ing, if I recall right. Maybe that's the dual but no instant pull there as OP mentioned. It was more slowly developing. I got interested first when I noticed we liked the same kinds of books. I was then tolerating her really extremely disorganized style more :) (Which initially was a bit off-putting tbh. But no real problem afterwards)
 

skylights

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Nah, not really. I think SLIs are generally pleasing to interact with, and for the most part I easily understand their logic and appreciate their hearts. But I don't feel all the magical thingys. I usually am more drawn to Ethicals/FJ types.
 

rogue350

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I have never really searched for an ISFp (SEI) but some of the descriptions have me worried. I want a woman that is strong, independent, opinionated and fiery. I don't want a peacemaker. I know that a peacemaker might be good for me but I want a fire starter! There are certain aspects that seem interesting and I would love to have an instantaneous attraction to someone and have a strong pull towards that person but I don't want to think illogically or be fueled by emotion.
 
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I have never really searched for an ISFp (SEI) but some of the descriptions have me worried. I want a woman that is strong, independent, opinionated and fiery. I don't want a peacemaker. I know that a peacemaker might be good for me but I want a fire starter! There are certain aspects that seem interesting and I would love to have an instantaneous attraction to someone and have a strong pull towards that person but I don't want to think illogically or be fueled by emotion.

Are you an ILE in Socionics?
 

rogue350

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Yeah, I have taken tests for both MBTI and Socionics and get the same result. I've also looked at descriptions for both and they seem to describe me well. I was looking at some SEI celebrities and I changed my mind. I guess their description can be deceiving. It makes them sound unmotivated and too concerned with making peace with people but they aren't all like that.
Wow! I have actually been attracted to quite a number of ISFp celebrities and fictional characters from TV shows and stuff.
 

Azure Flame

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SLE here. my dual is claire forlani, so yes. strongest bond evar.

What I've come to realize is, that if you cannot handle this kind of music playing 24/7 almost every day, we probably aren't going to get along. For this reason THE ONLY TYPES I AM WILLING TO DATE are SEE, EIE, IEI, and possibly LSI. I'd go for ENTj's but there is something unulfilling and empty about being with them. I'm a little too high energy for many, and on the 7th day I rest.


IEI's are great because they don't know what they want in life, so they just follow me in my impulses, and they start fights for me at bars and get me into unnecessary drama. They also hold my place in positions of leadership, with just as much authority and gusto. And when this fighter jet is done flying, I can collapse on their lap with exhaustion and not feel threatened.

There are also a great number of IEI's who I think are fucking worthless pussies who drive me nuts.
 

valaki

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SLE here. my dual is claire forlani, so yes. strongest bond evar.

What I've come to realize is, that if you cannot handle this kind of music playing 24/7 almost every day, we probably aren't going to get along. For this reason THE ONLY TYPES I AM WILLING TO DATE are SEE, EIE, IEI, and possibly LSI. I'd go for ENTj's but there is something unulfilling and empty about being with them.

Interesting, I also like SEE / EIE.

kindred / activator right?


I'm a little too high energy for many, and on the 7th day I rest.

Lool never hurts to have a tiny little bit of a god complex

(It's a joke, don't worry now)


IEI's are great because they don't know what they want in life, so they just follow me in my impulses, and they start fights for me at bars and get me into unnecessary drama. They also hold my place in positions of leadership, with just as much authority and gusto. And when this fighter jet is done flying, I can collapse on their lap with exhaustion and not feel threatened.

There are also a great number of IEI's who I think are fucking worthless pussies who drive me nuts.

How many IEIs did you go out with? It actually sounds so simple, you're making me interested in IEI! :p

Though yes that passivity seems to have its drawbacks as well.
 

Azure Flame

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Interesting, I also like SEE / EIE.

kindred / activator right?




Lool never hurts to have a tiny little bit of a god complex

(It's a joke, don't worry now)




How many IEIs did you go out with? It actually sounds so simple, you're making me interested in IEI! :p

Though yes that passivity seems to have its drawbacks as well.

:D

Are you SLE?

Every IEI I've "dated" only lasted a few weeks or so because my life wasn't in order and I tend to push people away when I'm not able to take care of myself, despite how much they want to "support" me.

IEI's put up a big test they want you to pass. It usually comes in the form of hard to get in such a way that it will take a tremendous amount of effort to accomplish. Its like putting $20,000 on the top of a mountain and telling you to "come and get it if you can!" But they also tend to do this throughout the relationship, which is something I really like. When they are healthy they won't always be there for you every second you need to be coddled. They can pick me up, dust me off and send me back out into the world. Sort of a power behind the throne thing.

They also like to stirr shit up and create drama. I like chaos, so it works out well for me.

Usually problems occur when their lifestyle is too passive, and they don't do anything to control the direction their life takes. These IEI's are usually very uninteresting to me.

I've learned that enneagram and instinctual variant plays a HUGE role in who I find attractive. I'm one of the most intense flavors of SLE, so I search for the most intense flavor of IEI as well. I've found that I often bring out their fighting side, and they bring out my compassionate side. I find some of them to be paralyzingly adorable, and I can't help but feel warm and fuzzy looking at them. But this is only something I can really do for a short period of time, and the two of us eventually start to reach equillibrium.

Here are a couple of videos that show off their more dominant-yet-submissive characteristics, IEI's claire forlani and fiona apple. I suspect claire forlani is a 4 and fiona is a 6.

 

Azure Flame

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oh, to answer the question, I recognize my duals all the time... if they are Sx dom.

Otherwise, I had to get past a mental block to realize how incredible they are because they satisfy needs I didn't know I had.
 
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Yeah, I have taken tests for both MBTI and Socionics and get the same result. I've also looked at descriptions for both and they seem to describe me well. I was looking at some SEI celebrities and I changed my mind. I guess their description can be deceiving. It makes them sound unmotivated and too concerned with making peace with people but they aren't all like that.
Wow! I have actually been attracted to quite a number of ISFp celebrities and fictional characters from TV shows and stuff.

I kinda like that about them. They improve my physical and emotional wellbeing :)
 

valaki

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:D

Are you SLE?

Apparently yes.


IEI's put up a big test they want you to pass. It usually comes in the form of hard to get in such a way that it will take a tremendous amount of effort to accomplish. Its like putting $20,000 on the top of a mountain and telling you to "come and get it if you can!"

Well I suppose it might be true for female IEIs. I wouldn't know about the male ones.


But they also tend to do this throughout the relationship, which is something I really like. When they are healthy they won't always be there for you every second you need to be coddled.

Well I don't actually have a need to be babied like that if that's what you meant. But when you say they won't always be there, do you mean they prefer to be doing their own thing?


Usually problems occur when their lifestyle is too passive, and they don't do anything to control the direction their life takes. These IEI's are usually very uninteresting to me.

Yeah, I knew someone like that and that was a big problem.


I've learned that enneagram and instinctual variant plays a HUGE role in who I find attractive. I'm one of the most intense flavors of SLE, so I search for the most intense flavor of IEI as well. I've found that I often bring out their fighting side, and they bring out my compassionate side. I find some of them to be paralyzingly adorable, and I can't help but feel warm and fuzzy looking at them. But this is only something I can really do for a short period of time, and the two of us eventually start to reach equillibrium.

Said equilibrium has you without feelings? Sorry it just was a bit unclear.
 

Galena

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Yes, but it's the same whether they're ENTP or ESTP.
 

Dr Mobius

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Yes, but it's the same whether they're ENTP or ESTP.

Stop being greedy; that is the sort of thinking that makes duality start to look like a ridiculous idea :newwink:! SLE is your dual, as for ILE your mirage, you are only allowed to feel a sort of mild dismissive indifference!
 

Typh0n

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Stop being greedy; that is the sort of thinking that makes duality start to look like a ridiculous idea :newwink:! SLE is your dual, as for ILE your mirage, you are only allowed to feel a sort of mild dismissive indifference!

Dismissive indifference? That does not compute!

Anyways, no theres nothing inherently special about meeting a dual, unless they happen to be special. People aerent special because socionics says so, if they were what need would we have for socionists in our society?
 

Dr Mobius

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Dismissive indifference? That does not compute!

Anyways, no theres nothing inherently special about meeting a dual, unless they happen to be special. People aerent special because socionics says so, if they were what need would we have for socionists in our society?

A misunderstanding :); it would appear that I need to start stating that I’m joking in subtext on this forum. I was satirising the habits of certain socionics users to dismiss relationships that aren’t duality or activity, and to a lesser degree mirror. I find the idea that people need to justify attraction to outer Quadra relationships, usually by retyping, amusing.
 

Typh0n

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A misunderstanding :); it would appear that I need to start stating that I’m joking in subtext on this forum.

LOL you are ILE? I know a guy who is ILE. He told me his fiancé told him that whenever he makes a joke, he needs to remind others that he is indeed joking. This reminds me of that.

I was satirising the habits of certain socionics users to dismiss relationships that aren’t duality or activity, and to a lesser degree mirror. I find the idea that people need to justify attraction to outer Quadra relationships, usually by retyping, amusing.

And ironic!
 
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