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  1. #11
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    I'm fairly certain that my Mom is ESFJ 6w7 and my Dad is ISTP 5w6. Then I'm an ENFP 6w7. We are all rather different from each other in our patterns of thinking and sonetimes way of viewing the world, but our 6 qualities make us similar.

  2. #12
    Senior Member misfortuneteller's Avatar
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    @brainheart You poor thing. Although 4s do have a link to 1 so mabye it wouldn't be a nightmare for you to have two 1 parents as it would be for me.
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  3. #13
    Senior Member misfortuneteller's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LucieCat View Post
    I'm fairly certain that my Mom is ESFJ 6w7
    I'm curious to what your 6w7 ESFJ mum is like. My mum is a 2w3 ESFJ with a fairly strong link to 8.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by misfortuneteller View Post
    I'm curious to what your 6w7 ESFJ mum is like. My mum is a 2w3 ESFJ with a fairly strong link to 8.
    She's very warm, upbeat, and friendly to others. She's the kind of person that makes friends easily and can seemingly talk to anyone for hours on end. She also has a great deal of Fe, she's good at reading people and gauging group dynamics and what is socially acceptable. Though I think this is all typical of ESFJs in general.

    She's very duty driven and has a strong work ethic. She's most comfortable sticking with what's safe and secure and seeks stability.

    She also overcompensates quite a bit. I think this is part of the 6 anxiety that causes it. A lot of the anxiety is deeply unconscious. She can often be extremely paranoid, often double checking everything (she definitely has some minor OCD characteristics although she has never been officially diagnosed, and as it doesn't negatively impact her life, I don't know if she warrants a diagnosis). She is also fiercely protective of those she is close to, and is extremely preoccupied with their safety and security. She doubts her own competence at times as well, and often isn't sure if she's done something correctly.

    My mom also has extremely well integrated Si. I can't think of a time where I've noticed her looping Fe-Ne. Her tertiary Ne characteristics are present (and I think correlate with her 7 wing), but they are a supplement to the auxiliary (as tertiary functions should be). This has occasionally created tension between us as Si is my inferior, and I think we baffle each other sometimes because of it.

    I find that 6 and 2 ESFJs can seem a bit similar, but I think their motivations are different. A 6 is more likely to seek out others for a support system one which to rely on (which fits my mom really well). 2s are searching more for external validation and love. While my mom probably has 2 in her tritype, her main fears do not revolve around being unloved and disliked. If people like her, they do and if they don't, they don't. That's the attitude she largely takes, and it definitely doesn't preoccupy her thoughts to a great degree.

  5. #15
    Junior Member punkermit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LaraFerox View Post
    Anyways, my mom is a 6w7 Sp/So and in non-enneagram factors is very like us in interests and cares and attitudes and stuff (and we all share the same cognitive functions), but the motivating framework and what she freaks out about is SO different that we both ganged up on her a lot as I was growing up. They split when I was a toddler and maintained an excellent working relationship but I definitely was always on my dad's side and she knew it.
    This is super interesting @LaraFerox! Can you elaborate a little how your dad and you ganged up on your mom? How's the relationship now between you and your mom? I imagine it must be very difficult to make a 6w7 sp/so (a very common type) understand you.

  6. #16
    Junior Member punkermit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LucieCat View Post
    I'm fairly certain that my Mom is ESFJ 6w7 and my Dad is ISTP 5w6. Then I'm an ENFP 6w7. We are all rather different from each other in our patterns of thinking and sonetimes way of viewing the world, but our 6 qualities make us similar.
    Are we half sisters?

    My mom is ESFJ 6w7 so/sx and dad is INTJ 5wb sp/sx (He literally has no social sense, whatsoever, lol). If it wasn't for my mom, he would have had a very difficult time navigating this world, something I didn't appreciate from my mom enough when I was younger.

  7. #17
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    My mom is an ENFP but very different than me. I see a lot of 6, 7, and 9 in her. No one in my family is 4-influenced. I have no idea about my father's type, he passed many years ago and wasn't present during my childhood after age 5, but sometimes I get the impression that my personality reminds my mom of my father, and possibly not in great ways (I'm pretty contra, haha).
    dead·pan
    /ˈded,pan/
    adjective: deliberately impassive or expressionless.

    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯



  8. #18
    Black Iris magnetica's Avatar
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    Yes. My father was a core 8 with a 3, with 7 as a wing.
    "The pansy at my feet
    Doth the same tale repeat:
    Whither is fled the visionary gleam?
    Where is it now, the glory and the dream?"



    ex Glados.

  9. #19
    People Order Our Patties The Tsarevich's Avatar
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    Yeah, my mother and step-father are both 9s. I don't think this is an uncommon pairing.

    I do find it a little sad though. These are people who tamped me down my whole life--with a certain stifling type of minimization that SOME 9s do. Like, they had this conception of this 1950s-ish Leave It to Beaver type of "Happy Family", where the kids always said good morning with big smiles on their faces and always happily went to church in their Sunday best. Also, we apparently weren't allowed to grow past the age of 8 or be teenagers. And even though I didn't get along with my stepfather and was being hideously abused at school, my mother would insist "we're so happy!" and leave it at that, when my father would call.

    They'd compliment me with what they wanted me to be--quiet, complacent, intelligent, idealistic, etc. but never mentioned any of my true qualities, eg, being passionate, straight-forward, whatever, so that I grew up with this majorly fucked up self-image and without knowing my own potentials and capabilities. I had to spend a decade in the real world to realize this. They brainwashed me essentially, and I would be surprised if this were common with double-type parents...they'd instil their values with no serious alternatives.

    It was like...idk, it honestly reminds me of the time I spent in China, where there's this emphasis on "WE ARE A HARMONIOUS SOCIETY" meaning that any dissent or differences are squashed and people are made of rubber. So it's not harmonious, it's just stifled, with deep resentments and lots of frustration and apathy. I never learned conflict resolution--my sister and I weren't even allowed to bicker without serious ramifications--and to this day I'm always sure that if I ever argue with a friend, I'm going to be permanently rejected thereafter.

    Anyway, they're reaching old age now, and I swear they're happy tucked away in their little house just waiting for death. They don't want to deal with me anymore and have successfully cut me out of their life while still keeping up their old pretense of being caring parents. My mother still lives back in the early 2000s where I'm a star student instead of a failure at life, and my stepfather still lives back in some constructed version of the 1990s, where my sister and I are sweet innocent Jesusy lil kids. They're essentially unable to face reality. They don't do anything...my mother takes care of daily life as she has every day since she was born, and my stepfather goes to work, comes home, moans about how he can't wait to retire, and lies there like a slug in front of the TV. Neither of them realizes there's so much more to life than this, because they're both satisfied with mediocre complacency.

    I assume my future holds nothing good, but come what may, I hope I might never become like this.

    Well. I mean, I didn't really log into TypoC today to bitch about my parents. Sorry for that. I'm sure a lot of people would find their lifestyle admirable, just their values and mine aren't really concordant, and I find them both stifling and depressing. I'm only just coming to terms with the ways they fucked me up just by being themselves lol (a reason I'm not having kids).

    I feel like you do tend to get issues with a double-type partnership where the dynamic just sort of intensifies and creates its own alternate reality throughout the entire household. My parents are just one example.
    Formerly known as Sanjuro.
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