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  1. #21

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    I want the sexy conflicted nature of the sx/sp. All I have is this sp/sx boundary thing.

  2. #22
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    It's really not that fun



  3. #23
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    It's really not that fun
    Yes, it's like wanting chocolate you can never have.
    (or even when you get it, you know eating it will just make you fat.)
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

  4. #24
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Yes, it's like wanting chocolate you can never have.
    (or even when you get it, you know eating it will just make you fat.)
    I do this literally with food all the time. But I know the metaphoric implication you're trying to get across, that happens to me ALL the time relationships wise. My sx wants it, but my sp whips me because I know it would be bad or wouldn't work, then I'm disappointed.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  5. #25
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    Default Conflicted?

    Sp's take on and want to secure small amounts of people as an extension of their self-preservation reservoir, while Sx wants to connect with it as deeply as possible. So we want secure, deeply intimate connections with a small handful. What is lacking as So-blinds is a sense of identity, connection, as well as a drive to connect within large group/ greater world settings. One can't take interest in something you don't personally consciously experience, right? That conflicted withdraw-reemerge is over the fact that Sx wants to find meaning, so it needs to know itself deeply, but then also wants to merge with others with that same depth and intensity. Sp is also a pretty withdrawn instinct, like an animal hoarding and obsessively guarding a pile of food. My theory is that the more consistently we're able to fulfill our basic needs there in terms of connection and security, the more we'll grow and the psychologically healthier we'll be.

    Right now as a Sx/Sp i'm in the stage of realizing and coming to understand the existence of So, while also accepting that it's not ever going to be my strength. I struggled with a lot of confusion and shame over this, growing up with a So/Sp parent who found my lack of So very disturbing. Now i'm trying to unlearn that shame. I don't know if it's a healthy strategy or not, but i'm thinking of myself as the ultimate small group caretaker, and forming close bonds with So/Sx's to open up my social realm in a reasonable, non-threatening way. They don't seem to mind my So-blindness and love to help me out, and the Sx connection is mutually beneficial.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    I do this literally with food all the time. But I know the metaphoric implication you're trying to get across, that happens to me ALL the time relationships wise. My sx wants it, but my sp whips me because I know it would be bad or wouldn't work, then I'm disappointed.
    YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS

    It's the WORST! As a dominant 7 Sx I used to be like "naaaaaah we can just force this to work with THE POWER OF LOVE". Finally I've been burned enough to know better Nowadays I run into people a fair amount who are close to (meet many criteria) but just not quite the right type of match I need (lack 1-2 very important things), and it drives me insane.

  7. #27
    mafia in the morning silverknightgothic's Avatar
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    I am conflicted in some ways, but in others, my variants work pretty well together.

    I don't care (or I try not to) about most people's opinions, but I will take the opinions of those with whom I have deeply connected very seriously, to the point where they have way too much of an impact on my being, whether I like it or not. I am headstrong and generally march to the beat of my own drum, and very individualistic. That's what I believe I want to be deep down, but naturally I am too affected by what the people I care about most want or need. I've been having trouble balancing my priorities in making decision, and whenever I choose something on my own but hear even the slight bit of hesitation from a trusted source, I find it impossible to have confidence in my choice.

    Honestly, however, I really hate being alone. Whenever I am depressed, I am compelled to withdraw, but it doesn't work out for me. I end up spiraling deeper and deeper into loneliness whenever I take part in that defense mechanism. But what I hate even more is being in a large group, or having to hang around people I don't care about. At that point, I'd much rather be alone. Also, I really hate "shallow" conversations, even if I can partake in them fine. They just seem like a waste of time and I want something deeper.

    Ideally, I'd spend all my time with one person who means a lot to me. I'm very consistent about that, and those who know me best know that I can be a bit of an attention-seeker around them. I probably have a problem with being too clingy or needy, but I am working on it. I think I'm decent at hiding that side of me as I try to seem all independent.
    나는 빛이자 어둠이 되고
    거짓도 진실도 될 수가 있어


    Silent All These Years: My Private Blog
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    Likes Luminous liked this post

  8. #28
    ϚᗩᑎᑕTᑌᗩᖇY Luminous's Avatar
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    I can see what is being described as a conflict in myself very clearly. I can be very guarded about some things with many people. But with the right people, I can be quite open. And with the right person, I want to forsake all boundaries and drown in the wave, flow into them, be swallowed and consumed.

    I'm 9sx, the most boundaryless. That along with the 5 in my tritype I think makes me more stubborn when it comes to certain things because I don't entirely want to give up everything, and I do march to my own drum. I protect myself by not sharing too much vulnerability with most, but I crave to lose myself in a coupling with a special person.
    Be e..x..c..e..l..l..e..n..t to each other.
    Likes silverknightgothic, fatgurl liked this post

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