What are You Feeling Right Now II: This Time, It's Personal.

[Peter Deadpan]

I'm sitting here thinking about how the first thing I'm going to do when winter is over is get out into the woods and build my first survival shelter. I'm imagining it, feeling genuinely good that I have something to look forward to... some new skill I can work on that helps me feel like I'm getting away from the mundanity of this life. And then I remember that I live in the heart of tick country and that lyme disease doesn't sound like a fair fucking trade-off for a romanticized day lying on the forest floor.

Why can't I ever have a single fucking thing that I want? I barely ask for anything as it is.

[xenaprincess]

Death by 1,000 teeny, tiny, cuts.

[Red Memories]

I'm sitting here thinking about how the first thing I'm going to do when winter is over is get out into the woods and build my first survival shelter. I'm imagining it, feeling genuinely good that I have something to look forward to... some new skill I can work on that helps me feel like I'm getting away from the mundanity of this life. And then I remember that I live in the heart of tick country and that lyme disease doesn't sound like a fair fucking trade-off for a romanticized day lying on the forest floor.

Why can't I ever have a single fucking thing that I want? I barely ask for anything as it is.

- - - Updated - - -

I think when you set a boundary with someone via text, they should be required to promptly text you back so you don't just sit there quietly losing your mind for several hours!! This is to say I am anxious!

(I am distracting myself with good TV, but still!)

I am always like omg at least yell at me its better than silence.

[permanent_temp]

Is there any other kind?

I love this. You're cool.

-----------------

I met another woman around the same age as me, who experienced close to the exact same thing I did with my ex, also within the last year. We helped eachother, and it felt incredible. I'm not saying I'm 'fixed' because I don't think I will ever fully be; if I forget the hurt, I think I'd be more likely to experience it again. But for once I didn't feel alone in all the anger and sadness I've been carrying since it happened. I'm so fucking grateful I could cry.