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  1. #1
    โœง Luminous's Avatar
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    Default Hypothetical Motivation Scenario

    Someone you care about is upset about something, but doesn't want to talk about it.
    What would you do and why?

    If you would press them, why?
    If you'd not do anything, why? Please elaborate in detail.

    Now say you already knew what the problem was, and you knew a way to fix it without the person knowing you did anything.
    Would you do it?
    What if you knew they wouldn't want you to interfere (but they'd never know you did)?

    Please state your enneagram type. And remember that it's the motivation that is the most important thing here-the motivation behind what you would actually do, and not necessarily what you think would be best to do.

  2. #2
    Bismouths lil Munchkin Amethyst Archon's Avatar
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    I am a triple postive with strong infulences from all 3 fixes but for this lets go with 7w6 . Id let them know that i cared about them and that its okay to cone to me but id not press them as I dont feel its the right thing to do and id hate it if soneone pressed me so Golden rule I suppose. I just domt want to cause upset or distress for the other person plus i beleive generally people prefer to have a option be there than have it forced on them.

    Hmmm if i knew a way to solve what was troublimg them id probably just do it tbh but id still tell them.as i feel they deserve to know the truth and its like id wamt to.do somethimg just so i can feel i lifted a weight off their shoulders.its like whats the harm if the problem is solved and no other issues are caused. However if i knew it would really upset tbe other person if i took action id probably end up doing nothing tbh as i feel icky being sneaky :P.
    9w1 7w6 2w3 Pisces Sun-Libra Moon-Libra Rising



    ๐Ÿ’ŽMy Beautiful Bismuth๐Ÿ’Ž
    You are my treasured sweet little daisy, my Queen and most importantly of all my best friend in the whole wide world. I love you so much!
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  3. #3
    Amethyst's Queen โ™š Bismuth Blitz's Avatar
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    E9.

    I wouldn't press them. I might get a hunch about what they're feeling and ask them, but outside of them I wouldn't try to make them talk. Those are their private feelings, and personally I don't want my private feelings choked out of me. I don't like to intrude on people. Usually I'll try to move on to a lighter subject or suggest to do someone fun with them, but later I'd check in on them and see how they're feeling then. I think if I see it getting worse I'd pry more, but I'd be worried about overwhelming them with too many questions.

    Fixing problems, even though they won't know I did anything, I still feel like I was intruding on them and feel guilty afterwards. I think it definitely depends on the scenario, but I'm imagining something like, my friend having troubles with another friend. The friend magically is on good terms with my friend again, and so then my friend is like, "Are you plotting on me?" with the other friend. It's like magically everything is solved but there's an awkwardness in the air. At least, that's how I'd picture it for me. But say they needed money or something. If I could make it magically appear for them, that would be awesome.
    ๐™‡๐™ž๐™จ๐™ฉ๐™š๐™ฃ ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช๐™ง ๐™๐™š๐™–๐™ง๐™ฉ, ๐™ก๐™ž๐™จ๐™ฉ๐™š๐™ฃ ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™ง๐™–๐™ž๐™ฃ
    ๐™‡๐™ž๐™จ๐™ฉ๐™š๐™ฃ ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™ซ๐™ค๐™ž๐™˜๐™š๐™จ ๐™ž๐™ฃ ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช๐™ง ๐™—๐™ง๐™–๐™ž๐™ฃ
    ๐˜พ๐™ค๐™ข๐™š ๐™ค๐™ฃ ๐™œ๐™ช๐™ฎ๐™จ, ๐™ก๐™š๐™ฉ'๐™จ ๐™œ๐™š๐™ฉ ๐™˜๐™ง๐™š๐™–๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ซ๐™š!


    โœค๐”ธ๐•ž๐•–๐•ฅ๐•™๐•ช๐•ค๐•ฅ ๐”ธ๐•ฃ๐•”๐•™๐• ๐•Ÿ, ๐•ช๐• ๐•ฆ ๐•’๐•ฃ๐•– ๐•ฅ๐•™๐•– ๐•—๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•–๐•ค๐•ฅ ๐•›๐•–๐•จ๐•–๐• ๐•š๐•Ÿ ๐•’๐•๐• ๐•ฅ๐•™๐•– ๐•๐•’๐•Ÿ๐••, ๐•’ ๐•™๐•š๐••๐••๐•–๐•Ÿ ๐•ฅ๐•ฃ๐•–๐•’๐•ค๐•ฆ๐•ฃ๐•–. ๐•€ ๐•๐• ๐•ง๐•– ๐•ช๐• ๐•ฆ ๐•ค๐•  ๐•ž๐•ฆ๐•”๐•™ ๐•“๐•–๐•ค๐•ฅ๐•š๐•–โœค
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  4. #4
    ใ‚ปใ‚คใƒ‡ใƒณใ‚ญ Earl Grey's Avatar
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    5w4 sp/so, double competency (in overly simplified mundanespeak: emotion-ignoring)

    I tend to pretty much take people at their word, and tend to focus on the issue / the 'what needs to be done?' part. The 'upset' part of the equation won't register much. As a result, I probably wouldn't say/do anything if I see that I can't do anything- while forgetting that the emotional component exists, i.e: forgetting that other forms of help, such as emotional support can be done- even simple things like "Do you need company?" "Do you want to talk?" "I care about you." When I get told that the person doesn't want to talk about it, I just go 'okay', and the thought process / assumption tends to be something along the lines of; "They must have a handle on it already." as a result, I wouldn't press, simply because I would not perceive any reason to press at all (in other words, if I do, I probably would, provided I could actually do something about it).

    If I knew what the problem was and knew how to fix it, I would likely tell the person first, because I see no reason not to, unless there was some kind of reason to hide it at all. If they wouldn't want me to interfere, I wouldn't- why should I? Though I would readily give advice if I could (back to 'What needs to be done? What can I do about this?'). I would not push to interfere unless it was sufficiently urgent, or if it affects myself in some way. Or they have specifically asked me to interfere before. I have overridden requests for no interference very few times- but yes, it has happened- for those reasons.
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  5. #5
    All retch and no vomit. Peter Deadpan's Avatar
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    This is too circumstantial for me to answer. Generally though, I want the people I care about to be happy and taken care of, so I offer my support, but I naturally have a tendency to stay parallel, meaning I give people the space they need to have and experience their own feelings and make their own decisions. I do not like telling people what to do, but I do say "if I was in this position, this is what I would do, but you aren't me, so do what you feel is right for you". Otherwise, I just present an option for consideration, as well as how I think that might improve their situation, but gently so.

    I like to think I'd know my loved one well enough to know what lines are not to be crossed in terms of doing something against their wishes, and I would try to respect that, but perhaps bring the situation up later to check in on them again.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Most people know my type, but I'm not going to mention it.
    Perpetual mood


    "It is not the personality's task to tell the truth,
    but to seem to, try to, or try to seem to."


    Philip Trussell

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  6. #6
    Inactive For A Bit RadicalDoubt's Avatar
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    sp/so, double comp. Probably 3w4 core now that I've come into my personality as an adult...

    A lot of this is very circumstantial, so I suppose it would depend primarily on how much I actually care about this person or how severe the situation at hand was. If I actually noticed they were upset, I'd definitely ask at least once if they were alright, but not pry. Information means a lot to me, so I automatically assume it means a lot to others as well. If they don't want to share then it isn't my place to be told (although that doesn't bar me from speculating). If I really care about them or they seem highly effected, I often am inclined to try to ease their stress in other ways by making their tasks easier or pushing away other annoyances in ways they won't necessarily notice I did, but will make a difference (ie. if they're a neat freak I organize the work space, maybe "forget" it was their turn to do the dishes that night and do it for them, etc). I'm not super great at making people feel good anyhow since I'm not naturally attentive, but I find getting the meticulous little things out of the way helps them focus on solving whatever issue they're involved in.

    Whether or not I get involved really depends as well. Especially if it's not my place or if they can do it on their own/desire to, I'd be more inclined to leave it instead of fixing it myself (unless it was something very simple or it was some situation that would cause them serious harm, but I think those are more obvious situations). "Fixing" something you're not directly involved in as well can not only be intrusive, but also can hide key pieces of information that can only be derived by context. I can't know for certain me trying to resolve things won't actually make the situation worse, so unless they want my help and provide me context, there's not much use in me helping directly. I'm more likely to ask if I can help/provide advice rather then do the thing myself or push them into acting on their own then anything else.
    - sp/so - INTP -
    โ€œMy deplorable mania for analysis exhausts me. I doubt everything, even my doubt.โ€ Gustave Flaubert


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