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  1. #1
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    Default Hey all trying to decide if I'm info or infj

    Hey everyone, im not very good at understanding all this so hopefully sharing some things about me might help?
    I will start off with I have no friends through choice I guess, at a certain stage in my life I decided to lose my friends due to not feeling they were as good a friend to me as I was to them.. missing birthdays etc I was always there for them, protecting them in violent situations but not having my back in return.
    I've had the chance to go out with new people but I always make excuses or follow through with plans I guess I don't want new friends but at the same time I don't want my old ones as they are.
    I also feel the urge to help people all the time, the amount of times I'll stop and offer a lift to someone I see as struggling with shopping... Or offer a stranger money, cigarettes when others ignore them like homeless people etc..
    I'm also like this in general I'll do anything for anyone and not want anything back in return which is something I disliked about my friends as I saw them as users overtime.
    I really enjoy my own company but worry how others see me for being such a loner.
    I can't handle verbal conflict I bottle up never say what I'm thinking and hold it all in until I explode usually physically at the one causing me emotional discomfort.
    When my confidence is high I will come across extraverted bit when I'm low, I don't want to leave the hous, will avoid people I know if I see them crossing the street or hiding away.
    I am very critical of myself constantly battling with negative thoughts which lead me to do silly things I wouldn't do if I was happy...
    I'm better at fixing other people's problems than my own, I've been told I offer excellent advice and even though I'm sometimes very harsh it is to help not to hurt.
    I have no interests in news or politics I only care about what's going on in my own bubble because what can I do about so etching happening in another country.
    I cry at all movies n TV shows... Like a baby if it's very sad.. even cry at bits most people wouldn't.
    Despite being introverted in how I live, I'm actually quite a chatterbox and a bigtime oversharer I'm constantly beating myself up after conversations..should I have revealed that.. why did you have to tell them that etc..
    Im a social chameleon I can adjust to who ever I'm talking to... Be it a working class football loving lad or a nerdy movie loving guy.. I can tap into something to relate to them all.
    I suffer from all sorts of self critical things only when I'm not judging myself can I look and act normal in public .. but one tiny setback will destroy me, it's a very fine line.
    I do constantly think people see me as a bit of weirdo, if it wasn't for worrying about what others thought I would be happy with myself.
    I get walked over quite a bit as I bottle up my issues until I do explode and they never walk on me again.. they don't get the chance to as I cut them out of my life.
    My main issue is I've been stuck in the same self loathing rut for the longest time I don't try to get out of it.. yet despite feeling down trodden and like I have no luck.. I still continue to do nice things for complete strangers only to return to my own life of getting crapped on... Probably should have been a nurse lol.
    Anyways I'm musically talented but procastinate on doing anything with it till I sort other problems in my life out unfortunately it's always one step forward 2 steps back.

    Hope this offers an idea into my last letter
    Thanks

    Oh and one last thing I apologize quite a bit not overly but I have no issue saying I fvuked up where others would never own up to it.
    And a strange ability to know if someone is not happy without them revealing so.. I can tell by their face or how they are acting
    My usual convo goes are you alright I get the feeling you are.. sad or worried followed by how did you know? As they were hiding it

  2. #2

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    There's a ton of Fe in that post:

    I will start off with I have no friends through choice I guess, at a certain stage in my life I decided to lose my friends due to not feeling they were as good a friend to me as I was to them.. missing birthdays etc I was always there for them, protecting them in violent situations but not having my back in return.
    As an ENFP, I've noticed that Fe users have this sense of obligation that I don't share with them. Fe is all about group harmony and group ties, separating appropriate from inappropriate - if somebody does X for you, you should do Y in return.

    In contrast, as somebody with Fi, I would do those things and continue doing them because I would view those actions as my role/duty etc. without any particular implications for what others should do - I help because I believe it's the right thing for me to do, not because that's how the group is supposed to work.

    I guess I don't want new friends but at the same time I don't want my old ones as they are.
    Fe-Ni and Ni-Fe types are all about an elevated mindset, self-improvement/personal growth etc. They can be quite critical of people who don't share their values.

    A Ne-Fi or Fi-Ne type would probably express something more to the effect of, "I feel like I don't have common interests with my old friends."

    I can't handle verbal conflict I bottle up never say what I'm thinking and hold it all in until I explode usually physically at the one causing me emotional discomfort.
    INFPs and INFJs both often have a hard time communicating openly, and can both bottle things up. When an INFP lets something out, though, it will more likely be from a place of angst and vulnerability; it's the INFJ who lets things out in rage. I've seen this from INFJs in a few different contexts, and it comes from the Fe-laden assumption that other people share their values ("We both have to know this is wrong, so if you do it, it's because you're deliberately being an asshole").

    I bottle up my issues until I do explode and they never walk on me again.. they don't get the chance to as I cut them out of my life.
    INFJ doorslam.

  3. #3
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Default

    I wish I was an info.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft
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  4. #4
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    Default

    Hey thanks for that detailed reply, I will admit most of it goes right over my head but i'm getting that you are leaning towards infj ?

    Just to clear a few things up as I probably came across like a bit of a de-gifter, I do things for people I've never met and never expect a thing back, I don't even care if they thank for it, and the same does go for friends and family.

    What I was getting at was that once I had been doing these things for them for so long they actually began to expect it… for example I would always offer lifts to places but then I was getting calls expecting it.

    But this wasn't the only issue that ended my friendship, They were quite homophobic, Racist, Bigoted etc... I don't know if they always were and I just never paid attention to it or if they started to let it show more as they got older but I can't stand people like that and after pulling them up about it once or twice and still needing to apologize for them in public it was the final straw.

    So anyhooo leaning towards INFJ ? just really wanted to know as it was bugging me.

    Cheers.

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