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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Hey, devil's advocate- bearing in mind I have absolutely no problem with besties and had very rewarding experiences with my own series of BFFs as a young'un-

    Best friends can be great, but they can also be limiting. Kids can sometimes get into kind of a "tunnel vision" type situation where they only want to play with that one person. And that can be especially difficult to navigate if one of the pair wants to be only with the other, but the other wants to interact with more people and feels possessed in some ways by the other. (My daughter had an experience like that in the 5th grade, where two girls called her their "best friend" and she liked them both pretty much equally, but they hated each other and constantly fought over her.)

    I really do not think it's bad to encourage kids to have a variety of different connections of various strengths with different people. In cases where they are being actively shunned by the group, that's not that kid's fault. @Wind-Up Rex, I'm sure you would have been glad to have more friends besides your awesome brave BFF, if the other kids hadn't been total assholes, right?
    I read this and recalled how much of my childhood involved people falling short of my hopes for decency, kids are real assholes for the most part but for a few from good homes, its not a surprise that more than one person would want to be best friends with them.
    All for ourselves, and nothing for other people, seems, in every age of the world, to have been the vile maxim of the masters of mankind.
    Chapter IV, p. 448. - Adam Smith, Book 3, The Wealth of Nations

    whether or not you credit psychoanalysis itself, the fact remains that we all must, to the greatest extent possible, understand one another's minds as our own; the very survival of humanity has always depended on it. - Open Culture

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    I actually laughed when I read the article.

    We should discourage mean, 'clique-y' behavior, but to suggest that children should not have best friends is just ridiculous.
    That's brilliant, perfect synopsis of the entire issue, article and thread.
    All for ourselves, and nothing for other people, seems, in every age of the world, to have been the vile maxim of the masters of mankind.
    Chapter IV, p. 448. - Adam Smith, Book 3, The Wealth of Nations

    whether or not you credit psychoanalysis itself, the fact remains that we all must, to the greatest extent possible, understand one another's minds as our own; the very survival of humanity has always depended on it. - Open Culture

  3. #33
    Freaking Ratchet Rail Tracer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    I actually laughed when I read the article.

    We should discourage mean, 'clique-y' behavior, but to suggest that children should not have best friends is just ridiculous.
    I formed a loose clique in high school. That clique ended being one of the best things to pass the time. As long as you weren't an asshole, you were in.

  4. #34
    Senior Member Frosty's Avatar
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    I saw this and had to dig it up. Children naturally have preferences, everyone does, and they are naturally going to allign themselves as cirumastances allow. Humans are animals, they find who they can most relate to instinctually and then they form relationships outwards from there. If something you do not want is forced on you repeatedly, I would think that that would create more forced hostility directed towards whatever/whoever was unwanted.

  5. #35
    Mojibake sprinkles's Avatar
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    So we've gone from Pink Floyd's Another Brick in the Wall to delusional rainbow land of empty magical equality that must have been born of the lobotomized offspring of Care Bears and My Little Pony.

    Crapsaccharine World - TV Tropes

  6. #36
    Senior Member Kephalos's Avatar
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    I don't think this is surprising in the new society of envy obsessed with equality.

  7. #37
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    How about just leaving the kids alone to make their own decisions regarding friendship.

    "A head teacher of a leading primary school has said young children should not have best friends because it could leave others feeling ostracised and hurt."

    Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
    — Mark Twain
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