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  1. #41
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    Sep 2009
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    Quote Originally Posted by ICUP View Post
    I was also thinking last night about how basically, the same thing is happening in reverse. That "cougars" are looking for young men to fuck..... But this doesn't seem to be nearly as "bad" as when the men do it (double standard at work). I don't think we are going to see cruises where older men are there to hook-up with young women lol. People would have nervous breakdowns.

    I think the difference here is that young women can demand money for sex, and men can't. Sex becomes a commodity. Then again, it happens...... Men who look like chippendales and just hot guys in general can be paid for their services.
    old men go for young women all the time, the only reason the whole cougar thing gets so much media attention is because it's reversing the whole youth=beauty, desirability standard. i don't think it's seen as more socially acceptable or anything.

  2. #42
    Senior Member ICUP's Avatar
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    Apr 2011
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    Quote Originally Posted by chana View Post
    old men go for young women all the time, the only reason the whole cougar thing gets so much media attention is because it's reversing the whole youth=beauty, desirability standard. i don't think it's seen as more socially acceptable or anything.
    I do. I think it's more accepted when women do it. I'm not saying people some don't find it disgusting, but I don't think it's equal. The women aren't seen as predators or perverts the way men are, but just wild and crazy hedonists. At least, that's what I've observed..... there certainly aren't cruises dedicated to older men picking up on younger women, or men participating in pageants to crown the biggest perv lol. You find bars and cruises, however, absolutely full, of older women picking up younger men in the more affluent neighborhoods, in Vegas, and anywhere else you venture. I don't think it's much less common for a woman to want to pick up on a younger man, than it is for a man to want to pick up on a younger woman, for sex. I just think when men do it, they have to pay for it, more commonly, and therefore, keep it more hidden than out-in-the-open. Of course, some of them choose this way for no-strings-attached and convenient relationships and/or sex, whereas, many women can get that anyway, for free. If a man wants to have sex with a younger woman, they have to cruise the internet, go to a strip club, or some other designated, paid-for, and more-hidden arena, whereas all a woman has to do is go to the neighborhood bar or book a cruise. It's definitely more socially accepted in that way. I'm not saying it never happens in reverse, but not to the same extent.

    It's portrayed and viewed as a big party when women do it..... when men do it, why that nasty, horrible perv, and those poor, victimized women who became involved, and had to sell their twats for money! When men sell themselves for money, they aren't seen as victims, and the media doesn't portray them as such. Yea, it's definitely a double-standard at work.


    I don't find it disgusting either way, depending on the person. I think the person can be selfish and hedonistic, but not necessarily disgusting. I think misogyny and perversion is what makes it disgusting. Some guys just want to have a good time, with good company, and have sex. They pay for it because they don't want to make a commitment to anyone or be in a relationship, for some reason. No-strings-attached, and it's convenient and a sure thing. Of course, they are going to probably want someone young and attractive to do it with, given the choice...... young people can make older people feel young again, and many times, there's more to it than just the sex or the looks.

    As far as actually dating younger women, whole different story......


    I think when people get older, they tend to get over the whole youth = beauty message. Many have to reinforce the fact that they really aren't unattractive, and I think that attractiveness takes on a new meaning, as well, because life takes on new meaning. I don't see the whole youth = beauty standard as really being an all-encompassing standard, by no means. I think it appeals to a certain demographic, mainly people who are young. (In other words, I think people generally see beauty in people of their own age and generation - I don't see beauty or have sexual attraction to anyone in my mother's gen, or in the younger gens; I primarily see it in people of my own age). It's kindof hard when you become 40 to see a cute, silly, naive 20 year old as "the standard" for beauty lol, or to see girls who act and look like your daughter as being the standard for beauty and sexual interest, and I think that's why many people are disgusted by older men and women who venture there for dating and sex.....People generally think of 20 year olds as kids at 40, and I don't think most 20 year olds want to fuck a 12 year old either lol..... I think that many people want to date younger because it makes them feel younger. Young is fun; older people can become jaded. I also think that younger people can be less hard to please and less demanding. I'm not doubting that their youth makes them desirable, but I think there's more to it than just outward qualities. I suppose part of it is the unjaded, naive, flighty, zest-for-life quality that many young people possess, and I think when older people date younger people, I generally view them as selfish.

    Likewise, I think that if your self-esteem is tied to the youth=beauty standard, it can be a big fall when you get older. I think this can happen to men too, and I think that many women don't generally subscribe to the youth = beauty myth. It just depends on how much you have allowed it to impact your life, as to how you perceive the news article, I think. If it's on your mind and a big issue for you, of course you see something in the article that applies, but if it's not, you will receive a different message. Everyone doesn't receive the same message from reading the same news article. I have a buddy who is an extreme feminist and she will see the article from a completely different view than most people will.

    Anyways, that's not how I personally view the cougar media attention. I view it as a topic completely foreign to many, and serving to feed idle minds. It gives boring people something to talk about after supper. It's interesting because to them, it's fantastic. Anything odd and out-of-the-ordinary is fascinating to people who are ordinary. I don't think it has too much meaning out of the "look at those disgusting women" range. Not for the people who honestly find it compelling....... Anything hedonistic is seen as disgusting, and that's where Christianity ties in. I don't necessarily find hedonism disgusting, but I do find it disgusting if there are children and a wife/husband involved, and you aren't performing your duties as promised.
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  3. #43
    Senior Member
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    Jun 2009


    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    Here's the original article

    My initial thoughts were sex is such a lurid topic in the US and there is always a tinge of victim/pity angle in the mainstream press in regards to sex workers.

    I know that none of the women in the article necessarily said "feel sorry for me" but I was going to say "I don't".

    These are women headed for the upper middle class, they are educated, they have options. Sex work is a luxury for them and probably more than a bit of excitement. Not a dangerous, filthy necessity.

    'Kay, kinda extreme generalization, but you get my drift?

    Capitalism on the rise.
    All for ourselves, and nothing for other people, seems, in every age of the world, to have been the vile maxim of the masters of mankind.
    Chapter IV, p. 448. - Adam Smith, Book 3, The Wealth of Nations

    whether or not you credit psychoanalysis itself, the fact remains that we all must, to the greatest extent possible, understand one another's minds as our own; the very survival of humanity has always depended on it. - Open Culture

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