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I feel uncomfortable praying in front of people.

ladypinkington

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I don't exactly understand it really myself, but I really don't like praying publically.

I feel very selfconscious I guess and I feel like all of a sudden I have to be "ON" for God. I just don't like it.

It doesn't feel natural to me and is not one of my gifts and I feel like people are judging me when I do or are appraising my spirituality based on how good of a speech I make to God on behalf of everyone. I have heard people say, wow you can tell this person is really in love with God by how they pray. I don't agree with that.

I don't think it bad to pray publically I just don't think it is for everyone. I admire those who have a gift for it but I just don't have it and don't feel that I fail some kind of litmus test because I don't.

I am not big about advertising for God so to speak, I am not out to save people- I don't befriend people as part of an outreach to save their souls- I befriend people because I simply like them and they don't have to share my personal spiritual or religious beliefs for me to be friends with them- they don't have to have any at all.

I just want to be me and them be them. I feel that I will have done God a good service by being a good quality friend to that person and trying to live my life according to my principles. I feel like God is the one who saves- not me.

I am not very evangelistic at all- it isn't a gift of mine either. I don't like preaching about God but I do enjoy asking questions about God-especially those which cannot be asnswered and asking others about their belief's.

Sometimes I feel like a spiritual faliure but deep down I feel like I am just different then most others and am misunderstood.

I wonder if anyone else can relate.
 

Bella

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Oh, yes. Communicating via talking is not my strong point, not with people, not with God and most definitely not with God, in public. I tell Him (when I do try) 'I feel like an idiot, I'm stopping now, 'k'. That's why I'm rather relieved about the Bible. I can spend time with Him without talking. Oh, hooray.

As for feeling like a spiritual failure - pooh! God's standards for us and our standards for ourselves are very often all messed us. If he has your heart, I think he's pretty pleased. He doesn't mind that you suck at public praying.
 

Jeffster

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Well Jesus said to go off by yourself and pray, rather than doing it in front of people anyway. I forget the exact chapter and verse, but it's in there.
 
S

Sniffles

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ladypinkington, I very much relate to what you said. I get similar feelings whenever I attend mass or occasionally go to a rosary prayer group. It seems almost as if the other people are praying with more devotion than I am, wheras my prayers seem more simplistic by nature.

I even get this impression when I compare my prayers to the more eloquent prayers of the great Saints.

But I wish to share with you the insight given to me by a friend, that God appreciates any words spoken out of geniune love for him. It doesn't mean that articulated prayers are bad, but neither are more laconic prayers. Also keep in mind what the great writer Georges Bernanos once stated: "The wish to pray is a prayer in itself"

We each have our own unique ways of expressing our profound love of God, and we should appreciate and embrace the fact that God's name can be honored in such a variety of ways. It shows, among other things, how great God truely is - that he is no mere one-dimensional being.

I don't know what particular tradition you adhere to, but may I suggest you look into the great hermits of Christianity; men like St. Anthony of Egypt. These men took it upon themselves to follow Christ's example of wandering in the wilderness, to be with God alone. You may find some inspiration in their example.

CATHOLIC ENCYCLOPEDIA: Hermits
CATHOLIC ENCYCLOPEDIA: St. Anthony

Hope this helps.
 

Eric B

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I've never had prolems praying in a group in itself; it's just that many times I would not have that much to say. Especially now in a somewhat charismatic circle where people can fill a half-hour easily (much of it being repeating stuff over and over).
 

Totenkindly

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I don't exactly understand it really myself, but I really don't like praying publically. I feel very selfconscious I guess and I feel like all of a sudden I have to be "ON" for God. I just don't like it.

It doesn't feel natural to me and is not one of my gifts and I feel like people are judging me when I do or are appraising my spirituality based on how good of a speech I make to God on behalf of everyone. I have heard people say, wow you can tell this person is really in love with God by how they pray. I don't agree with that.

What's really funny is that I have started attending a church denomination well-known for its support of gay/lesbian members... and they pray just like people at any other church (conservative) that I have attended. They are crazy about God and have faith in his promises and embrace their own humanness and trust God's divinity and love.

So if I have to go by prayers, they love God just as much and perhaps more... because they have a really keen sense of what it means to be social outcasts and minorities. They know what it's like to be abused by the callous majority, and still somehow try to find love for the people who reject them.

So I guess I'm saying it's sort of funny when people make that judgment, because what they are really operating from is "that person must really love God because they pray in a way that makes me 'feel good in some way' and that they also share my doctrinal beliefs." People are constantly mistaking deep aesthetic pleasure and the connection of community as something that they are getting because of their particular beliefs, but the experiences run across all faith traditions and artistic endeavors.

Which is why you might feel judged. I hated public prayers except with people I trusted, because you are unveiling your heart (if you pray for real, with meaning), and people will judge your doctrine and what you pray for.

And, as a Ji-primary person, I will admit that I judge people too, I can't help it, I'm constantly evaluating what comes in front of me... with the caveat that I don't hold it against a person and that I am very open to new information and change my judgments as I go.

I don't think it bad to pray publically I just don't think it is for everyone. I admire those who have a gift for it but I just don't have it and don't feel that I fail some kind of litmus test because I don't.

People are gifted in different ways. An intellectual person might still need to serve on the physical ministry side sometimes, and vice versa; but in general there are various roles in the group because people are different. Some people are gifted with public prayer.

I am not big about advertising for God so to speak, I am not out to save people- I don't befriend people as part of an outreach to save their souls- I befriend people because I simply like them and they don't have to share my personal spiritual or religious beliefs for me to be friends with them- they don't have to have any at all.

I just want to be me and them be them. I feel that I will have done God a good service by being a good quality friend to that person and trying to live my life according to my principles. I feel like God is the one who saves- not me.

I agree. I used to feel guilty for not "witnessing/evangelizing" people when I was trying so hard to be part of the evangelical movement, but that's not who I am. I can care about people and engage them and value them regardless of their beliefs, and I hate meddling in their decisions; what I have to offer is multiple perspectives and a sense of safety, where they know they're loved, valued, and can trust me. Trying to force someone to believe something that is just a subjective faith statement really offends me and makes me feel dirty when I've tried to do it to others.

if God doesn't like that, so be it. I don't think all of us were created to be "get in their face"ers. Some of us have to be connectors and bridge-builders and safe havens.

I am not very evangelistic at all- it isn't a gift of mine either. I don't like preaching about God but I do enjoy asking questions about God-especially those which cannot be asnswered and asking others about their belief's.

That sounds very familiar.

Sometimes I feel like a spiritual faliure but deep down I feel like I am just different then most others and am misunderstood. I wonder if anyone else can relate.

*waves hand, jumps up and down*

As far as public prayer goes, too, and feeling judged when you pray? I think lots of people feel that way.
 

Journey

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It is hard for me to connect with God when I am praying in front of more than one accepting person. I know it is because I am more concerned with what others think of me than what God thinks of me and I am trying to move closer to God so I can get over this hurdle, but I am not there.
 
S

Sniffles

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"For prayer is nothing else than being on terms of friendship with God."
--St. Teresa of Avila
 

miss fortune

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Well Jesus said to go off by yourself and pray, rather than doing it in front of people anyway. I forget the exact chapter and verse, but it's in there.

:D I considered looking it up, but I don't really have time at the moment... it was something about "don't be like the hypocrites, who pray in public, but go off and pray in the dark alley where nobody sees you and you aren't on display"

yeah- a paraphrasing....


.... I know more about religion than a good agnostic should :(
 

Valiant

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Well Jesus said to go off by yourself and pray, rather than doing it in front of people anyway. I forget the exact chapter and verse, but it's in there.

The Jesus was high that day and spoke in riddles. What I meant by that was that I gently asked the person in question to go fuck himself. ;)
 

moonbaby

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God has defined only that under free will He desires you to have a relationship with Him. That you are praying is a beautiful thing. It isnt something that has to be put on display....it is a private conversation between you and your God.
 

Headstrong

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I, too, have a problem praying aloud with anyone. Tonight I was at a church event and while it was 3 hours of non-stop music, praise and worship, and self-guided prayer, we were asked once to grab a person beside us and pray together. Even one on one, I had a hard time praying in front of the person. Now, when we agreed to pray for each other, God gave me the words to say, but when we were asked to pray for our nation, I had nothing to say. To me, prayer is something very private. I do not like feeling pressured to pray aloud, and that often is the case. If God isn't speaking through me, why should I fake it? I just keep my mouth shut and that seems to cause a bit of a problem.
 

kyuuei

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Hmm, I have to say I haven't read all the giant walls of text here.. but my two cents?

There's such diversity now-a-days. It's not JUST Christianity anymore. You aren't a witch and burned, no one excommunicates you forever for picking up a book about something else.. but I suppose with the fall of one narrow-minded way rises another.

It seems to me as I've observed it that instead the intolerance is more toward Christianity than other denominations. I've never thought it weird or off-put for anyone to pray or say "God bless you" or anything like that.. but the sheer amount of people that have complained about things like moments of silence, the politically correct ways of doing things, mixing in with people speaking up every time they are offended by something... One almost feels like they are doing something wrong by doing what is natural for many Christians.

I feel the same way.. I don't say "Blessed be", I don't wear the star, and I don't preach or say things in a way that conveys my religious feelings behind a subject.. as if I am trying to hide it from the world to avoid potential embarrassment, offense, or some other silly notion that my mind can think up.
 

Valiant

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Hmm, I have to say I haven't read all the giant walls of text here.. but my two cents?

There's such diversity now-a-days. It's not JUST Christianity anymore. You aren't a witch and burned, no one excommunicates you forever for picking up a book about something else.. but I suppose with the fall of one narrow-minded way rises another.

It seems to me as I've observed it that instead the intolerance is more toward Christianity than other denominations. I've never thought it weird or off-put for anyone to pray or say "God bless you" or anything like that.. but the sheer amount of people that have complained about things like moments of silence, the politically correct ways of doing things, mixing in with people speaking up every time they are offended by something... One almost feels like they are doing something wrong by doing what is natural for many Christians.

I feel the same way.. I don't say "Blessed be", I don't wear the star, and I don't preach or say things in a way that conveys my religious feelings behind a subject.. as if I am trying to hide it from the world to avoid potential embarrassment, offense, or some other silly notion that my mind can think up.

Well, people should be more ashamed over being christians than any nazi could ever be. The sheer volume of crap that christianity is comprised of and what it has done to the world. Splitting into new churches isn't going to help. The nazis have different parties, too, you know. ;)
 

kyuuei

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Well, people should be more ashamed over being christians than any nazi could ever be. The sheer volume of crap that christianity is comprised of and what it has done to the world. Splitting into new churches isn't going to help. The nazis have different parties, too, you know. ;)

I'm not at all saying Christianity and the way people have in the past and continue to interpret it is wrong..

I just don't think the Religion should be blamed for what people do.. and I don't think that people who mind their own business and want to pray, say God Bless You, or do anything else that involves their religion should be ashamed or afraid to do so.

I'm just saying.. it seems like we can't have it all. When people are openly Christian, there's narrow-minded bigotry. When we aren't open about religion, we get the same thing in a different way entirely. It seems people can't win for losing.
 
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