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The greatest guide to happiness is?

Lark

Active member
Joined
Jun 21, 2009
Messages
29,569
Philosophy?

Economics? (including behavioural economics)

Politics?

Psychoanalysis/psychotherapy?
 

Virtual ghost

Complex paradigm
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
19,769
Philosophy?

Economics? (including behavioural economics)

Politics?

Psychoanalysis/psychotherapy?


This is all too rational and academic to present or induce happiness in it's classic definition.
It is more like: cooking, building, travling, designing, playing, exploring ... etc.
 
Joined
May 19, 2017
Messages
5,100
Don’t seek true deep happiness through the external. Other people, other things. Easier said than done. I’ll let you know when/if I get there.
 

Virtual ghost

Complex paradigm
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
19,769
Don’t seek true deep happiness through the external. Other people, other things. Easier said than done. I’ll let you know when/if I get there.

Why not ? I doubt that you can be happy if you don't find yourself the right spot in this world. But that don't mean that you have to be a doormat while you are in your search.
 
Joined
May 19, 2017
Messages
5,100
Why not ? I doubt that you can be happy if you don't find yourself the right spot in this world. But that don't mean that you have to be a doormat while you are in your search.

I figure you live in you. If your inner accommodations are unsatisfactory, nothing else will be either. Inner peace, self-acceptance. Changing what you can and accepting what you can’t. Yadda yadda yadda every corny self help book will probably say it in the intro. However, it’s a cliche because it’s true.
 

Virtual ghost

Complex paradigm
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
19,769
I figure you live in you. If your inner accommodations are unsatisfactory, nothing else will be either. Inner peace, self-acceptance. Changing what you can and accepting what you can’t. Yadda yadda yadda every corny self help book will probably say it in the intro. However, it’s a cliche because it’s true.


I personally can't have inner peace if around me there is a mess. I just can't.
I am willing to bet that number one reason why people are unhappy is actually because their environment is garbage. No one will get clinically depressed and suicidal if they live in a trully well functioning environment. Since inner life if mostly formed by data and experience from outer life, not inner life. You can rearrange the external data in a million ways in your head but the building blocks are always defined by outer info or experiences. So if there is mess outside it will probably quite quickly spill into your inner life. However changing external things is much harder and therefore people are running away from that.


But ok, self help books are made by specific kind of people for selected group of people, the ones that are least likely to realize the importance of external. Which is why they are likely to stay in shity life positions no matter how many self help books and therapists they see.
 
Joined
May 19, 2017
Messages
5,100
I personally can't have inner peace if around me there is a mess. I just can't.
I am willing to bet that number one reason why people are unhappy is actually because their environment is garbage. No one will get clinically depressed and suicidal if they live in a trully well functioning environment. Since inner life if mostly formed by data and experience from outer life, not inner life. You can rearrange the external data in a million ways in your head but the building blocks are always defined by outer info or experiences. So if there is mess outside it will probably quite quickly spill into your inner life. However changing external things is much harder and therefore people are running away from that.


But ok, self help books are made by specific kind of people for selected group of people, the ones that are least likely to realize the importance of external. Which is why they are likely to stay in shity life positions no matter how many self help books and therapists they see.

I don’t disagree that external is important but what good is cleaning up the neighborhood if you come home to a disaster? How can you possibly start to prioritize what needs to be done outside of you if inside you’re a chaotic whirlwind? It has to start somewhere.

Believe me, I don’t read self help books. No one knows me better than me.
 

Qlip

Post Human Post
Joined
Jul 30, 2010
Messages
8,464
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Basic needs minus ambition equals true happiness.
 

Virtual ghost

Complex paradigm
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
19,769
I don’t disagree that external is important but what good is cleaning up the neighborhood if you come home to a disaster? How can you possibly start to prioritize what needs to be done outside of you if inside you’re a chaotic whirlwind? It has to start somewhere.

Believe me, I don’t read self help books. No one knows me better than me.


Perhaps you didn't get me, in my example everything outside of your head is external. My logic is that the person should be preventive. So that the external doesn't go wrong, because that will pollute inner world as well. I know this is easier to say than do but the external is what really triggers things in us. However if you really get into the inner mess then you should try to ignore it and try to stay way from substance abuse and similar problems, while at the same time focus strongly to external world. What allows you to solve the source of the issue and in doing so you regain your stability, safety, self confidance or whatever got lost. This is how I do it, so maybe this don't work universally but I do think that external/physical is underrated in psychology. Since people who are into psychology aren't too likely to have strong external focus.


What I am saying in short is "People, train your Te skills".
 
Joined
May 19, 2017
Messages
5,100
Perhaps you didn't get me, in my example everything outside of your head is external. My logic is that the person should be preventive. So that the external doesn't go wrong, because that will pollute inner world as well. I know this is easier to say than do but the external is what really triggers things in us. However if you really get into the inner mess then you should try to ignore it and try to stay way from substance abuse and similar problems, while at the same time focus strongly to external world. What allows you to solve the source of the issue and in doing so you regain your stability, safety, self confidance or whatever got lost. This is how I do it, so maybe this don't work universally but I do think that external/physical is underrated in psychology. Since people who are into psychology aren't too likely to have strong external focus.


What I am saying in short is "People, train your Te skills".

I understand that we’re probably trying to get at the same thing ultimately, which is balance of one helps balance the other.
 

Virtual ghost

Complex paradigm
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
19,769
I understand that we’re probably trying to get at the same thing ultimately, which is balance of one helps balance the other.

I am not sure about that. I want to be quite wise and efficient and you want inner peace, these two are not at odds but they aren't exactly the same thing either. The difference is that you don't seem to enjoy being a "control freak", since you don't get energy from that. The energy that is healing to me. For me inner peace isn't the goal on itself, but just one of the means of how to stay strong on my path.
 
Joined
May 19, 2017
Messages
5,100
I am not sure about that. I want to be quite wise and efficient and you want inner peace, these two are not at odds but they aren't exactly the same thing either. The difference is that you don't seem to enjoy being a "control freak", since you don't get energy from that. The energy that is healing to me. For me inner peace isn't the goal on itself, but just one of the means of how to stay strong on my path.

Inner peace is ‘control’. If I’m centered and calm then I’m in control of me. If I give in to impulses I inflict damage, on myself and others. Damage that I regret in many cases. A storm in me is not me being in control. External control is to a great degree a lie. There are so many forces at play, on this earth and beyond. Powerful forces that you and I will never gain mastery over. Life is mostly a distraction from this fact. People distract themselves with other people and things to stave off the one truth in life- it’s inevitable end. Trying to micromanage the unmanageable will just drive you crazy.

Anyway, thank you for sharing your motivations with me. It’s always enlightening to see other perspectives.
 

Mole

Permabanned
Joined
Mar 20, 2008
Messages
20,284
who wants to be happy?

It has been a surprise to me to discover that those suffering from clinical Depression don't want to be happy. They give their full attention to their unhappiness, and so become entranced by their unhappiness, and resent anyone interrupting their trance of unhappiness. And they have a sly gallows humour, and say things like "Who wants to be happy?".
 

Mole

Permabanned
Joined
Mar 20, 2008
Messages
20,284
Sport is not a matter of life and death - it is far more important.

And devoting ourselves to something valuable in itself, is more important than happiness.
 
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