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  1. #1
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    Default Is the mid life crisis a real thing?

    Dont laugh if you havent reached that age yet because there's talk of quarter life crisis too, in fact I think of it as more crisis, crisis per se, of a sort, it could occur at any age and even Bart Simpson's lament to his sister about turning ten and "candy doesnt taste so good anymore" is a humourous reflection upon the same.

    The Philosophy of the Midlife Crisis | The New Yorker
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  2. #2
    Queer Coded Cat The Cat's Avatar
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    I hope its real, I've been investing in one as long as I can remember...
    I am the Cat who walks by themself; and all places are alike to me...

    For the cat is cryptic,
    and close to strange things which men cannot see.
    They are the soul of antique Aegyptus,
    and bearer of tales from forgotten cities in Meroë and Ophir.
    They are the kin of the jungle’s lords,
    and heir to the secrets of hoary and sinister Africa.
    The Sphinx is their cousin, and they speak her language;
    but they are more ancient than the Sphinx,
    and remember that which she hath forgotten...

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  3. #3
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Isn't it just the natural reaction of a healthy body of a curios race of beings fighting against the staleness of everyday life?

    Rather than a real thing, I wonder wether or not it is an inevitable thing.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf
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  4. #4
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    My impression has been that midlife crises usually develop with people who neglect to make fulfilling choices earlier in their lives. By the time middle-age rolls around, they reflect on the thought that they've spent half their lives missing opportunities. Consequently, they they have an urge to realize fantasies that never came to fruition.

    I think it's possible to avoid midlife crises if you think ahead, sort yourself out, pursue ambitions that have meaning to you, and devote your energy to the extent that it's conscionable and reasonable for you. Fortune has to favor you for the ducks to line up in a way that you can work with them. You probably have to have a satisfactory amount of appreciation for your lot in life, too.

    Nevertheless, there's still a chance that the existential anxiety of middle-age shifts your attention toward some "missing piece" that leads you to question everything, regardless. Maybe a person who spends their time trying to avert a midlife crisis has a chance of incurring a midlife crisis in the process. "Think of all the opportunities to fuck off from life I skipped out on!" etc.
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  5. #5
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    I think like any recurring theme that happens often enough to enter the realm of familiarity and cliche, it is probably a real thing for some people.

    For myself I can easily see it becoming a real thing, although I am a fair way off my mid life years. I've struggled in my earlier years with constant anxieties and interfering mood swings, which, given my poor coping abilities in that earlier life (probably not helped by lack of frontal lobe development) meant I've left school and later 6th form with a very poor educational background and maladaptive tendencies towards learning. Not that I'm relinquishing personal responsibility for that behaviour with that explanation.

    I've then jumped from one entry level job to another, failing at finding romantic connections along the way, struggling to find some drive or meaning in my life. Now at 29 I've finally decided to kick myself up the arse and get into training to become a Veterinary Nurse. Which is based on an old childhood idea of becoming a Veterinary Surgeon. Realising that's a bit lofty for my actual capabilities, I settled on nurse as something I think I can reach.

    But it's daunting, at my estimate with the amount of work involved I'd probably be around 36-7 by the time I even found a job in that vocation.

    You could say in my case that this is an ongoing crisis rather than just a mid life one, but I use myself as an example of someone who is probably set up to have a serious problem at mid life ( always a bit odd calling it 'mid life' when it's based on current life expectancy due to medical advances as well as individual life style but I suppose it can move in position).

    I suppose being obsessed about time frames and set ages is part of the issue. It suggests a fixed view of the world that is out of sorts with the actual experience of it.

    Personally I'm trying to tell myself to take it one day at a time and try to let go of those assumptions and prejudices of age. But I have the nagging feeling that trying, at will, to do something that requires you to let attention fall away without conscious effort, is a paradox human beings cannot solve..... at least not yet.
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  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Floki View Post
    My impression has been that midlife crises usually develop with people who neglect to make fulfilling choices earlier in their lives. By the time middle-age rolls around, they reflect on the thought that they've spent half their lives missing opportunities. Consequently, they they have an urge to realize fantasies that never came to fruition.

    I think it's possible to avoid midlife crises if you think ahead, sort yourself out, pursue ambitions that have meaning to you, and devote your energy to the extent that it's conscionable and reasonable for you. Fortune has to favor you for the ducks to line up in a way that you can work with them. You probably have to have a satisfactory amount of appreciation for your lot in life, too.

    Nevertheless, there's still a chance that the existential anxiety of middle-age shifts your attention toward some "missing piece" that leads you to question everything, regardless. Maybe a person who spends their time trying to avert a midlife crisis has a chance of incurring a midlife crisis in the process. "Think of all the opportunities to fuck off from life I skipped out on!" etc.
    Well, I've read lots of different sources on this and the most consistent themes are to do with a recognition that what you want to do, ambitions, are not matched by opportunities, it can either be a ramping of the former or the later which causes it, ie you still want to do as many things as you did but your health is failing, that's no change in the former but a decline in the later, or you're older and have a better idea of what life can offer than when you were younger but have responsibilities you did not have when you were younger, that's a ramping of the former and no change of decline of the later.

    That's maybe not explained well, my point is that its not just a case of regrets as I understand it.

    You could well experience a crisis if you have alienated much of your life, Marx used to write about that, a big bank saving account was a sign you had not spent the money actually living, so it was a record of all the times you have failed to wine and dine friends for instance. However, I hear more people regretfully or ruefully talking about time and money spent that way instead of saving it and there's so many books written encouraging people to value or feel as good about money saved as money spent.

    Some of it I think is a game of bad comparisons, I dont really compare myself with others in the way that I've read many people are doing and judging themselves as wanting or deprived. Instead I usually compare myself with people who are much worse off than myself, then I'm grateful for what I do have, I've always done that. However, one of the people who have written on mid life crisis has written about how setting goals and achieving them is self-defeating as when goals are achieved they are achieved, that's it, you can only have one first time at anything, even if you want to repeat a goal its done, if that makes sense. And they say a lot about that.
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  7. #7
    Senior Member tinker683's Avatar
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    I wonder sometimes if I'm in the beginning phases of it.

    I'm almost 35 so I'm about the right age fo fit I suppose. I've also been feeling a restlessness with my own life, and a feeling of wanting to stretch myself and do more but feeling confined by the obligations and responsibilities I currently have.

    A couple of months ago I subscribed to Lynda.com with a goal of learning to pick up a programming language or maybe picking back up my IT education that I went to college for in the early 2000s. When that couldn't hold my interest, I dropped that and now I've got a Great Courses Plus subscription and I'm learning about topics I've always been curious about but haven't given any thought too since school. I even talked to my wife once about going back to college for...reasons...but we decided against that.

    I don't have any desire to leave my wife or do anything like that but I do find myself plaqued by feelings of, "There has to be more to life than just busting my ass 5 days a week and then vegging over the weekend" .

    I've given thought to a career change but I'm far too entrenched to just up and leave it. I've got a mortgage and two vehicles and my wife and I are considering starting a family within the next few years.

    That all being said, if picking up and changing learning service subscriptions is of any indication of how I'm proceeding through this time in my life, I think I'll be OK. The most expensive impulse purchase I've made was a MacBook Pro and that was after I got a $6000 bonus form work.
    Deered to kill a king's dare
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