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  1. #1
    Senior Member lightsun's Avatar
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    Default What's something positive you try to keep in mind when negativity surrounds you?

    What's something positive you try to keep in mind when negativity surrounds you?

  2. #2
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    I saw a T-Shirt once that said something like "When work is tough remember you'll die", its not exactly positive but I think it does lend a certain sort of perspective to things.
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  3. #3
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    I usually just reframe the situation. I may look at it as a challenge for me to overcome and grow from. Or I may look at it as an opportunity to make changes and try something new. I generally don't put up with a tremendous amount of negativity around me though, if it's involving people being dicks. I also try to voice when things bother me a lot, like boundaries being crossed. I'm also good at detaching, so perhaps it doesn't bother me as much as others overall.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peter Deadpan View Post
    I usually just reframe the situation. I may look at it as a challenge for me to overcome and grow from. Or I may look at it as an opportunity to make changes and try something new. I generally don't put up with a tremendous amount of negativity around me though, if it's involving people being dicks. I also try to voice when things bother me a lot, like boundaries being crossed. I'm also good at detaching, so perhaps it doesn't bother me as much as others overall.
    Do you ever find that people reframe situations to counter your own reframing of it? Sometimes that happens to me and it bothers me, a lot, also attribution, when others attribute motives or a role to you, I hate that, all the different sorts of shitty things which crafty people do to control a narrative, I hate all that and actually think its a more devious sort of negativity than more basic sorts, like complaining about things.

    I've encountered more of this lately than I have in years but sometimes you meet people who are adept or who've become adept at pretty basic framing, reframing and response framing of situations and its worked for them for years, with other people, you come along and they just cast you in a part or role in some way, its like wow, wait a minute, I'm not some NPC in your narrative drive RPG. Or at least that's what I find. Borrowing loads from gaming culture there by way of an explanation so it'll make little sense.
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  5. #5
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    I think of 3 things or more of what I feel gratitude about everyday. Then if it still weighs on my mind, I turn my perspective around. I ask myself "What positives have come out of this??", "How have you improved?!", etc.
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    salty caramel squares

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Survive & Stay Free View Post
    Do you ever find that people reframe situations to counter your own reframing of it? Sometimes that happens to me and it bothers me, a lot, also attribution, when others attribute motives or a role to you, I hate that, all the different sorts of shitty things which crafty people do to control a narrative, I hate all that and actually think its a more devious sort of negativity than more basic sorts, like complaining about things.

    I've encountered more of this lately than I have in years but sometimes you meet people who are adept or who've become adept at pretty basic framing, reframing and response framing of situations and its worked for them for years, with other people, you come along and they just cast you in a part or role in some way, its like wow, wait a minute, I'm not some NPC in your narrative drive RPG. Or at least that's what I find. Borrowing loads from gaming culture there by way of an explanation so it'll make little sense.
    I can be a bit hypervigilant about the motivations of others, but overall, I am not an overly cynical person. I think people try their best most of the time, but they struggle with their own demons and that directs their choices. That's why I am so picky about the company I keep though.

  8. #8
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    1) The thought that one day, when I'm ready, I'll be able to just lie in bed with a girl and cuddle and snuggle and kiss on the couch or bed or whatever and be gushy and romantic, knowing that no matter how bleak things seem, statistically speaking, and speaking from my luck in the past and how many times IIIII've actually called it off, it will happen.
    2) that the more i suffer, the more my sins are expiated if i do the right thing as a response despite the fact that doing the wrong thing to ease the pain is an easy cure (Islamic belief)
    3) social science research
    4) calling my friend or family friends
    5) pretending that my Toy dog Wrinkle is a living thing with part of my soul from when i was 2 (when i got him) inside of him but in evolved form from ever since i was 2, and now he is the military wing of my psyche and he has staged a coup d'etat and is ordering a shutdown of my mind. basically, i just act all numb and dont talk to anyone except "him" (talk to "him" as an imaginary friend like when i was little)
    EDIT: 6) Talking to "Wrinkle" without a "coup d'etat"
    7) cuddling with my pillows and talking to them
    8) cuddling with wrinkle
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  9. #9
    Senior Member Smilephantomhive's Avatar
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    I just stay negative.


    johari
    nohari

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by lightsun View Post
    What's something positive you try to keep in mind when negativity surrounds you?
    It is important to distinguish between critique and negativity for its own sake.

    It is important to value and protect critique as we value and protect free speech, but the danger with negativity for its own sake is that it calls to negativity in us. So once we recognise this situation, it is important to practise restraint. Remembering that restraint is the sign of emotional intelligence.

    So rather than keeping something positive in mind, it is most important not to become negative ourselves. Positivity soon reasserts itself.
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