User Tag List

First 123 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 25

  1. #11
    ⋆✦⋆ Hiraeth's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Posts
    1,709

    Default

    I isolate myself so that I'm totally alone. This by itself always helps so that I can introspect and set a reminder that another day will come; how everything doesn't remain static and eventually some happy moments will resurface again. Also keeping my mind toward the future and making sure it's not lingering in the past helps as well. Additionally with every negative there's a positive too, though you may need to dig deep to find it.

    All in all I try to keep my mind as balanced as possible so that I don't go sinking down the cracks again and have a difficult time coming back up for air. Mind-body connection is really important also, but admittedly I don't work on it as often as I should.

  2. #12
    Senior Member tinker683's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    ISFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/sp
    Posts
    2,871

    Default

    The quote thats in my signature. I also remember the speech by Rocky Balboa in the movie "Rocky Balboa" he gave to his son.

    Deered to kill a king's dare

  3. #13
    courage, dear heart ♥ DulcetRefrain's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    459 sp/sx
    Socionics
    EII Fi
    Posts
    1,949

    Default

    I put things into perspective. I remember love, life, and God. I try to change what I can and wait for what I cant control right now. I remember all that I have to live for, and suddenly all the negative things tend to dissolve...
    I am no bird, and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will.

    I was quiet, but I was not blind.
    I would always rather be happy than dignified.
    Likes Eternal Harmony, Lord Lavender liked this post

  4. #14
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    9
    Socionics
    IEI None
    Posts
    827

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Peter Deadpan View Post
    I usually just reframe the situation. I may look at it as a challenge for me to overcome and grow from. Or I may look at it as an opportunity to make changes and try something new. I generally don't put up with a tremendous amount of negativity around me though, if it's involving people being dicks. I also try to voice when things bother me a lot, like boundaries being crossed. I'm also good at detaching, so perhaps it doesn't bother me as much as others overall.
    Via Peter Deadpan (All quotations are Peter's followed by my reply)

    (1) "...reframe the situation."

    I have a saying either problem solve or refocus but the worst thing is to dwell on a problem or negativity.

    (2) " I may look at it as a challenge for me to overcome and grow from." and "...look at it as an opportunity...changes and try something new."

    This is a very enlightened view. Conflict, if we take responsibility of dealing with the situation in a rational way and not succumbing to base emotions can often facilitate growth. it is a mark of spiritual maturity and emotional regulation along having an internal locus of control.

    (3) "I generally don't put up...tremendous amount of negativity around me..." and "...voice when things bother me a lot, like boundaries being crossed."

    Neither do I. In fact another saying of mine is it takes two people to argue. Both however are projecting unfinished business and unresolved conflict and neither is listening to the other. I state my position. If the other is reasonable then dialogue can commence. If the other is unreasonable then I walk away.
    Likes Peter Deadpan liked this post

  5. #15
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    9
    Socionics
    IEI None
    Posts
    827

    Default What's something positive you try to keep in mind when negativity surrounds you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Peter Deadpan View Post
    I usually just reframe the situation. I may look at it as a challenge for me to overcome and grow from. Or I may look at it as an opportunity to make changes and try something new. I generally don't put up with a tremendous amount of negativity around me though, if it's involving people being dicks. I also try to voice when things bother me a lot, like boundaries being crossed. I'm also good at detaching, so perhaps it doesn't bother me as much as others overall.
    Via Survive & Stay Free
    (1) "...attribution, when others attribute motives or a role to you..."

    One can not argue with an irrational person. One kind of person is where one finds common ground and synergy can occur. The other is a disagreeable fellow. All one can do is state your boundaries and remove yourself from a toxic situation.

  6. #16
    Senior Member Eternal Harmony's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2017
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    258 so/sx
    Socionics
    EII Fi
    Posts
    133

    Default

    It depends because I make a difference between what I do and what I try to keep in mind.
    First, I agree with that critique can be easily misinterpreted. Once I did myself until I have learned that critique of my art for example is no critique for my person and critique is individually. Some might find something not so good and others might love it. And always correct criticism is always a means of help to improve a position. But that is simply a thing to learn and make experience and does not automatically mean negativity, even if you feel for the first moment.

    When it comes to real negativity like for example mobbing (just one example, there can be others negativities as well in daily live), I proceed as follows:

    When I have the time to do something, I will isolate and meditate a bit; only a few minutes help me to calm down and react in another way.
    If not, I will recall something positive (and that is the corner question of this thread). The things I recall in front of my inner eyes, are events that have been great success for me, like a poem recitation in a crowded church or some nice commission work, some nice invitation, some nice concert in full house, some meeting with close friends... there are so many things to mention). These pictures will distract me from the negative environment.

    After getting this distance, analysis starts. I always so. First it is me. Have I done something wrong? What have I done?
    If the result is that it was my fault, I try to think about what to improve and how to work on it.

    If I come to the conclusion that it will no mistake from my part, I try to analyze the others standpoint.
    Concerning mobbing, for example: They are unsatisfied with themselves and their own productivity so they envy others productivity, they would like to have the same but without investing something, they want to get/give something they never have learned to get/give ....

    What stays is usually compassion and understanding and without hook or any showing, I start to work on converting their negative mood into a positive one.

    I know ... sounds quite complicated, but I am patient and have time
    MBTI: INFJ
    Enneagram:2w1 5w4 8w7 so/sx/sp
    Socionic:EII, Fi
    Astrology:Capricorn Sun - Taurus Moon - Aquarius Rising
    Aura Colors: Primary Color Indigo, Secondary Color Blue

    more to see and to find out...

    Wings

    On great white gentle wings
    Your soul rise towards Heaven,
    Hover to the stars.


    Souls

    Divine
    Living sparks:
    Ancient, eternal, sublime -
    Love, light, justice, truth:
    Souls

    (Poetry by me)
    Likes Lord Lavender liked this post

  7. #17
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    9
    Socionics
    IEI None
    Posts
    827

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Survive & Stay Free View Post
    Do you ever find that people reframe situations to counter your own reframing of it? Sometimes that happens to me and it bothers me, a lot, also attribution, when others attribute motives or a role to you, I hate that, all the different sorts of shitty things which crafty people do to control a narrative, I hate all that and actually think its a more devious sort of negativity than more basic sorts, like complaining about things.

    I've encountered more of this lately than I have in years but sometimes you meet people who are adept or who've become adept at pretty basic framing, reframing and response framing of situations and its worked for them for years, with other people, you come along and they just cast you in a part or role in some way, its like wow, wait a minute, I'm not some NPC in your narrative drive RPG. Or at least that's what I find. Borrowing loads from gaming culture there by way of an explanation so it'll make little sense.
    Survive & Stay Free wrote, (1) "...attribution, when others attribute motives or a role to you..."


    One can not argue with an irrational person. One kind of person is where one finds common ground and synergy can occur. The other is a disagreeable fellow. All one can do is state your boundaries and remove yourself from a toxic situation.

  8. #18
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    9
    Socionics
    IEI None
    Posts
    827

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by lightsun View Post
    Via Survive & Stay Free
    (1) "...attribution, when others attribute motives or a role to you..."

    One can not argue with an irrational person. One kind of person is where one finds common ground and synergy can occur. The other is a disagreeable fellow. All one can do is state your boundaries and remove yourself from a toxic situation.
    Quote Originally Posted by Survive & Stay Free View Post
    Do you ever find that people reframe situations to counter your own reframing of it? Sometimes that happens to me and it bothers me, a lot, also attribution, when others attribute motives or a role to you, I hate that, all the different sorts of shitty things which crafty people do to control a narrative, I hate all that and actually think its a more devious sort of negativity than more basic sorts, like complaining about things.

    I've encountered more of this lately than I have in years but sometimes you meet people who are adept or who've become adept at pretty basic framing, reframing and response framing of situations and its worked for them for years, with other people, you come along and they just cast you in a part or role in some way, its like wow, wait a minute, I'm not some NPC in your narrative drive RPG. Or at least that's what I find. Borrowing loads from gaming culture there by way of an explanation so it'll make little sense.
    Survive & Stay Free wrote, (1) "...attribution, when others attribute motives or a role to you..."

    One can not argue with an irrational person. One kind of person is where one finds common ground and synergy can occur. The other is a disagreeable fellow. All one can do is state your boundaries and remove yourself from a toxic situation.

  9. #19
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    9
    Socionics
    IEI None
    Posts
    827

    Default

    "I have two very simple concepts. One is not to spread negativity and the other more difficult one is not to repay a negative with a negative. This would usher in so much peace if people could only follow it. It goes back to the old adage of can't we all just get along? If one can not say either something positive or constructive then it would behoove the person to remain silent. If negative they portray their own ignorance. It takes great strength of will to follow the above two precepts and is a mark of both spiritual maturity and emotional regulation. I have a saying either problem solve or refocus but the worst thing is to dwell on a problem or negativity. Conflict, if we take responsibility of dealing with the situation in a rational way and not succumbing to base emotions can often facilitate growth.

    One can not argue with an irrational person. One kind of person is where one finds common ground and synergy can occur. The other is a disagreeable fellow. All one can do is state your boundaries and remove yourself from a toxic situation. It is a mark of spiritual maturity and emotional regulation along having an internal locus of control to disengage from conflict. Another saying of mine is it takes two people to argue. Both however are projecting unfinished business and unresolved conflict and neither is listening to the other. When repaying a negative with a negative the unconscious has been triggered. The person is not reacting towards the situation rather it is a blind spot and one is projecting their own unfinished business and unresolved conflict.

    I state my position. If the other is reasonable then dialogue can commence. If the other is unreasonable then I walk away. It is a constant process of refining and taking the high road in all situations with a mixture of Agape compassion and reason. Thence it is a mark of spiritual maturity and emotional regulation to make the unconscious conscious and act not react. "
    Likes Eternal Harmony liked this post

  10. #20
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    29,989

    Default

    I like the speech in fight club, I'm not sure if you'd call it gallows humour or if its some kind of cultural thing, someone made the observation once about the gaels that all their wars were merry and all their songs were sad (the preface is that the great gaels of ireland were the men that God made mad) and I think things are a bit like that sometimes.

    That said I like ideas like Erich Fromm and others idea about biophilia and that helps me, the idea that if you look around and you can not find or see the good in the situation its because you are or are being called upon to be the good yourself, different speeches from pop culture or history are uplifting too.
    Likes Lord Lavender liked this post

Similar Threads

  1. Promises for yourself - what do you do to keep them?
    By Ghost of the dead horse in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 07-11-2018, 04:15 PM
  2. Replies: 171
    Last Post: 07-21-2013, 07:22 AM
  3. a thing to keep in mind about functions (Ni as example)
    By garbage in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 59
    Last Post: 01-03-2012, 04:19 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO