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Debate: Worthiness of Love and Depression

highlander

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I don't understand why it's overemphasized.

First of all, what does love for others mean? To me, it means love for the personhood of others. So what does love of self mean? Love of self is basically the same thing, applied to one's own personhood. It's basically seeing oneself as a person worthy of love like anyone else. At least that is how I understand it.

But everyone is worthy of love so seeing yourself as worthy of it doesn't mean anything.

People talk about what love is and is not. "Love is action" and whatever kind of BS they believe it is. It comes from how you feel about a person - from a deep place of caring and acceptance. I don't think it's something that can be easily defined but generally you know when you are being loved. There is concrete evidence and you feel it intuitively. Some people seem to misinterpret the signals coming from the other person as a result of being on a kind of different wavelength though.
 

Typh0n

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But everyone is worthy of love so seeing yourself as worthy of it doesn't mean anything.

But it might be useful to someone who is depressed. It's not so much that seeing yourself as worthy of love is a revelation, but it might be a realization, if I'm making sense. Because there is ample evidence to show what causes depression is aggression turned inward, towards the self, learning to treat yourself with respect can prove important. But I agree, some people may not need to learn this. It's a contextual thing. I don't think "love yourself" can be used a general principle. It can help some people who don't love themselves though, if it helps them come to the realization of just how hostile towards themselves they actually are.

People talk about what love is and is not. "Love is action" and whatever kind of BS they believe it is. It comes from how you feel about a person. I don't think it's something that can be easily defined but generally you know when you are being loved. There is concrete evidence and you feel it intuitively. Some people seem to misinterpret the signals coming from the other person as a result of being on a kind of different wavelength though.

Yeah, I agree it's not easy to define and for the record I'm not interested in defining it. I think it can be healthy to make yourself feel that love coming from yourself. It's not mutually exclusive to feeling love from others or to loving others.
 

Peter Deadpan

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But it might be useful to someone who is depressed. It's not so much that seeing yourself as worthy of love is a revelation, but it might be a realization, if I'm making sense. Because there is ample evidence to show what causes depression is aggression turned inward, towards the self, learning to treat yourself with respect can prove important. But I agree, some people may not need to learn this. It's a contextual thing. I don't think "love yourself" can be used a general principle. It can help some people who don't love themselves though, if it helps them come to the realization of just how hostile towards themselves they actually are.



Yeah, I agree it's not easy to define and for the record I'm not interested in defining it. I think it can be healthy to make yourself feel that love coming from yourself. It's not mutually exclusive to feeling love from others or to loving others.

I find it interesting that the "thinkers" are referring to love as a feeling, and I'm a "feeler" over here referring to love as a choice/commitment/acceptance thing.

I think truthfully it has to be a combination of both or it will be lacking. Love that is based on only feelings will not last because feelings fluctuate. And choosing to be with someone everyday and fully accept them, even if reciprocated, will be lacking if there is no feeling/deep connection... I know I'm kind of stating the obvious here.

Obviously, I suffer from depression. Anxiety is an old friend, but the veil of depression started clouding my vision just 2 years ago. I'm 31 years old... that's kinda fucking weird to find yourself suddenly dealing with depression. Most depressed people I know are seasoned pros, so to speak, so it can be awkward and scary to find yourself suddenly lacking resiliency and self-esteem/worth/acceptance/love/insert whatever term necessary at a not-so-young age. I always considered myself a *very* resilient person beforehand and never lacked confidence in my relationships. Then, I married a wack-job who basically destroyed that part of me, and learning how to rebuild it has been by far the biggest challenge of my life. Ironically, I'm actually quite attractive by many societal standards, but as with loving others, it takes more than just good looks to love yourself. I also think that maybe I have a touch of "ugly duck syndrome." I digress.

What else besides feelings and "choosing" is crucial to love? I think my answer would be trust and respect. So, maybe it's not as much about "loving" yourself, because as we've established, it's difficult to even define love. So, maybe it is more about trusting and respecting yourself. If I don't trust myself, how can I trust that my feelings for my partner are real? How can I then trust that my partner's feelings for me are real if I'm feeling ambiguous about it at times? If I don't respect myself, I probably won't have solid boundaries set in place and I will probably be unable to respect my partner's boundaries too.

I still maintain that in addition to the almost undefinable feelings of love, it boils down to acceptance. "I see your missing pieces, and I still love you." This can be applied within or to others. Think about it... what happens when you don't accept something? You react. You get defensive. You may even lie or lash out in anger. These are things we've all done with ourselves and others, and they are the ultimate love killer.
 

Peter Deadpan

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I meant to quote Highlander's comments too, but I still barely know what I'm doing, haha. You're both thinkers, and that's what I was getting at.
 

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Another thinker who has a hard time conceptualizing "self-love", wandering into this thread.

I find it interesting that the "thinkers" are referring to love as a feeling, and I'm a "feeler" over here referring to love as a choice/commitment/acceptance thing.

Wondering if this is because thinkers are more likely to come at this from a perspective of already having the logical, structural processes in place, but lacking the emotion itself -- and feelers vice versa. Huge generalization, obviously. In fact I'm wondering if it's J vs. P, because Fe-users are equally structure>feelings in a lot of ways. The ExFJs I know are harsher with their own emotions than the ExTJs I know (myself included).

Anyway. I honestly can't conceptualize what it would be like to feel love towards yourself. It's to the point that I wonder if that feeling -- of loving yourself -- is normal. Is this a new concept? People talk about it as if it is necessary. And I'm sure it is. But I wonder what it has been referred to in the past. I wonder if there is other, less jargony, language, that describes how this feels.

Hah, I hope you still like where this thread is going. Seems a bit derailed, albeit in an interesting way.
 

Peter Deadpan

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Another thinker who has a hard time conceptualizing "self-love", wandering into this thread.



Wondering if this is because thinkers are more likely to come at this from a perspective of already having the logical, structural processes in place, but lacking the emotion itself -- and feelers vice versa. Huge generalization, obviously. In fact I'm wondering if it's J vs. P, because Fe-users are equally structure>feelings in a lot of ways. The ExFJs I know are harsher with their own emotions than the ExTJs I know (myself included).

Anyway. I honestly can't conceptualize what it would be like to feel love towards yourself. It's to the point that I wonder if that feeling -- of loving yourself -- is normal. Is this a new concept? People talk about it as if it is necessary. And I'm sure it is. But I wonder what it has been referred to in the past. I wonder if there is other, less jargony, language, that describes how this feels.

Hah, I hope you still like where this thread is going. Seems a bit derailed, albeit in an interesting way.

Yes, I do like where it is going. I can appreciate an organic change of flow in the conversation.
 

EJCC

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Yes, I do like where it is going. I can appreciate an organic change of flow in the conversation.
Good. :) just making sure. After all, sometimes I, personally, DON'T like an organic change of flow in the conversation. #sjstereotypes #sometimestheyareaccurate
 

highlander

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that's kinda fucking weird to find yourself suddenly dealing with depression....

I always considered myself a *very* resilient person beforehand

I'm exactly the same and had the same thing happen to me out of the blue five years ago after never experiencing it before. At least you have a good reason :). I really did not though it was triggered by something.

I still maintain that in addition to the almost undefinable feelings of love, it boils down to acceptance. "I see your missing pieces, and I still love you." This can be applied within or to others. Think about it... what happens when you don't accept something? You react. You get defensive. You may even lie or lash out in anger. These are things we've all done with ourselves and others, and they are the ultimate love killer.

I do think that acceptance and being able to forgive are things that come easier to some people than others. So the issue with this definition is for those people who have a tough time with that. Does it mean they cannot love others? I'm not so sure.
 

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"Love yourself before loving another."
"Love when you're ready, not when you're lonely."
"No one is going to love you if you don't love yourself."
"Learn how to be alone and like it."
Etc., etc., etc....

my first thought is, it is BS. It's like someone who runs over to a guy in a wheelchair saying, what's wrong why don't you use the stairs? Or stop complaining, you should love yourself. Well that there is the problem, the person who is saying that is not hearing the person who is complaining. Validation is important.

Reminds me of this movie:

Watch Videos Online | There're no naughty kids | Veoh.com

While there is certainly truth to these statements, it's simply not that easy for depressed individuals to consistently manifest these thoughts and feelings. They too deserve to be loved. As long as you've worked through any destructive behavior and you're mature enough to treat a potential lover with respect while respecting your own boundaries, then I say you are free to pursue a relationship, preferably with someone who acknowledges and accepts your depression and is willing to do their best to stand next to you when things get a little tough."

Depression is a sneaky bitch. It comes and it goes and then it comes back again just when you're thinking "oh hey... I think I finally beat this, I've been feeling pretty good for months." It lies to you, and for awhile you believe it. That's why it hurts so fucking bad. Does this mean that you are a failure who doesn't deserve love? My answer is a firm "NO." Some people are inherently more depressed when they are single. Depression also tends to come with a generous portion of guilt and shame. Reinforcing the belief that you are unworthy of love if if you cannot master happiness alone offers little more than a catalyst for darkness for those who suffer from depression.

Love is not a feeling. Sure, plenty of feelings accompany love, but the wisest amongst us have realized that love is an act; a decision you make repeatedly to your best abilities, even in the face of challenge. It is choosing another person everyday, so long as boundaries are not being crossed in a disrespectful manner. Love is understanding, forgiveness, and holding space for another you care about deeply.

Here is another personal definition of love I posted to my Facebook page not long ago:

"You can be broken, with bits of you falling away as you move through this world. When you find someone else, they can be broken too. Together, you can look at the debris behind and around both of you, acknowledging it and proclaiming 'I see your missing pieces and I still love you.' What you CANNOT do, under ANY circumstances, is pick up any fallen pieces of you or your lover and throw it at them. It doesn't matter who originally owned the piece you picked up; you're the one who used it as a weapon. That is not love. That is seeing a void and wanting to use pain to magnify it, and it is fucked up. It's also human, so add it to the rest of the debris and move on.
If you can do this, and you've found someone you really like who can do this, then congratulations; you've found love."

Let the discussion begin...

I don't know about that, if you are stating something as fact, but the other person perceiving it as criticism, then really who is at fault now? Are you saying that people cannot state facts? Or are you saying that there is a time and a place for it? Are you saying, that it is a weapon, because the person mentioning it, knows that it can be done better, and we shouldn't state things that can be done better? Or are we suppose to just let things slide constantly? And then there is that thing I said about silencing people, now the other party isn't allowed to talk, they are not being heard because of the fear of sounding of how they will be perceived. Now how is that helping. Things don't get better if we don't talk about it. Is the answer tact?
 

Yuurei

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I think that the word " love" is often used incorrectly. I think that people assume love the extreme form of "like".

But I think that love and like are two entirely different things.
To me it is easier to love than like. I can think of many people whom I love but do not like. Love-in it's most simple of. forms is a basic human right. To love means to wish no ill-will, to believe that people have the right to have and to be considered, to live and be treated with at least a modicum of respect and dignity. In this manner I'd say I love the vast majority of the human race. But at the same time I strongly dislike a 90% of them.

If you apply the same to yourself then self love is simple: you deserve to be here ( as much as anyone else) you deserve to be treated with the same basic respect and dignity as anyone else.
These are very simple things and without them I don't think anyone can really function in society.
 
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I find it interesting that the "thinkers" are referring to love as a feeling, and I'm a "feeler" over here referring to love as a choice/commitment/acceptance thing.

I think truthfully it has to be a combination of both or it will be lacking. Love that is based on only feelings will not last because feelings fluctuate. And choosing to be with someone everyday and fully accept them, even if reciprocated, will be lacking if there is no feeling/deep connection... I know I'm kind of stating the obvious here.

Obviously, I suffer from depression. Anxiety is an old friend, but the veil of depression started clouding my vision just 2 years ago. I'm 31 years old... that's kinda fucking weird to find yourself suddenly dealing with depression. Most depressed people I know are seasoned pros, so to speak, so it can be awkward and scary to find yourself suddenly lacking resiliency and self-esteem/worth/acceptance/love/insert whatever term necessary at a not-so-young age. I always considered myself a *very* resilient person beforehand and never lacked confidence in my relationships. Then, I married a wack-job who basically destroyed that part of me, and learning how to rebuild it has been by far the biggest challenge of my life. Ironically, I'm actually quite attractive by many societal standards, but as with loving others, it takes more than just good looks to love yourself. I also think that maybe I have a touch of "ugly duck syndrome." I digress.

What else besides feelings and "choosing" is crucial to love? I think my answer would be trust and respect. So, maybe it's not as much about "loving" yourself, because as we've established, it's difficult to even define love. So, maybe it is more about trusting and respecting yourself. If I don't trust myself, how can I trust that my feelings for my partner are real? How can I then trust that my partner's feelings for me are real if I'm feeling ambiguous about it at times? If I don't respect myself, I probably won't have solid boundaries set in place and I will probably be unable to respect my partner's boundaries too.

I still maintain that in addition to the almost undefinable feelings of love, it boils down to acceptance. "I see your missing pieces, and I still love you." This can be applied within or to others. Think about it... what happens when you don't accept something? You react. You get defensive. You may even lie or lash out in anger. These are things we've all done with ourselves and others, and they are the ultimate love killer.
I'm also 31. Had a severe bout of depression and anxiety about... 6-7 years ago, lasted for about 3-4 years. I'm on the other side of it now - awareness of my tendency to slide in that direction makes me take precautions against it. It's not at all related to age, but to what I've bolded. I too met someone who took away my sense of agency and identity, destroyed my self-esteem to the point where I questioned if I deserved to live. It does take a while to rebuild but you will gain a lot of resilience and self-knowledge from this.

Before, I too thought of myself as a really "tough" person. I'll borrow a metaphor to describe this. There's two types of toughness - a brittle toughness, like an oak tree, all stable, able to take a lot of hits/abuse, and it's still there after a hundred years. Then there's a whippy, young willow tree, that bends in the wind, roots holding firm. When a hurricane blows in, no matter how strong the oak tree is, in the face of 100mph winds, quite a few get uprooted. The willow tree bends in the wind, its flexibility allowing it to stay grounded, stay with its sense of self. You don't find the toughness that you lost before, since you can't go backwards and regain ignorance. Instead, you build a new resilience that holds you down even as everything whirls around you.

That's where the questions come from about your worth, and "loving" yourself. You need to find what's important to you again, look for things that you know are a part of you, and believe that all good and bad, are things to accept and appreciate. When someone continually points out the bad sides of you and makes you feel "less than", you train your own mind to look for the same things, and ignore the other sides of you that complete who you are. What's commonly known as "loving yourself" is choosing to focus on all aspects of yourself, to see your personhood as a given, your identity as a work in progress that is worth fighting for. This also relates to what you wrote about trust and respect. The only way to regain trust in and respect yourself is to commit to working on yourself, and observe yourself proving the nut-job wrong.

I also firmly believe that there aren't parts that are "missing" in anyone. I've struggled a lot with that feeling in a personal context. What we see in one context as "missing" is what gives us abilities/perspective in other areas. If we were to compare a person, a life, to a painting, the dark bits - the "missing" bits are as necessary to the whole picture as the bits that have colour. There would not be a coherence or a beauty without both. Our eyes are alternately drawn to the dark or the colour depending on where we are in life and what's happening around us. But both are always present, and both are always necessary. When we're depressed, all we can see is the darkest parts. There are some who will take advantage or manipulate to make it all that we can see. That creates a dependence on them for a sense of worth. That's the basis of co-dependence. There are also some who will tell you "just look at the light" - that's not helpful, because your brain is currently trained to see only the dark. Self-care and "self-love" is hard work and will take consistent effort because it's essentially re-training your brain to "zoom out" of the dark aspects of life and yourself to see the whole.

As for how it relates to "love" in the sense that you're describing, by knowing who you are, and having belief in yourself, you're less susceptible to manipulation. When others criticise who you are "inside" and drag out details and bits of "evidence" to support their case, you know that it's untrue. Or you will be at a point where you know that it's true, and you're like "so what? this supposed failing also enables me to do x, y and z, it gives me value". It's a form of protection that allows you to identify who is good for you, who helps you to grow/supports you and who is a manipulative nutjob. I don't believe that loving people is acceptance "even with" their "missing" bits. I believe that loving people is being able to see the humanity and potential in the supposed "missing" bits and encouraging us to express those aspects of ourselves in healthy, constructive ways.

*edit: Sorry the grammar's kinda all over the place. It's personal, obviously, and I often struggle with words for such stuff.
 

Peter Deadpan

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[MENTION=8936]highlander[/MENTION] - Depression can be rather enigmatic at times. I hope it has gotten easier for you to deal with. And that is a good point you make about love. I think I tend to be rather stubborn and feel like my way of thinking is the "right" way (duh... INFJ...). It has probably caused me some difficulty recognizing my exes ways of expressing love toward me. Hindsight is 20/20.
[MENTION=20044]chubber[/MENTION] - I think I see what you are saying. I guess I was metaphorically trying to say that we are all going to be able to spot insecurities and fears in our partners eventually, but if you choose to use those as a point of criticism, you are essentially adding to their pain instead of loving them. If those insecurities/fears are leading to unhealthy coping mechanism or mistreatment toward you, then yes - you should respectfully communicate this to your partner and establish boundaries that make you comfortable. When those boundaries are repeatedly crossed, it's no longer "love."
[MENTION=5076]nonsequitur[/MENTION] - I appreciate your insight. I have been physically away from my abusive ex for over 2 years, but I can never really truly "get away" because we have 2 kids together. Our divorce was finalized like a week ago. He still harasses me in typical psychological abuser fashion via text message. I do my best to completely ignore it but sometimes what he says still sinks in deeper than I would like. Recovery takes time but I'm really happy with where I am today and know I'm only going to get stronger. If there is a positive to it, it's that I now know exactly what my boundaries are and I am quite adept at spotting red flags. I also have become quite passionate about spreading awareness about psychological abuse and its effects, such as depression and complex-PTSD. I guess when I said "missing pieces," I meant insecurities and fears. As an INFJ, I can usually figure out what people are afraid of or at least how their past experiences have affected them emotionally and mentally. To me, there is no greater act of love than seeing those parts of someone and consciously choosing to NEVER use them against someone. (This is separate from confronting unhealthy coping mechanisms or mistreatment toward others). That's easier said than done, but in my opinion, that's the real-life example of not focusing on the dark spots of a painting.
 

highlander

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I think that the word " love" is often used incorrectly. I think that people assume love the extreme form of "like". But I think that love and like are two entirely different things. To me it is easier to love than like. I can think of many people whom I love but do not like. Love-in it's most simple of. forms is a basic human right. To love means to wish no ill-will, to believe that people have the right to have and to be considered, to live and be treated with at least a modicum of respect and dignity. In this manner I'd say I love the vast majority of the human race. But at the same time I strongly dislike a 90% of them.
That definition you are using doesn't resonate with me at all. I like everyone. I tend to see the good in everyone. I even like people who I have strong disagreements with and whose values and priorities I have a conflict with. The way I look at it everyone has a right to be the person they want to be and have the opinions and feelings they have. I only have a problem with it when they cause harm to others in which case I will tend to dislike those behaviors and may call them out on them. There are are very few people I truly disdain and it's because they did something to me personally or others I care about. Love is a totally different matter. I love very few people. My definition and yours appear to be completely opposite.

Before, I too thought of myself as a really "tough" person. I'll borrow a metaphor to describe this. There's two types of toughness - a brittle toughness, like an oak tree, all stable, able to take a lot of hits/abuse, and it's still there after a hundred years. Then there's a whippy, young willow tree, that bends in the wind, roots holding firm. When a hurricane blows in, no matter how strong the oak tree is, in the face of 100mph winds, quite a few get uprooted. The willow tree bends in the wind, its flexibility allowing it to stay grounded, stay with its sense of self. You don't find the toughness that you lost before, since you can't go backwards and regain ignorance. Instead, you build a new resilience that holds you down even as everything whirls around you. That's where the questions come from about your worth, and "loving" yourself. You need to find what's important to you again, look for things that you know are a part of you, and believe that all good and bad, are things to accept and appreciate. When someone continually points out the bad sides of you and makes you feel "less than", you train your own mind to look for the same things, and ignore the other sides of you that complete who you are. What's commonly known as "loving yourself" is choosing to focus on all aspects of yourself, to see your personhood as a given, your identity as a work in progress that is worth fighting for. This also relates to what you wrote about trust and respect. The only way to regain trust in and respect yourself is to commit to working on yourself, and observe yourself proving the nut-job wrong. I also firmly believe that there aren't parts that are "missing" in anyone. I've struggled a lot with that feeling in a personal context. What we see in one context as "missing" is what gives us abilities/perspective in other areas.
I agree with most all of what you said. To put things a little differently though if I am a birch tree I am susceptible to birch borers. Oak trees and willows are susceptible to neither. What can be a hurricane to one person, another can bounce back from easily. What I have learned is that resilience is like this. Separately with respect to your other point, when you lose a significant early relationship, you can feel like you've lost a part of yourself. I don't know if it is lost innocence or what but I think that is very real. The ability to trust without reservation is a thing which can be lost or made much more difficult for example. They don't have to be a whack job. It can be a betrayal of trust or maybe not even that - just some kind of breach of loyalty, an aspect of which you have built up in your own mind. The point is that we own our experience to those things that occur around us. We may not be able to control our reactions and feelings but we need to own the fact that they are our reactions and feelings. We tend to blame others for what has happened to us which is not always the most effective thing to do because it fails to help us take any personal responsibility or recognize what we can do differently moving forward. Sometimes outcomes ARE someone else's fault. In either case grief is grief and regardless as to whose fault anything is, it can be very difficult and the response to it is very much individualized.
 

VILLANELLE

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Why do you have to be perfect and love yourself before you find someone? You can't be completely depend on someone for that, that's unhealthy.. the road to self-love and confidence and all of that shit is hard. I'm struggling to do it still. But I believe we don't have to be perfect, or whatever, to be loved. :shrug:
 

Yuurei

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That definition you are using doesn't resonate with me at all. I like everyone. I tend to see the good in everyone. I even like people who I have strong disagreements with and whose values and priorities I have a conflict with. The way I look at it everyone has a right to be the person they want to be and have the opinions and feelings they have. I only have a problem with it when they cause harm to others in which case I will tend to dislike those behaviors and may call them out on them. There are are very few people I truly disdain and it's because they did something to me personally or others I care about. Love is a totally different matter. I love very few people. My definition and yours appear to be completely opposite.

When did I say that people should not be able to be who they want to or to have their own opinions? That is part of respect and dignity.

And so what if they are opposite? Just don't comment then. I'm not here to argue.
 

highlander

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When did I say that people should not be able to be who they want to or to have their own opinions? That is part of respect and dignity. And so what if they are opposite? Just don't comment then. I'm not here to argue.


I actually think you and I have a fundamental disagreement on what is meant by love so it is quite relevant to the OP as well as the points you raise which I mostly disagreed with. Are you saying it's not ok to disagree with you? That might be a core reason why I have a problem with what you are saying.
 

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Why do you have to be perfect and love yourself before you find someone? You can't be completely depend on someone for that, that's unhealthy.. the road to self-love and confidence and all of that shit is hard. I'm struggling to do it still. But I believe we don't have to be perfect, or whatever, to be loved. :shrug:

Because if you don't love yourself, how can you love someone else? You don't know how. You need help to learn how, like any other skill. You don't try to learn this off the back of a relationship - you find professional help that you can trust to give you tools and guidance.

Not everyone loves the same way. People can love deeply but it's not always going to match what another person is able to receive or even recognize. That also takes time to learn and accept in others and some never learn or accept this.
 

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Because if you don't love yourself, how can you love someone else? You don't know how. You need help to learn how, like any other skill. You don't try to learn this off the back of a relationship - you find professional help that you can trust to give you tools and guidance.

Not everyone loves the same way. People can love deeply but it's not always going to match what another person is able to receive or even recognize. That also takes time to learn and accept in others and some never learn or accept this.

And what if you don't fully love yourself, does that mean you don't deserve love at all? I don't think we have to be 100% perfectly okay with ourselves to find love. Nobody is completely perfect when they find friends, or a job, or whatever else in life, right? So why do we have to be 100% when it comes to love? That's ridiculous.
 

Magic Poriferan

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sx/sp
Because if you don't love yourself, how can you love someone else?

Because those two things seem unrelated. When I see this question, my first impulse to ask "why couldn't I?". The reasoning here is not at all obvious to me.

You don't know how. You need help to learn how, like any other skill. You don't try to learn this off the back of a relationship - you find professional help that you can trust to give you tools and guidance.

I don't think a lack of a feeling directed toward oneself means that a person does not know how to have that feeling toward others. The same can be said of behavior. The fact that a person does not treat themselves a certain doesn't mean they can't or won't treat other people a certain way.

The whole Self therefore Other thing is still striking me as a non-sequitur. Like, if Chewbacca is a Wookie, I must acquit.
 

Yuurei

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I actually think you and I have a fundamental disagreement on what is meant by love so it is quite relevant to the OP as well as the points you raise which I mostly disagreed with. Are you saying it's not ok to disagree with you? That might be a core reason why I have a problem with what you are saying.

:huh:


What? You just said that are the one who has a problem with my opinion. Why? Why does a differing opinion even need to be a problem?
And no, it could not possibly be a " Core reason" because nowhere in my original post did I argue against anyone's opinion. I simply stated my own. In the second, I corrected your misunderstanding. Nowhere at all did I express any contempt towards any dissenting opinions.


I have no problem with you're differing opinion. If anything I just don't see why I should care. Yes, people sometimes disagree with me...so?

Are You going to vehemently argue with me until you sway my opinion because it's so important that I know I'm wrong and you're right?
Not likely.
Do I have to argue with you because I am obligated to explain or justify myself to you? Nope.

You're disagreement has been noted. Now move on.
 
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