Is there anything wrong with just being?

[Avocado]

I can be so much at peace just detaching and not caring for anything beyond my inner realms. I can make them quiet, and the only things I really desire are plentiful tasty food and a warm, fuzzy shelter. Maybe those things aren't bare minimum, but its enough. I see people like my mother who are always so high-strung and perfectionist about things they have no control over. Besides voting and running for office, you can't change government, and even when you do those things, its a gradual process that you chip away at little by little what you are fighting. You can't change the past, only learn from it. People get so angry over things that are past when all they are doing is punishing themselves with anger. Its best to let whatever is due to unfold unfold, and not be bothered with problems beyond your scope. Just do what is in your power to shape your immediate future favorably based on past data and review with a clear head if you are facing undesirable consequences. All can be worked with even if it cannot be changed. Stilling the mind and seeking peace are most important.

 

[Typh0n]

I like what Epicurius had to say about worrying and inner peace. He said that when you worry you have to ask yourself if its something you have control over, if it depends on you or not; there are some things that depend on us, others don't. If you worry about those things that you can't control, like the past, or dominanting other people's will, or forcing others to like you (if such were possible), or just events you can't control like physical death, then you will stress yourself needlessly. However, the oppsoite attitude is also wrong to him; if you are passive and cynical about everything, like "oh I can't do anything about that", when in fact, you can, then thats also irresponsible. I don't belive in being passive, due to my personality though I kinda have to work being more indifferent to what happens and not want to control everything. Thats me, some folks are the other way around.

 

[Avocado]

I like what Epicurius had to say about worrying and inner peace. He said that when you worry you have to ask yourself if its something you have control over, if it depends on you or not; there are some things that depend on us, others don't. If you worry about those things that you can't control, like the past, or dominanting other people's will, or forcing others to like you (if such were possible), or just events you can't control like physical death, then you will stress yourself needlessly. However, the oppsoite attitude is also wrong to him; if you are passive and cynical about everything, like "oh I can't do anything about that", when in fact, you can, then thats also irresponsible. I don't belive in being passive, due to my personality though I kinda have to work being more indifferent to what happens and not want to control everything. Thats me, some folks are the other way around.

I overlooked 4 discussion forums in this online class and my mom has been bugging me about it and while I am a little upset I didn't see those and will get a C at best, my mom is acting like I can timewarp back and fix whereas I've already accepted that at least I will pass since I did well at the assignments I did see.

 

[Mole]

Yes, there is something wrong with just being, because being and doing are in a dynamic relationship. And focusing on just one leaves us unbalanced.

We can approach doing through being and being though doing. What we do affects our being and how we be affects our doing.

The secret to happiness is Alternance, alternating between being and doing, at best it is a graceful dance.

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

I can be so much at peace just detaching and not caring for anything beyond my inner realms. I can make them quiet, and the only things I really desire are plentiful tasty food and a warm, fuzzy shelter. Maybe those things aren't bare minimum, but its enough. I see people like my mother who are always so high-strung and perfectionist about things they have no control over. Besides voting and running for office, you can't change government, and even when you do those things, its a gradual process that you chip away at little by little what you are fighting. You can't change the past, only learn from it. People get so angry over things that are past when all they are doing is punishing themselves with anger. Its best to let whatever is due to unfold unfold, and not be bothered with problems beyond your scope. Just do what is in your power to shape your immediate future favorably based on past data and review with a clear head if you are facing undesirable consequences. All can be worked with even if it cannot be changed. Stilling the mind and seeking peace are most important.

Your mum probably has the emotional or action as a dominant function.

Learning good lessons from negative experiences requires energy too. Even if it is mental, this still means working on something, with consciousness to improve your well-being/avoid suffering.

I agree with you that anger can give the illusion that one masters his/her own fears by spending their energy this way. It's also a question of temper and consciousness...

Just do what is in your power to shape your immediate future favorably based on past data and review with a clear head if you are facing undesirable consequences

Not everyone is able to refresh his/her own mind... and have willpower over it. Willpower requires strength, and this strength (self-control) is a quality.

If everyone had this quality we would all be leaders. Useless to say : It would be a total mess !

 

[Avocado]

Your mum probably has the emotional or action as a dominant function.

Learning good lessons from negative experiences requires energy too. Even if it is mental, this still means working on something, with consciousness to improve your well-being/avoid suffering.

I agree with you that anger can give the illusion that one masters his/her own fears by spending their energy this way. It's also a question of temper and consciousness...

Just do what is in your power to shape your immediate future favorably based on past data and review with a clear head if you are facing undesirable consequences

Not everyone is able to refresh his/her own mind... and have willpower over it. Willpower requires strength, and this strength (self-control) is a quality.

If everyone had this quality we would all be leaders. Useless to say : It would be a total mess !

She always thought MBTI and enneagram were a waste of time, but she eventually took the tests and she is an ESTJ 1w2 Sx/Sp.

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

She always thought MBTI and enneagram were a waste of time, but she eventually took the tests and she is an ESTJ 1w2 Sx/Sp.

My mum is an unhealthy ESFJ, which isn't better

Anyway, lost in translation now, was the subject "being a very unhealthy mum or not to be" ?

 

[Avocado]

My mum is an unhealthy ESFJ, which isn't better

Anyway, lost in translation now, was the subject "being a very unhealthy mum or not to be" ?

I'm the opposite of her in most ways. I'm laughing at myself because I was freaking out for not getting all my points for a weekly assignment I did, only to forget about the weekly assignment the rest of the semester and losing 30% of my grade. She is still berating me over it, but I say the damage is already done and all I can do is admit I'm forgetful and that I need to remember to set more reminders on my phone for important things, which I do already, but I forget things a lot, still.

 

[Kierva]

I can be so much at peace just detaching and not caring for anything beyond my inner realms. I can make them quiet, and the only things I really desire are plentiful tasty food and a warm, fuzzy shelter. Maybe those things aren't bare minimum, but its enough. I see people like my mother who are always so high-strung and perfectionist about things they have no control over. Besides voting and running for office, you can't change government, and even when you do those things, its a gradual process that you chip away at little by little what you are fighting. You can't change the past, only learn from it. People get so angry over things that are past when all they are doing is punishing themselves with anger. Its best to let whatever is due to unfold unfold, and not be bothered with problems beyond your scope. Just do what is in your power to shape your immediate future favorably based on past data and review with a clear head if you are facing undesirable consequences. All can be worked with even if it cannot be changed. Stilling the mind and seeking peace are most important.

Is that not the point of happiness and serenity?

 

[Pionart]

yes there is not

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

Your mum probably has the emotional or action as a dominant function.

Learning good lessons from negative experiences requires energy too. Even if it is mental, this still means working on something, with consciousness to improve your well-being/avoid suffering.

I agree with you that anger can give the illusion that one masters his/her own fears by spending their energy this way. It's also a question of temper and consciousness...

Just do what is in your power to shape your immediate future favorably based on past data and review with a clear head if you are facing undesirable consequences

Not everyone is able to refresh his/her own mind... and have willpower over it. Willpower requires strength, and this strength (self-control) is a quality.

If everyone had this quality we would all be leaders. Useless to say : It would be a total mess !

I'm just re-posting because I love this so much.

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

I'm the opposite of her in most ways. I'm laughing at myself because I was freaking out for not getting all my points for a weekly assignment I did, only to forget about the weekly assignment the rest of the semester and losing 30% of my grade. She is still berating me over it, but I say the damage is already done and all I can do is admit I'm forgetful and that I need to remember to set more reminders on my phone for important things, which I do already, but I forget things a lot, still.

It seems you're not the perfect man. As I'm not the perfect woman. For some of our parents not having a perfect child is like being in hell.

They have the choice... to accept and encourage you or not. One of my parents chose "hell", I chose "heaven".

Finally it's good too not to have perfect parents, even if we still can't get on well, we should here again learn something ...

Oh boy it's difficult sometimes... As a conclusion I'd just say "there is nothing wrong with being in hell and nothing wrong in being in heaven"

There is something wrong about wanting the others to follow you "in hell" or in "heaven".

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

I'm just re-posting because I love this so much.

I'm still working hard with patience and tolerance to tell you the truth... Some events in life apparently give you no choice.

 

[MisteurFox]

Just being is all right, but it can lead to inaction sometimes... or a constant state of dreaming about stuff. It's about keeping interest in the "doing" aspect of life, which is just as essential as being/meditating.