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  1. #1
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    Default Is there any place time where it's okay to talk about anything outside regular life?

    I've just noticed generally when it comes to most places or social situations and people it's generally not acceptable or okay to talk about topics that aren't related to the going's on of regular or everyday life, and I was just wondering if it's ever considered okay or acceptable anywhere?

    It seems only really okay to talk about things you buy, what you eat and things like that, and nothing really else. Even if you try to talk about deeper things behind those they are kind of shunned or not wanted. It really seems to offend/frighten or scare people.
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    Problem? Grand Admiral Crunch's Avatar
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    This is more related to who you're talking to than a place or time imo. Sometimes, people aren't interested in certain subject matters, can't participate in the conversation for fear of looking stupid, are distrustful and think you have an agenda, or are too hot tempered to have certain conversations, ime.

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    Member Lillita's Avatar
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    I've noticed that too. It's like a pre-written script of social niceties with no one being themselves, haha. What's really funny is the reactions when you reject the script.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lillita View Post
    I've noticed that too. It's like a pre-written script of social niceties with no one being themselves, haha. What's really funny is the reactions when you reject the script.
    Well I have read in numerous places that it's very much a social norms thing for western society especially to be focused on being practical or very pragmatic and thus anything outside of that doesn't seem to really matter. I've noticed that most conversations as well that linger on most topics generally can only be sarcastic, cynical or witticism.

    I guess it's really dependent on whether or not you are an extrovert or not as well...

    Are introverts and intuitives as well really that rare? It's really hard to find people I can relate or talk to, and even with other self identified N's they are still kind of act the same way. I mean, I was reprimanded by an INTP I knew who would criticize me for not being more socially acceptable/outgoing, well mannered or just basically conforming enough to standards that don't come natural or fit my nature. I've also met some INFP's who were kind of strict and thought basically you know, same case with the INTP really.

    There was only one other person, an ENFP who I got along with out of all the other N's who knew there type, I don't think anybody liked her though and she wasn't accepted as well. It was really stupid and people would get mad at her or judge her simply by not acting or thinking the right way. I kind of wish I kept in touch with her now.

    It's like there's this weird smoke screen too and even if the tradition is not true or doesn't really hold much credence to a topic or situation everyone will stick to it like dogma or religion. The tradition or social norm is always right or the matter and topic doesn't exist if it doesn't easily fit into it either.
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    It's really weird too, one of the INFP girls that I had a fair amount of common with was kind of "hippie" and had some dreads was all in to hemp and veganism and that stuff, eastern philosophy, she was super cute; but she shunned or looked down on alternative people and was actually kind of conservative, or maybe "neo-liberal" is the word? I think a lot of people now who consider themselves on the left are really sort of just neo-liberals and...it's a very different concept.

    She was kind of judgemental, and strict, old-fashioned. I have actually found this new resurgence of hippies or whatever they consider themselves "neo-liberals" are actually all quite conservative ironically. But not really even "let's go back to the 60's/70's" though, I suppose that's what some of it is but what's wrong is they think everyone should think or act that way, and they are staunchly stuck in the past. It's really ironic and weird.

    But I think she turned against all that stuff because she realized that most of the world doesn't accept or disavows it but it's like she accepted it as real truth instead of it simply being the existing social order or some such thing and decided to hold it against everyone else. That whole "THIS IS THE WAY THE WORLD, YOUR NOT SPECIAL WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT" kind of thing.

    And there was one INFJ, but she seemed more like an ENTJ, lol. She thought I was really weird, but she was more to earth, but more like "THE WAY I THINK IS REALITY, THERE ARE NO OTHER POSSIBILITIES, MYSTERIES IN THE WORLD" kind of vibe from her where reality is completely decided upon or set in stone and anything kind of divergent is weird or abnormal.

    Oh and one thing that's sooooooooooo annoying and hypocritical is that liberalism was originally supposed to be about accepting diversity and those who are from other walks of life a bit more, but the only diversity any cares about is sexual preferences or some stupid thing.

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    is indra's Avatar
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    I bring up obscure topics always, I never have problems.
    tiny purple fishes run laughing through your fingers
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunyata View Post
    I bring up obscure topics always, I never have problems.
    Such as? science or nerdy stuff is pretty neutral.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Blackout View Post
    Oh and one thing that's sooooooooooo annoying and hypocritical is that liberalism was originally supposed to be about accepting diversity and those who are from other walks of life a bit more, but the only diversity any cares about is sexual preferences or some stupid thing.
    You're noticing values-based discrepancies, and learning how to articulate this. Be aware that most people have no perspective on how the things they denounce in one breath are near-exactly the things that they condone in the next. You will not be popular in pointing it out, nor will you meet with a receptive audience regarding these topics in general, primarily because the vast majority of people have either no trouble with their own self-serving / double-standards OR (mostly) truly lack sufficient insight into themselves to see this discrepancy.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
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    "When people see some things as beautiful,
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    When people see some things as good,
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  9. #9
    Unapologetic being Evo's Avatar
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    I've noticed it. But I think it depends on who I'm talking to. I think this is why I tend to want to talk to people with sx. They get to the deep shit without having to buffer their presentation every time. With my friends I've made it a thing to just randomly start talking about ideas and concepts. I cannot do this with some friends though.

    Now that I wrote that whole thing out, I have no idea if I'm talking about the thing as you.
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

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  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    I've noticed it. But I think it depends on who I'm talking to. I think this is why I tend to want to talk to people with sx. They get to the deep shit without having to buffer their presentation every time. With my friends I've made it a thing to just randomly start talking about ideas and concepts. I cannot do this with some friends though.

    Now that I wrote that whole thing out, I have no idea if I'm talking about the thing as you.
    Some of us talk about ideas and concepts because we are uncomfortable with our feelings. And so we rush back to ideas and concepts rather than talking about our feelings.

    Not being able to talk about our feelings with those close to us is a real disability, and certainly puts the kibosh on warm relationships.

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