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What does it mean to "be yourself"

XV25

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Serious question. I don't understand what people mean when they say it. I know it is a bit of a cliche question but I have never actually asked for other people's input on it before so give me a break!

On its face it is pretty simple, act in accordance with your values and desires. I guess? The problem is, I can't think of a situation where you can do anything but do so. I don't see how you can ever be anything but yourself.

At first I think that means don't do things you don't want to do or seem dissonant with your personality. But, no, that can't be right. I often put myself in situations, usually social, where I am uncomfortable and must adopt new behaviors because aspects of my personality compel me to do so. I put myself in an unfamiliar social situation, like dancing, in order to branch out and be less shite in those situations, which I would call "being true to myself". OR, or, I could stay home and not do those things because I know I will not enjoy it and its not really "me", even though I know its important for my personal development.

I guess what I am saying is it seems very easy to justify any action as being true to yourself, depending on how you approach it.

So I'm looking for some perspective. What does in mean to you to "be yourself", and how do you use the concept of being yourself to model your behavior, if at all?
 

geedoenfj

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What does it mean to "be yourself"

I can understand that this phrase is over played "be yourself" and can be used in many contexts and different reasons..
In my personal opinion, it's about not faking an identity or lie about things so you could make certain people like you, but without going against the values and protocols of the society, and also without letting others step on your toes while you keep being nice to them for the courtesy sake, you also got to know where your limitations lies and where others' limitations are..
But on the others hand, I think faking some good manners or behaviors for purpose of adapting them in the long run is not faking an identity, it's a part of growing up and enhancing your self being..
 

Qlip

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I think the only thing it really can mean is, "Act consistent, which I assume means you are being yourself, but that isn't really my concern."

Yourself involves such a complex intersection between the world and everything inside your skinbag that a one off comment like that is useless as it sounds like it's intended.
 

the state i am in

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however flawed and misdirected you are, you still have to trust yourself and life enough to stay with it. without this self-trust, you can never really respect the power of your own choice, and without that, you can never really respect the responsibility that arises. bc as you pay attention, you learn ways of doing better and using your experience better. and you can also get better at paying attention to others experience, because you are not afraid that their opinion will simply take over yours, but will instead only inform yours.
 

gromit

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It means don't force it. Don't try to be the opposite of your personality, because it will come across as isincere or trying too hard.
 

Mole

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Americans make the distinction between sincere and phoney, and they want to be sincere but are tempted to be phoney, giving rise to the saying in America, when you can fake sincerity in America, you've got it made.

So Americans want to be good and be their true, sincere selves, but are constantly tempted to be their insincere, phoney false selves for advantage.
 

á´…eparted

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Americans make the distinction between sincere and phoney, and they want to be sincere but are tempted to be phoney, giving rise to the saying in America, when you can fake sincerity in America, you've got it made.

So Americans want to be good and be their true, sincere selves, but are constantly tempted to be their insincere, phoney false selves for advantage.

This post would be good if you didn't use the word america as you have. No surprise there though.
 

Santosha

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I agree, you can not, not be yourself.

But you can be a self that gets in touch with its own intuitions, feelings, thoughts and desires
or a self that disallows this intuition and becomes dependent on the external to inform them

You can express your feelings and thoughts, even against great opposition
or you can obfuscate them (usually) in an attempt to be safe, liked, or 'free'

Whatever route one takes, is still an expression of the self.

Some expressions are just much more enjoyable and rewarding.

Which can only meaningfully be judged by the experiencer.
 

Evo

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I think you have to experience it to know it.
 

CitizenErased

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I agree that one is always oneself, because even if we choose to act like someone else in determined situation or according to something you don't believe in, it's still what YOU chose, therefore an expression of yourself at a specific place and time. What I believe the "be yourself" saying means is act in the way that feels more comfortable to you, regardless of what surrounds you. At least that is what I understand from it.
 

rmrf

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zhs4IB7.jpg
 

Mole

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With Sigmund Freud's discovery of the unconscious, we knew the conscious hides the unconscious feeling and thoughts from itself.

So the conscious is inherently phoney.

We can though start the journey to authenticity, by discovering our unconscious thoughts and feelings.

The end of the journey is someone who is being themself, who is comfortable in their own skin, who is authentic, and can be open and share themselves with others.

The journey to oneself is delicate, difficult, and sophisticated. For most of us it is difficult to take the first steps, so it is wise to ask for help in starting off the journey. For once we get a taste for self discovery, we can continue by ourselves.

The alternative is to become more and more absurd the older we get.
 

Zangetshumody

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free will.

Although I don't think I will explore that topic in this thread, as it seems like a separate ground needing to make long thought out correlations between: fractured intelligence, false ego, self-identity, external loci for control (including "moral knowledge" claims used to justify such externalizations that cast shadows onto the unconscious-self).
 

meme duchess

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To act how you naturally would regardless of external circumstances. But whether or not people actually want you to do that is a bit more debatable. Really depends on the context, I suppose. Be yourself, but be conscious that that self is the the best "you" possible.
 

Kanra Jest

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I was told to be myself because I was dressing dark and my family didn't like it. Who are largely Christian and catholic... they didn't like it because I didn't look like I was suppose to look. In that way, "be yourself" meant be as I should be. Am expected to be. Which kind of perverts the originally intended meaning.
 

Mole

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I was told to be myself because I was dressing dark and my family didn't like it. Who are largely Christian and catholic... they didn't like it because I didn't look like I was suppose to look. In that way, "be yourself" meant be as I should be. Am expected to be. Which kind of perverts the originally intended meaning.

If we are dependent emotionally and financially on our parents, our first step in becoming ourselves is to become emotionally and financially independent.

But this is only the first step and becoming ourselves is a lifelong task, a journey from narcissistic dependence to our creative self.

Our society doesn't speak of this journey, nor does it encourage it. Rather it encourages narcissistic dependence, a kind of learned helplessness, kind of cute like children, because childish adults are easier to control.
 

Forever

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I think the only thing it really can mean is, "Act consistent, which I assume means you are being yourself, but that isn't really my concern."

Yourself involves such a complex intersection between the world and everything inside your skinbag that a one off comment like that is useless as it sounds like it's intended.

YES

Like my very first date told me over 5 years ago, be yourself.

What do you mean?

Just be yourself you know.

*inside thinking but I am myself because that's who I am to come and see you at this point of my life*

Uh okay.

*really sad and depressed for the rest of the date*
 

Galena

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A piece of advice that helps less than it evokes humiliating memories of those moments where we've misunderstood it.

Just be consistent, and don't force anything you're not honestly okay with.
 
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At the lower end of the spectrum I think it means hedonism. At the higher end of the spectrum I think it means dedicating one's self moment to moment to one's goals
 
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