Personal Growth

[Mole]

This thread aims at being a service to those pursuing personal growth.

For instance, one of the first personal growth centres was and remains Esalen at Big Sur California (click on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVo92yoLhaY )

The idea of personal growth depends on a developmental view of our psyche.

We are born as somewhat helpless babes, and develop into todlers then children, then adolescents, then adults, then middle aged, then old age, then death.

We are growing all through our life.

And we achieve or partially achieve our life tasks or psychological milestones.

And in prosperous societies it seems our most important life tasks are now psychological. So we are interested in the personal growth of our psyche.

Most religions and ways of life have practices such as meditation, dancing, chanting and many others that lead us in personal growth. And indeed there are also secular practices of personal growth such as Sam Harris' Spirituality Without Religion.

So do you have a regular discipline or practice you follow in your own personal growth?

 

[Opal]

Lately, I ride out negative emotions alone, then examine their roots. I aim to be consistently capable of understanding, forgiving, and remembering the goal of mutual growth before acting.

 

[Cellmold]

I see what happens, then I happen and I see.

 

[Kanra Jest]

Yoga helps relief stress both physically and mentally

 

[fetus]

Dealing with emotions: accept without judgement and ride the wave.

Accept: I'm feeling this way. Right now, I'm not happy. These are my emotions, and I'm not going to deny them.
Without judgement: It's okay to feel this way. I'm not a bad person for having these thoughts or emotions. These feelings do not define who I am. I won't get down on myself for having these emotions.
Ride the wave: I'm not going to try to bury these emotions where I can't ever find them. I'm not going to tease these emotions or exacerbate them. I will remain calm and let the emotions run their course, because I know they don't last forever.

 

[Mole]

Hearing the Call of a Discipline

A discipline or a practice is at first mechanical because is it is something unfamiliar. It is not something we take for granted. It is something we do by an act of will. But as we faithfully practice our chosen discipline, it becomes part of ourselves.

And a chosen discipline or practice is mechanical for quite a long time - for about 21 days, for that is how long it takes to form a habit.

If we think we can practice a discipline naturally and easily, we are mistaken.

And it is very important to wisely choose a discipline to follow, because a discipline is not easy to follow, and it is like dynamite - it changes us in profound ways.

And there are those who feel the call of a discipline and those who don't.

 

[Anomoly]

how do you go about choosing a discipline?

 

[Mole]

how do you go about choosing a discipline?

It is an important choice because it affects the kind of person we are becoming. So a lot depends on where we are coming from. If we are coming from a tradition that with a time honoured discipline or practice, it might be a good idea to start there.

On the other hand if we are not sure where to start, we might explore various traditions to see which one suits our values best.

It may surprise you but Empathy Training is a discipline that doesn't come naturally but which can be learnt. And it is a very helpful skill to have.

On the other hand learning physically relaxation leading to mental relaxation is a wonderful discipline that leads to the reduction of anxiety and the increase in pleasure. This is taught very well by Ainslie Mears' book Relief Without Drugs.

The Wave discipline sets up metabolic waves in the body which lead to a greater sense of life though interval dancing and relaxing.

And there are a myriad of other practices and disciplines, but they are all like learning to play the piano (only we are the piano).

So we are learning to play ourselves like a musical instrument, and like a musical instrument we require practice, practice and practice until we can make music.