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Possession in relationships, Sartre and others

Bamboo

New member
Joined
Jan 28, 2009
Messages
2,689
MBTI Type
XXFP
Inspired in part by "You Should Date an Illiterate Girl", I went out to gain some literacy.

So I read some paraphrased Sartre, he claimed that we enter into relationships in order posses another person and their consciousness - the goal being gaining access to an objective, outside understanding that could help us understand ourselves.

I personally find this somewhat contentious, but I'll jive with the concept that I value my partners perspective and ability to understand the world around them. Do I aim to truly possess their consciousness? Well, I don't find myself comfortable with the possession concept, but I do hope to find someone who's opinions and perspectives I can trust, if not totally, at least in part, if I would like to have some counsel.

In this case an intelligent partner has a large advantage, although it depends what I seek counsel on.

I have found it difficult to get advice from friends about what they really think about how I'm doing things, I assumed this was a way for them to avoid confronting me with something uncomfortable or was an effort to spare my feelings, but I wonder if Sartre is right, and that I have not done enough to possess them (though he claimed that this process was inevitably flawed).

I found it interesting also how competitive his concept of this possession seemed rather than cooperative, but I have found those existential types to be odd ones.

Thoughts?
 

Rasofy

royal member
Joined
Mar 7, 2011
Messages
5,881
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I think this theory is closely connected to the needs of the director type (Helen Fisher has a personality theory that divides people into builders, artisans, directors and negotiators). In other words, I believe this priority is far from being universal.

That said, I relate.
 

UniqueMixture

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Mar 5, 2012
Messages
3,004
MBTI Type
estj
Enneagram
378
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I think the point is more that relationships in general act as mirrors for self discovery. Having a sense of holistic being where as you change in real time that change is reflected in the interaction with the other and vice versa. This allows those involved to exist as a continuous process, a sensory - stimuli network that has recursive effects on itself and grows into a consciousness of appreciation and kindness, the feeling we call love.
 

cafe

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
9,827
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
I don't want an objective understanding of myself. I'd probably blow my brains out if I ever really got that.

One of the perks of 'possessing' a partner is that they are now part of my clan and no longer see me objectively, but through a lens of loyalty and belonging. How else is someone going to put up with me?

I like having a brain that is in alliance with me to help me understand other stuff, though. Two heads are better than one, as they say.
 
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