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Your relationship to money

Lark

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Do you think its determined by your childhood? So if you've been rich but started out poor do you remain "cheap"? Either because you value it too much or enjoy being rich too much?
 
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sprinkles

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I think it's more about psychology.

Some people just cannot keep money. It's like they are some kind of sick, like a spending addiction. I've seen people come into a good chunk of money and then throw it all away just to end up poor again.

Also I think hand to mouth living might be somehow instinctive and some people simply don't have the foresight to even think about the future just a little bit. It's like being color blind - they just don't seem to have the ability.
 

cafe

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There's a Cracked article related to this that seems fairly accurate to me. I'm still working on overcoming some of the bad money habits I have from growing up poor. Unfortunately, I probably will not have managed it in time to avoid passing some of them on to my kids.
 

swordpath

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Money in, money out for me... But I've never made good money. I want to do better in saving once I have a full-time job.
 

sprinkles

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There's a Cracked article related to this that seems fairly accurate to me. I'm still working on overcoming some of the bad money habits I have from growing up poor. Unfortunately, I probably will not have managed it in time to avoid passing some of them on to my kids.

Yeah I'd say that's spot on. I've seen a lot of it personally.

Another habit I've seen (and my mother did this one a LOT) is rather than pay off one debt when the opportunity presents itself, especially if you can let the others slide for one month, she tried to put a little on all of them. It's basically throwing money away when they start tacking on interest and fees.

It should be like: catch up the rent, bam - more income is free to catch up on the next thing. This is now paid off, bam - now it isn't sucking up our funds and we can pay this other thing off too. She wouldn't do it though. She'd maintain the same debts forever and ever and make new ones borrowing money from people and not paying them back either.
 

ms.behaving

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Do you think its determined by your childhood? So if you've been rich but started out poor do you remain "cheap"? Either because you value it too much or enjoy being rich too much?

Yes! My dad always bought me whatever I wanted. My husband has done a good job at teaching me how to manage money.
 

ygolo

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Aug 6, 2007
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I've gone through cycles. Usually, I can save well.

But there have been periods in my life where I have spent obscene amounts of money in one night. Hopefully, those spending sprees are over.
 

Randomnity

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I think it is definitely influenced by your childhood, but personality matters a lot too. I have 3 sisters - 2 of us are pretty thrifty, bordering on cheap, and the other 2 are "spend til it's gone" types - total opposites. Interestingly, one of the "spend til it's gone" sisters has a very similar personality to me (isfp) but is quite a bit younger and with more mental issues.

The cracked article [MENTION=4]cafe[/MENTION] mentioned was pretty bang-on for my family growing up (minus the extravagant gift-giving thing, since we were never in a position to do that and still aren't - we went more the other way as we became adults, going for more homemade gifts and other small things). I'm literally the opposite of every one of those habits (sometimes too far, actually), but my mom still has most of them. The "money has to be spent right away" is the one that kills me. Lots of my friends are like that too though - it's not exclusively a growing up poor thing, by any means. It actually seems more like the rule than the exception, at least in my age group.

I'm not sure whether my attitude towards money will change when I finally get a real job, though - I'm still in grad school and make enough to live on but not really enough extra to invest. I have a small safety cushion in savings that I'm slowly adding to, but my spending is pretty variable because I tend to buy things on sale and stock up, and have never tried to follow a budget - I just try not to buy anything unless it's really worth the cost to me, and try to get the best possible price for everything.

edit: I should add that I think a lot of my attitudes about money have come from constantly thinking "don't be like parents don't be like parents". But it's hard to really say what my attitude would have been had my family earned more money. I suspect I would not be as strongly self-preservation oriented, but it's not like you can ever know for sure.
 

Evo

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My parents ESFP dad and ISFJ(really immature mom)were really bad with money. REALLY bad. We weren't poor, but we were, because my mom spent everything right away on stupid crap that was not useful.It was mostly all frivilous. My dad kept a "Mad Money" Jar for the times that he was angry and just wanted to spend money on what he wanted. They have a joint checking. <----I will NEVER do that...especially after working at a bank.

I'm almost the complete opposite of them with the exception of keeping the mad money jar. I like the thought of having money when i'm completely broke to spend on twizzlers or whatever. I find it easy to make money, I don't care about it as much as my parents do(or other people in general) and I find it pretty easy to save. I don't think I would say I make "good" money though. I have made it my job to eliminate all useless bills, ie: I don't spend $90 or so a month on a cell phone bill cause I hate phones.

In regards totThe physical aspect of money, I actually miss counting money at the bank. weird.
 

Ricin

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Do you think its determined by your childhood? So if you've been rich but started out poor do you remain "cheap"? Either because you value it too much or enjoy being rich too much?

Well I've been through many states when it comes to moneys.
When I was a child it wasn't so meaningful to me. When I had it I just kinda put it away in my sock drawer or something and would usually have about $5 on me at all times. I'd loan it out to my friends or buy them things from the ice cream truck or whatever. On average I didn't spend much throughout a week... certainly less than I acquired within a week. I had a lemonade stand and kinda just thought of it as a game, like monopoly. No one cares about the money they make in monopoly but they still have fun making it and want more of it.

Then I got a bank account and just kinda put my money in there.
My mother had access to said account and took my money and bought cigarettes and alcohol with it. :(

In high school I started making money again selling cookies and such to kids. And like when I was a child it wasn't of much value to me really since I had nothing to spend it on and already had what I wanted.

My mother stole all my money again.
I got pretty pissed and figured it's my money so I should get what I want with MY money. Not others. Then I got into a habit of spending my money before others could take it from me.

At some point when I was on my own I was responsible enough to pay my rent but still had the habit of spending before someone could take it from me.

Slowly I've gone back to the point where I don't see much I care to buy and just kinda put my money away in the bank and let it pile up.


I only really saved money simply cause I never say much that was worth buying and tend to wait for things to get cheaper or free.
 

Lith

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Aug 22, 2012
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Do you think its determined by your childhood? So if you've been rich but started out poor do you remain "cheap"? Either because you value it too much or enjoy being rich too much?
My siblings and I grew up dirt poor but it affected us in different ways. In my case, yes I did remain cheap. I was a scavenger back then and I still am. I never think of money as something to waste on luxuries, I think of it as something to add to the big pile. The way I live now is hardly any different from when I was poor, except that if I really need something I can buy it. If I really, really need it and I can't make it myself or find it in somebody's garbage.

That being said, I'm not averse to spending great fistfuls of cash on things that are guaranteed to improve my life. That's the whole point of saving it, so it'll be there when a good opportunity comes along.
 
R

ReflecTcelfeR

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I appreciate the money I earn. I do enjoy spending it as that is the purpose of having it, but I do fear being broke so I try to be as wise as possible. I am far too generous for the amount of money I earn, but it is one of the ways I show my appreciation for people. I need to learn how to be a craftsmen.
 
G

Ginkgo

Guest
Do you think its determined by your childhood? So if you've been rich but started out poor do you remain "cheap"? Either because you value it too much or enjoy being rich too much?

I think it's influenced by your childhood but not determined by your childhood. In other words, your childhood experiences do not serve as the only deciding factor. Regardless of cheapness or extravagance, people tend to develop responsibility for their monetary life on the basis of their background in mathematics. Responsible expenditures large and small are always premeditated through some sort of cost-benefit analysis. Anything else is the psychological equivalent of stealing.

Furthermore, if one is a big spending rich person, their expenditures often lead to a cumulative upkeep that, when tallied, may be divided evenly by a slim budget, leading to a sense of financial responsibility equal to that of an individual with less money.
 
G

garbage

Guest
I think that money is important enough that the relationship one has with it during childhood will profoundly affect the relationship with it as an adult.

My parents grew up on the wrong side of the tracks and were fortunate enough to escape when I was growing up. My mom essentially taught my dad how to control finances and to save money.

My mom still doesn't like to spend money, but my dad doesn't care.

I used to be a penny-pincher, but I relaxed quite a bit over time. I'm thankful that I don't have extravagant tastes, because I manage to meet all of my needs and live comfortably. I've grown out of feeling guilty about spending money, but I've never swung toward spending irresponsibly.

I treat money as a tool to provide flexibility. Some people enjoy managing it--whether in the form of coupons, stocks, or portfolios--but I personally don't. I just want to make money and then not have to worry about things. If I had it my way, I'd rather not mess with retirement accounts and things of that nature; I'd make enough now that I don't have to mess with managing it.

I can't complain, though--the fiancee's from a developing country and so has learned harsher lessons than I have. We've wound up in about the same spot in our relationship to money.
 
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