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What do you do when your lifes ourpose doesnt pan out?

W

WhoCares

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Lets just say that you always knew you wanted something in life. It keep you awake at night from your earliest memories and you believed this thing was your life's purpose. Now lets say it all came true then crashed and burned on you shortly after. Due to external circumstances I can no longer pursue this thing, i had my chance and uts gone. Now what? Why do we want things that simply will not be a reality fir us? And then what do we do once we've estabkished that is the case?

General discussion please, I wont give details because I do not wish to be ripped to shreds by unfriendly posts pointing out my general wrongness and various other faults.

Typos due to Apple-thingy crappy touch pad. Apologies.
 

Lark

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Disappointment, disillusionment and reality checks are part of life. They are subjective. What would be something one person would take in their stride are for others something which will knock them for six.

I think if you can hold on, sometimes this takes the help or input of another person, the feelings and thoughts become tolerable, its even possible to integrate experience and be the stronger for it. I dont know because when its happened to me in some way in some place in my mind I know I'm in denial but it doesnt result in me doing anything or behaving in a way I should not or which has serious consequences. I just refuse to lose hope altogether.

Although I would say that being related to others, having absorbing interests and pass times, being productive are all part of the necessary preparation for these things because we all know they do and will happen to each of us. No matter how unpleasant the prospect is or how much you'd like to not think about it at the best of times.
 

Red Herring

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We should not moor a ship with one anchor, or our life with one hope. – Epictetus


My mother quoted this to me when I was little. She taught me that life always goes on and that it's alway a good idea to have a plan B or C (or at least be able to improvise one). This was very important to her and I share that philosophy.
 
W

WhoCares

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well, why did you think it was your life purpose to began with?

Through the sheer force of my desire for it. There were many times in my life when I just tried to bury my desire to achieve it but I could never succeed in that endeavour.
 
W

WhoCares

Guest
We should not moor a ship with one anchor, or our life with one hope. – Epictetus


My mother quoted this to me when I was little. She taught me that life always goes on and that it's alway a good idea to have a plan B or C (or at least be able to improvise one). This was very important to her and
I share that philosophy.

I like this quote very much, thank you. I wish my family had imparted some kind of wisdom but people cant give what they havent got. No-one in my known list of relatives ever succeeded at anything or found happiness in life. Several members of my family committed suiide through alcohol abuse, my brother is about to join that dubious honour list.
 

ygolo

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Lets just say that you always knew you wanted something in life. It keep you awake at night from your earliest memories and you believed this thing was your life's purpose. Now lets say it all came true then crashed and burned on you shortly after. Due to external circumstances I can no longer pursue this thing, i had my chance and uts gone. Now what? Why do we want things that simply will not be a reality fir us? And then what do we do once we've estabkished that is the case?

General discussion please, I wont give details because I do not wish to be ripped to shreds by unfriendly posts pointing out my general wrongness and various other faults.

Typos due to Apple-thingy crappy touch pad. Apologies.

I went through, and may be going through a similar thing.

It is a tough situation because without the dreams and goals that come with the feeling of purpose, I know that I will spiral into a deep depression. However, the demands made by pursuing something unrealistic are immensely unhealthy.

I keep re-examining the realism and practicality of what I believe my purpose to be, but even if there is a possibility of it (even if unlikely), I continue along those lines...as long as I can continue to make ends meet, and get up each day.

If I could find something practical and more realistic that gave me the same sense of purpose, I would switch.
 
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Life always goes on

Pretty insightful right there, thanks.

xoxo
 

Wolfie

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Don't be the guy who sits around commiserating about this his whole life and doesn't achieve shit else.

Find your second passion and move on.

Wish ya luck!:D
 

zelo1954

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I think we are all on two interconnected journeys. One is about faith and the other is about self awareness - though this one is also about faith really because it involves analysing the gifts we've been bestowed with. Your life goals are based on where you are on these two journeys. You are seldom static on those journeys even though you may reach a plateau from time to time. Your life goals will therefore also change with time. I appreciate this is not a classic J response but Ps I think will identify with it. Indeed extreme Ps may not have any formal goals.
 

Reverie

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Well it's no use to absolutely fight your desire for this goal nor is it good to close yourself off from other options. I suggest taking time to figure out what is the exact thing that you really want concerning this thing you desire. Making a warts and all evaluation of where you stand now regarding this goal. If your desire is vague and general, like let's say becoming a great poet for example, you want to find out what constitutes great for you. Is it critically acclaimed, commercially successful, admired by your peers, or maybe just a standard of self expression you've set. Identify which aspects are truly in your heart of hearts meaningful to you. Examine each of the stories you've told yourself about the subject and see if they are what you want and even if they are... are they what you need. What is the very essence of your need for this? What is the reason behind the reason? When you pinpoint your own true core motivation you may find a new way to reach your goal as with this process of discovery you may have undergone a change and can have a new vision for the future. It's not easy but it's ultimately beneficial.
So don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. Identify what is your payoff. What is it you are really after and things may fall in place quite naturally.
 
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Magic Poriferan

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So far, experience tells me that I apathetically carry out the motions of my original practical plans ans habits while asking why I keep going, and frequently considering suicide while feeling no real emotional motivation to commit it.
 
W

WhoCares

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So far, experience tells me that I apathetically carry out the motions of my original practical plans ans habits while asking why I keep going, and frequently considering suicide while feeling no real emotional motivation to commit it.

I'm a mix of this and looking for a backup. Well I'm not really looking for a backup, the backup has always been there but I guess I assumed the backup would be something I'd complete later in life after I'd done my first project. I guess I am already in 'later in life' and I guess I've already done project A. I just expected project A to be a lot more enduring than it turned out to be. Sigh. :(

So, onto project B with full gusto then. These past few days I've had experinces that made me realise how small most people end up being in their habits and what they project in life. Most people cling to the rocks of security and identity like a barnacle not realising the ocean is where it's at. I guess its time to let go, say farewell and drift in a new direction. I just didn't expect that to happen this week.
 

Istbkleta

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I'm a mix of this and looking for a backup. Well I'm not really looking for a backup, the backup has always been there but I guess I assumed the backup would be something I'd complete later in life after I'd done my first project. I guess I am already in 'later in life' and I guess I've already done project A. I just expected project A to be a lot more enduring than it turned out to be. Sigh. :(

So, onto project B with full gusto then. These past few days I've had experinces that made me realise how small most people end up being in their habits and what they project in life. Most people cling to the rocks of security and identity like a barnacle not realising the ocean is where it's at. I guess its time to let go, say farewell and drift in a new direction. I just didn't expect that to happen this week.

Would you like a song to cheer you on your way?


It ties nicely with the homosexuality suggestion in this thread :smile:
 
W

WhoCares

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Don't do that. Its like giving a book to an illiterate. I know it means something but fucked if I can figure out what. :shock:
 

Maxcool131

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We should not moor a ship with one anchor, or our life with one hope. – Epictetus


My mother quoted this to me when I was little. She taught me that life always goes on and that it's alway a good idea to have a plan B or C (or at least be able to improvise one). This was very important to her and I share that philosophy.
I really liked that quote thanks for sharing :D
 
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