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How do you reverse negativity, cynicism, being critical?

swordpath

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Is there anything other than "focusing on the good" that one can do? Is it a one way path once it begins? It's not so much about being outwardly critical or negative per se, but the tendency is to filter everything in life through this microscope that's always looking for the "bad".
 

onemoretime

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Have faith. Find something or someone to believe in, and then hold to it, in spite of the doubts. Your friends are a good place to start :)
 

Stanton Moore

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I have trouble with this too. Sometimes I say, over and over, in my head: 'stay open'. I try to treat others with respect, even if they act like they don't deserve it. If people feel respected, they open up; if they do not, they won't, and may never. This gives you control, even if it seems somewhat self-negating at first. Of course, it's hard to maintain...
 

gromit

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Negativity and cynicism have to do with unrealistic standards and nit-picking instead of seeing a bigger picture that could be interpreted more positively (or at least acknowledging how or why things do not live up to your expectations and allowing more leniency and forgiveness in self and others).
 

Qlip

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I've noticed that people I have known for years have changed significantly, they've seemed to accumulated bitterness and developed a thick defensive shell. I'm unsure if this is just how people of certain types tend to develop, maybe it's out of their hands.. just a function of their experiences. I have a hard time believing somebody can just will themselves to stop being cynical without changing things other than thoughts.

I think the best shot for a positive outlook is to work to get yourself in a positive place where you can feel like you are capable of achieving satisfaction. Your outlook will change to match.
 

gromit

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I've noticed that people I have known for years have changed significantly, they've seemed to accumulated bitterness and developed a thick defensive shell. I'm unsure if this is just how people of certain types tend to develop, maybe it's out of their hands.. just a function of their experiences. I have a hard time believing somebody can just will themselves to stop being cynical without changing things other than thoughts.

I think the best shot for a positive outlook is to work to get yourself in a positive place where you can feel like you are capable of achieving satisfaction. Your outlook will change to match.

Yeah true, also surrounding yourself with positive people rather than negative people.

Negativity and cynicism have to do with unrealistic standards and nit-picking instead of seeing a bigger picture that could be interpreted more positively (or at least acknowledging how or why things do not live up to your expectations and allowing more leniency and forgiveness in self and others).

To continue on this line of thinking and tie it into [MENTION=10714]Qlip[/MENTION]s thoughts... my negativity, when it occurs, usually turns inward, I am critical and unrealistic about myself, holding myself to kind of ridiculous standards at times, particularly when I'm down about something. I even sometimes let it impact how I perceive my relationships with other people. But getting myself to a place where I'm generally satisfied, doing things I find worthwhile and enjoyable, like Qlip suggests, and developing a bit of forgiveness for when I (or circumstances) don't quite measure up have really made a difference to me.
 

UniqueMixture

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I agree with everything said here, but I would add having an existential viewpoint that is respectful of yourself and others. Also, when people, things, and situations feel negative to you realize several things:

1) this experience is just an experience
2) experiences are neither good or bad, it is what they imply about reality that makes us feel negative
3) Negative situations have a way of illuminating you values and are often opportunies in diguise/opportunities for growth

I allso believe having gratitude is key. As well as boundaries to respect your self esteem.
 

Lark

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I've noticed that people I have known for years have changed significantly, they've seemed to accumulated bitterness and developed a thick defensive shell. I'm unsure if this is just how people of certain types tend to develop, maybe it's out of their hands.. just a function of their experiences. I have a hard time believing somebody can just will themselves to stop being cynical without changing things other than thoughts.

I think the best shot for a positive outlook is to work to get yourself in a positive place where you can feel like you are capable of achieving satisfaction. Your outlook will change to match.

I've noticed that too about myself from time to time. I try to consciously "hit reset" when I notice it.

Although to be honest it is something which, for me at least, has to accumulate because naturally I'm not quite like that and after a good time out, nice vacation or something of that sort generally I'll not be that way so I dont experience it as being irreversable or an outgrowth of personality type or experience. Awareness is key though.
 

Lark

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I probably only know one person who is consistently positive about everyone and everything, so far as I'm able to discern its a pretty conscious thing for him, if he ever says anything negative its usually in humour and to highlight a greater positive or something like that. I'm sure it has to take a lot of work.
 

redacted

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The solution is to stop thinking so big, to break those sweeping dramatic narratives about meaning, and to narrow your scope down to what you have control over now or soon. Every day, make sure to do at least one thing that is good for you in the long term -- this will positively reinforce taking action. Over time, you start to see the effects of treating yourself better and the feeling of personal power will begin to break through the clouds of negative ruminating bullshit.
 

Mole

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Denial

Is there anything other than "focusing on the good" that one can do? Is it a one way path once it begins? It's not so much about being outwardly critical or negative per se, but the tendency is to filter everything in life through this microscope that's always looking for the "bad".

The alternative is denial, and for the hardcore, group denial.

So although it is important to deny that Jesus supported institutional slavery, for the denial to really take hold, it is important to deny it in a group, such as your local church.

And in the same way it is important to deny that Carl Jung, the founder of mbti, was psychotic, lived off his rich wife, adored the Führer, sexually abused his female patients, and wrote, "Psychological Types", without any empirical evidence whatsoever. But it is more important to deny it in a group such as Typologycentral.
 

UniqueMixture

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By releasing dopamine and creating positive experiences.

-have lots of sex
-make lots of money
-travel
-party after a hard day's work
-excercise
 

ChocolateMoose123

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Is there anything other than "focusing on the good" that one can do? Is it a one way path once it begins? It's not so much about being outwardly critical or negative per se, but the tendency is to filter everything in life through this microscope that's always looking for the "bad".

I don't see being critical as a negative. It can cause internal conflict which can produce excellent results. I would just remind yourself of a bigger picture. Give yourself credit for what you've done but know what needs improvement. Keep balanced. Have realistic goals. That should keep the negativity away.
 

Mole

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Or embrace the negative and go deeper and deeper and deeper until the negative transforms. And in transforming the negative, we transform ourselves.
 
W

WALMART

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there's little you can actively do.


act with your normal mind. reflect when inactive.

hopefully, through time, your normal mind will evolve.




at least this is where i'm at right now =/
 
W

WALMART

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fucking double posts. i hate feeling i must think of twice the content just to make up for my phone's shittiness.
 

1487610420

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Is there anything other than "focusing on the good" that one can do? Is it a one way path once it begins? It's not so much about being outwardly critical or negative per se, but the tendency is to filter everything in life through this microscope that's always looking for the "bad".

Divorce yourself from defeating thoughts by making a choice you believe in and following it without any room for doubt.
 

KDude

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Is there anything other than "focusing on the good" that one can do? Is it a one way path once it begins? It's not so much about being outwardly critical or negative per se, but the tendency is to filter everything in life through this microscope that's always looking for the "bad".

You don't need to reverse it. Just hang around people who like it (hopefully yourself too).
 
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