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Is suicide justified?

miss fortune

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An addendum to the first question. Do you think it lessens the pain or increases the pain to leave a note describing why they did so? (I assure you I'm not planning to attempt, I'm just seeing if talking about it will quiet the thought however unserious it may be).

my thoughts were always to make it look like an accident... no note, nothing... that way they wouldn't feel the need to blame themselves AND they could collect life insurance money to pay off anything that I owed... essentially mostly just deleting myself from existance... the next best thing to going back and preventing myself from ever being born :blush:

and to vieamemusique... usually things change over time so that you AREN'T always dragging them into a pit of dispair, while killing yourself would always be in their mind if you did...
 
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ReflecTcelfeR

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That certainly depends on the content.

A: I have terminal cancer and would die within the next months anyway.
B: You never called back.

So it depends directly on the logic. If their argument in the note was logical it would lessen the damage? I suppose that depends personally on the person reading it, if they don't understand, or don't see the logic whether it is there or not it may increase the pain. I suppose to put it directly is it easiere to cope with a suicide if there is logic within it. Even if the circumstances within it could've changed?
 

prplchknz

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I was gonna leave a note saying that i was a failure and a blank check because i owe my room mate money. but times before i've tried i didn't leave a note, I guess it depends on different factors if I'm leaving a note or not. I think I would, just to tie up loose ends best I can. to tell people I love them to try and explain why i'm doing this. Not that I expect them to. this is a hard thing for me to explain and others to understand.

btw I am not suicidal at this moment, i'm just remembering what i was thinking and feeling during the time. but i do like this thread, i feel i can speak candidly about it and not feel like I might offend someone. I'm also just speaking for how it is for me, because i believe suicidal thoughts, suicide, etc are different for different people. And I thought you might like some perspective from a suicidal person. because my perspective on suicide changes depending on whether or not I'm suicidal. if I'm too depressing though I can stop posting.
 
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ReflecTcelfeR

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my thoughts were always to make it look like an accident... no note, nothing... that way they wouldn't feel the need to blame themselves AND they could collect life insurance money to pay off anything that I owed... essentially mostly just deleting myself from existance... the next best thing to going back and preventing myself from ever being born :blush:

and to vieamemusique... usually things change over time so that you AREN'T always dragging them into a pit of dispair, while killing yourself would always be in their mind if you did...

As for making it look like an accident. I suppose this is the gentlest way to handle the situation. Hmmm, that seems to be the way it should be if you truly wanted to avoid getting attention for the action. An unselfish way of killing yourself.

I was gonna leave a note saying that i was a failure and a blank check because i owe my room mate money. but times before i've tried i didn't leave a note, I guess it depends on different factors if I'm leaving a note or not. I think I would, just to tie up loose ends best I can. to tell people I love them to try and explain why i'm doing this. Not that I expect them to. this is a hard thing for me to explain and others to understand.

btw I am not suicidal at this moment, i'm just remembering what i was thinking and feeling during the time.

Yeah, I agree with that. I suppose I would divide it between what most consider a random attempt, whether it was or not, or if it was planned (You could see it coming before they did so). Leaving a note for the more 'random' times.
 
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ReflecTcelfeR

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I can't say that I believe in reincarnation, and it worries me to question what does come after death.
I would say that the peace of suicide is an enticing thought at times. I will agree with you and say that the impact that it will have, whether positive or negative, is the concern I have as well.

As much as I feel that I am burdening the people around me and bringing them into my black hole of misery, there is this small thought that me dead would cause them great pain. But at times, I feel as though that pain would fade over time -- where as continuing to burden them is pain without an end date. The latter seems worse.

Knowing how it ends is always a comforting notion, this I can agree with completely.
 

prplchknz

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Yeah, I agree with that. I suppose I would divide it between what most consider a random attempt, whether it was or not, or if it was planned (You could see it coming before they did so). Leaving a note for the more 'random' times.

yeah, that makes a lot of sense actually
 
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ThatGirl

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This very thread pisses me off.


My thought? If you don't care about your life, I really have no reason to either. Simple as that.
 

Vie

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An addendum to the first question. Do you think it lessens the pain or increases the pain to leave a note describing why they did so? (I assure you I'm not planning to attempt, I'm just seeing if talking about it will quiet the thought however unserious it may be).

I have seriously thought about the suicide note thing. I feel as though leaving a note might help those left behind, by explaining why a person kills themselves.
But sometimes, that isn't enough. Nothing will ever be enough for those who survive.

I feel like not leaving a note is like, a big fuck you. Or the person was that upset it didn't matter to leave behind a good bye.
I would probably make a point to have a last conversation with a select few people, but nothing to alarm them.
 

Vie

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I was gonna leave a note saying that i was a failure and a blank check because i owe my room mate money. but times before i've tried i didn't leave a note, I guess it depends on different factors if I'm leaving a note or not. I think I would, just to tie up loose ends best I can. to tell people I love them to try and explain why i'm doing this. Not that I expect them to. this is a hard thing for me to explain and others to understand.

btw I am not suicidal at this moment, i'm just remembering what i was thinking and feeling during the time. but i do like this thread, i feel i can speak candidly about it and not feel like I might offend someone. I'm also just speaking for how it is for me, because i believe suicidal thoughts, suicide, etc are different for different people. And I thought you might like some perspective from a suicidal person. because my perspective on suicide changes depending on whether or not I'm suicidal. if I'm too depressing though I can stop posting.

I feel this exact same way. I don't think you are being depressing, I for one enjoy hearing your thoughts. I feel as though suicide is a taboo when it shouldn't be.
 

Mephistopheles

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my thoughts were always to make it look like an accident... no note, nothing... that way they wouldn't feel the need to blame themselves AND they could collect life insurance money to pay off anything that I owed... essentially mostly just deleting myself from existance... the next best thing to going back and preventing myself from ever being born :blush:


Hmm, I always thought that I should die as ridiculous as possible because I want to make people laugh(including myself) with the last thing I do.^^

And I think a note would lessen the pain in the long term if you don't shift the blame on others - usually, when you kill yourself and doesn't leave a note, your friends & your family will ask themselves "why did he do that? Could I've helped him?" etc. With a note, you can minimize at least that. An acquintance of me killed himself without making a note, and some of my friends were rather good friends with him, so I know what I'm talking about.

Still, I don't think suicide is good way to solve depression although I sometimes thought about it. First, because if you're not chronically depressed it will end someday anyway, second, because it's relatively likely that your existence will be completely wiped off and I personally prefer even lifelong agony to non-existence.

But if someone would want to commit suicide, I wouldn't stop him, although I would try to talk to him before. Suicidal humans are quite interesting.
 
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ReflecTcelfeR

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I have seriously thought about the suicide note thing. I feel as though leaving a note might help those left behind, by explaining why a person kills themselves.
But sometimes, that isn't enough. Nothing will ever be enough for those who survive.

I feel like not leaving a note is like, a big fuck you. Or the person was that upset it didn't matter to leave behind a good bye.
I would probably make a point to have a last conversation with a select few people, but nothing to alarm them.

I like that last conversation idea. If worse came to worst then I think that is probably the smartest way. I'd say a note and conversation. And ThatGirl, I also wonder why this makes you angry. If you don't wish to tell this is alright, too.
 

You

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Killing yourself is selfish. Most people are selfish. I could care less if you aren't someone I know, to be honest.
 

Cimarron

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I don't agree with the line of thought that suicide is "cowardly". It involves fighting the impulse to live, which is usually a rather strong natural impulse.

Also, I don't think calling it "selfish" is a successful critique of suicide. If there are some things in this world worth valuing your own sole opinion on, wouldn't the choice of continuing your own life be near the top of that list? If you don't have the moral right to decide with sole authority whether you should live or die, is that authority shared? Not your choice to make? Are no choices in life subject to your own sole authority?

Personally, I don't consider suicide an option in the course of my life. Well, especially not in the prime of my life. I see so many possibilities for any person's life, which is not always fun but is usually at least "okay" with the appropriate frame-of-mind adjusted to it, that life seems like an adventure worth slogging through. Still, not everyone thinks that way. I just want them to be aware of how many options and opportunities they have. If they decide when informed to go for suicide, it's their life. It may disturb me, but...
 

Blown Ghost

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I used to think suicide was a legitimate option. I was fully convinced, even. but I really challenged myself to be honest about it, and after much deliberation here is what I have determined.

Suicide is the worst mistake any person can make. No matter how bad you feel, are you really going to make the absolute worst choice you possibly could? Don't. There is absolutely no reason suicide should occur. I guarantee you, if you were somehow able to communicate with yourself after committing suicide, you'd be talking to someone entirely consumed in regret. If you're thinking about suicide, I want you to have an imaginary conversation with yourself after having done that, and I want you to truly try to empathize with what they are now. They have nothing, and will always have nothing, they are nothing. Your situation is bad, but at least you have life. At least you have yourself, no matter how bad you are. They have nothing.

Do you know what nothing really is? Before you send yourself there, I want you to be honest with yourself like I have and imagine what being nothing is. Coming from someone who has a strong tendency to leap before they look, this is one situation you must do so, because there is no coming back from that decision.

When I put myself in that situation, I always think "damn. I know he thinks it's bad, but it's better than what I have. I have nothing. I am nothing. I would do anything to wake up another day and just know I'm alive. I would trade anything for that, but I have nothing to trade."

Think about it, if you must, but never, ever do it. To never experience, to never think, to never feel, to never be ever again... and you can never change it, you will cease to exist for eternity. Your sheer ability to even consider making such a decision is a result of you being given an amazing gift: you are alive. You came into existence. Why would you give that up? Every other possible mistake someone could make is better than ceasing to exist, from an entirely selfish standpoint.
 
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ReflecTcelfeR

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I used to think suicide was a legitimate option. I was fully convinced, even. but I really challenged myself to be honest about it, and after much deliberation here is what I have determined.

Suicide is the worst mistake any person can make. No matter how bad you feel, are you really going to make the absolute worst choice you possibly could? Don't. There is absolutely no reason suicide should occur.

Think about it: everything you know and are aware of will cease to exist. If you didn't exist, you would not have even been there to make the choice to kill yourself.

So you're currently in that moment that you feel like it's worth it to end it all, you need to see that you're trading trading your life for nothing. Again, worst mistake you could possibly make. You're not just making a poor trade. You're not trading something for nothing, a little good and a lot of bad for nothing. You're trading everything you are for nothing. It's a little hard to wrap your head around, but once you make that choice you will remain existentially bankrupt for the rest of eternity.

NO reason to commit suicide. I gurantee you, if you were somehow able to communicate with someone who committed suicide, every single person would wish otherwise. If you're thinking about suicide, I want you to have an imaginary conversation with someone who has, and I want you to truly try to empathize where they are now. They have nothing, and will always have nothing. Now imagine talking to yourself. Your situation is bad, but at least you have life.

When I put myself in that situation, I always think "damn. I know he thinks it's bad, but it's better than what I have. I have nothing. I am nothing. I would do anything to wake up another day and just know I'm alive. I would trade anything for that, but I have nothing to trade."

Think about it.

True. Though I wonder how effective that argument works when depression truly exists. Something about this still seems strange to me though. I suppose it's the concept of it being a 'mistake'. Why is suicide considered selfish, what about it specifically is 'wrong' with doing it? Yes, the action cripples everyone around you, but this depression is bred out of our perception of what we imagine suicide being after we die, this judgment is based on no evidence. We feel that suicide is wrong, but this is I think is a learned reaction. If it were not hammered into our mind that suicide was a waste and those who do so, or allow it to happen will suffer, then would we really have the same outlook on it? I don't believe so, however this second world is fantasy. I just entertain the thought that we merely assume that suicide is wrong as we see it effect us negatively as a whole. I can only assert that I know no one really knows that suicide is wrong they just don't want to play their cards that way, and their is nothing wrong with this, because I don't wish to either, the fear of being wrong is healthy in some respects I suppose. Going 'all-in' is a scary bet.
 
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