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Ok so it's like this...

QuiteRole

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Apr 9, 2012
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  • People dying from hunger
  • People are homeless
  • People in war torn countries
  • People barely clothes

Is it really okay for me to worry about not being good looking, lacking good social skills, the girl I like not liking me back, life lacking meaning and all that stuff? I mean people dying everyday and I worry about this bullshit?
 

Fire

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Perspective is a good thing, but rather than beating yourself up over comparatively trivial things, use it to focus on how you can make the world better.
 

xisnotx

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Just because my problems aren't as bad as yours, it doesn't mean they stop being my problems.
 

tinker683

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Just because my problems aren't as bad as yours, it doesn't mean they stop being my problems.

Indeedy. My problems may not match the degree or scope of the problems mentioned in the OP, but that doesn't stop them from damaging me or causing me harm.
 

Space Socks

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  • People dying from hunger
  • People are homeless
  • People in war torn countries
  • People barely clothes

Is it really okay for me to worry about not being good looking, lacking good social skills, the girl I like not liking me back, life lacking meaning and all that stuff? I mean people dying everyday and I worry about this bullshit?

It's ok to lack the first three. It's not okay to worry about what you can't change immediately. Life lacking meaning is something you can change. If you're so concerned about life sucking, than try to find a way to help others. Start with family and/or close friends, they're the ones that know you a bit better than us so perhaps they can suggest something that you could consider.



Of course, report back if the suggestions are questionable.
 

UniqueMixture

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the-new-music-business-guilt-trip-social-media-promotion-music-consultant-up-and-coming-artist.png
 

INTP

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the issue behind those things you mentioned from you and behind those things like hunger in the world is that they cause negative emotions personally for people(your issues cause negative emotions for you, and their problems cause negative emotions for you).

when it comes to emotions, they are highly subjective. what you are feeling should not be compared to what others are feeling due to the subjectivity of the emotions. naturally there is such things like empathy and sympathy, which cause feelings without personal experiences with the issue at hand. even tho emotions triggered by empathy or sympathy are also subjective, they should not be compared to emotions triggered by personal experiences, as empathy and sympathy are merely reflections from the external world, while emotions triggered by personal experiences have personal origin. not to mention that when it comes to empathy or sympathy, you dont feel what the actual emotions that the other person feels, you are just simulating them in your own psyche, and your psyche is not like their psyche.

because of this difference in origin of emotions, you cant say that what you feel is wrong because someone else experiences different thing than you do. if you get really depressed because your girlfriend broke up with you, you might be expressing way more intense negative emotions than some starving child in africa does at the same moment. naturally for them its a longer term condition to feel crappy, but thats irrelevant to the fact that you are feeling like you dont want to live anymore.

when it comes to things like achieving happiness in things like getting friends or trying to look good, why would it make you a bad person if you arent doing it in the expense of others? its in the human nature to strive for comfort and feeling good is an emotional comfort.
 

lunalum

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Yeah, it's okay. It's called relativity. You may not be able to work towards solving all the world's problems right now but you can work towards solving yours, and once your needs are met you can help out others too.
 

Jonny

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I'm of the belief that, with subjective matters such as feelings of jealousy or self-loathing, the only justification one needs is his or her own contentment with those feelings. Put another way, as long as you are okay with worrying about your looks, lack of social skills, unrequited love, etc., then you are justified in doing so. After all, as INTP mentioned, the extend to which external stimuli affect a person is unique to that person, and people who seem to have relatively good lives have killed themselves, while others who suffer tremendous hardships find peace despite them. C'est la vie.
 

Betty Blue

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I think often the fewer "problems" one has, the larger they seem. It's about what is relevant... of course, you could become a missionary.
 

INTP

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I think often the fewer "problems" one has, the larger they seem. It's about what is relevant... of course, you could become a missionary.

Exactly. If your life is full of shit, you get used to that(to some extend), so it feels more neutral and if there is a glimpse of happiness there it will be many times stronger what the same thing wouod be to someone living the "perfect" life
 

Thalassa

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Apparently life does have meaning for you. You mean to help people who have problems. That's a meaning.

I get so weirded out by people who say life has no meaning. What the hell. The meaning of life is to live life, to go out and be and do experience. And you can add to that the meaning of life IS life, not just your own experience, but protecting life in general, the life of not only yourself but others - be it other people, plants, animals, etc. Life is the ultimate goal. Isn't that enough?

People trip me out, I swear.

Anyhoo, I think it's perfectly legitimate to worry about having a mate. Having a mate is very important, and sometimes the way you look has something to do with that.

Just don't let that alone consume you. Find something small you can make a difference in the world doing, and do it. If you're a revolutionary, be a revolutionary. If you have the nerves to be a politician, be a politician. If you can't do that, do something small that you really care about.

Like if you care about the environment, pick up trash and get involved with that. If you care about people being hungry and homeless, stop voting Republican.

Seriously, though, you can't change the world. If you sit there and think about all of the horrible things going on in the world (which you alone cannot fix the whole world, and must accept that suffering is a part of life) you'll just get overwhelmed or depressed and do nothing it all.

It's better to do small things than to think about changing the world and just whine.
 

Thalassa

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Yeah, it's okay. It's called relativity. You may not be able to work towards solving all the world's problems right now but you can work towards solving yours, and once your needs are met you can help out others too.

oooh...good answer!!!!!
 

redacted

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  • People dying from hunger
  • People are homeless
  • People in war torn countries
  • People barely clothes

Is it really okay for me to worry about not being good looking, lacking good social skills, the girl I like not liking me back, life lacking meaning and all that stuff? I mean people dying everyday and I worry about this bullshit?

It makes the most sense for people to worry about their own problems, since personal decisions are positively and negatively reinforced much more drastically than any other kinds of decisions.

I tend to think of this issue (your own problems seeming trivial) like this: worry about yourself first. Get healthy and happy because then you have much more power to change things around you. Let's say you want to devote x resources to helping other people, and you have 1.5x total resources. If you start helping people x much immediately, you'll only have .5x to deal with yourself. But if you spend a few years working on yourself and your position in life, you may end up with something like 4x resources, so you can easily deal with your own stuff and give to others much more than you would've been able to even if you'd devoted your whole life to it before.
 

funkadelik

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Perspective is a good thing, but rather than beating yourself up over comparatively trivial things, use it to focus on how you can make the world better.

Ladies and gentlemen: the thread. *round of applause*

But seriously, that's really all you can do. How does it make sense to beat yourself up because you weren't born into abject poverty, an abusive family, etc.? There's no way you can control that. But you can control what you make of your "charmed life" and oftentimes that means battling and conquering your personal demons.
 

CrystalViolet

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Count your self lucky, and live your life the best you can.
Give back when you can.
I've volunteered before, but not for a long time. I'm just waiting to do a phone counseling course, at the moment to volunteer for a suicide line. I have ears, so I can listen, and I've been there and lived to tell the tale, but then my life is rather dedicated to service of others (even if I get paid for it.)
One cannot help their relative privilege, but one can chose what they do with it.
 

Munchies

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  • People dying from hunger
  • People are homeless
  • People in war torn countries
  • People barely clothes

Is it really okay for me to worry about not being good looking, lacking good social skills, the girl I like not liking me back, life lacking meaning and all that stuff? I mean people dying everyday and I worry about this bullshit?
Do you watch the ground to avoid stepping on insects?
 
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