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Accepting your limitations and making the most of what you do have?

ygolo

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I've been thinking about this lately.

In some ways, we are the product of the choices we made. But the choices we made in the past gives us the resources that we have to work with now.

It is generally harder for an adult to learn new things than for a child. Neuroplasticity just goes down with age.

I sometimes wish I had focused intently on getting good at a few things as a child, instead of just dabbling in a bunch of things. I also wish music has a bigger part of my life growing up.

But now, as an adult, I am a professional dabbler. I aim to make the best of that.

Also, I have been needing an amazing amount of sleep, and this has lasted for a long time...at least a year. I sleep on average half the day. Usually 10 hours during the weekdays, and 14 to 19 hours on Saturdays and Sundays. There are some health issues that could be the cause of this, but I don't want to go into detail here.

So somehow, I have to make the best of my waking hours. I am still figuring out how to do that.

Of course, I could work a lot to change my patterns (especially the sleep thing). That is another option.

So, what about you guys? What are the limitations that you have run into? What do you plan to do about them?
 

funkadelik

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A number of years ago I became inflicted with a disabling, chronic disease that, even though I have mostly under control now, still limits me in many of the things I want to and can do. And it's taken me quite some time to just come to terms with that fact.

But, you know, it's all about perspective, right? I appreciate the things I CAN do much more for it. So in a way, that makes it easier to make what I do have count. And I feel like it's made me a mellower and generally better person because I'm all too aware of what kinds of things are important in life and what things aren't.

As for the things I can't do, I've basically just resigned myself to not being upset if I can't do those things ever again in my life or just adapting them to my life and adapting my life to them. I, like you, usually sleep for around half a day, but I'm just all that much more aware of not wasting the precious conscious time I do have. Doesn't mean it's easy, but it's a concern. It requires more planning than I'm naturally inclined to do, but I am training myself to do just that. To maximize economy of production in my life. :laugh:
 

Saslou

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I'm sorry but i don't like your title. It's a defeatist attitude ;)

I believe the idea of one's limitations can be a dangerous thought process.

Now i'm going slightly off track here but ..
Why should one accept their limitations? Does this imply that an individual tried every resource available thus reaching a conclusion based on their limitation? Should age/health be a factor?

No .. I think everyone (if they chose to) should go out there, try different experiences and if they reach a conclusion then brill, it not then continue looking for something to inspire.

Not really useless info:

Harrison Ford became an actor in his 30's
Conel Sanders didn't start his chicken empire until his 40's
Sylvester Stallone wrote 'Rocky' when he was 30
Julia Child took 40 years to find her true passion of cooking
The first edition of Roget's Thesaurus was published when Peter Mark Roget was 73.

Some find their niche early in life .. I'm still looking, but i sure as hell am not going to limit myself and the possibilities due to some past mistakes/thinking, i am going to forge on and look for further inspiration, in whatever shape or form it comes in :)
 

jimrckhnd

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Well one of my great strenghts is I pretty much refuse to accept limitations - if I want to take a shot at something I do. However, its also a weak point. Sometimes it gets my in over my head and often presses me to the limits of mental and/or physical capability. Over all I think its a net positive however.

RE: sleep. That is abnormal. I'd really speak to a doc about that - seriously. 19 hours? 10 hours during the week? I get by with 6.5 - 7.5 during the week and 8.5 on a lazy, "sleep in" weekend. There may well be some underlying medical condition at work if you need that much sleep.
 

Such Irony

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I often find myself dwelling on things I can't change. Sometimes I wish I was 21 again. Sometimes I wish I had a more outgoing and charismatic personality. Sometimes I wish I was thinner with a different body. Sometimes I wish I had different parents. Dwelling on what you can't change does no good and wastes time. I focus on my strengths and put a positive spin on my limitations. Sometimes I imagine what life would be like if I had the things I wished for. Sometimes the grass isn't always greener on the other side.
 

mrcockburn

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Grrr....NEVER accept limitations. You don't know what they are, and you'll end up putting a false deadend sign.

Recently, I wanted to learn how to play the violin (I love that instrument). Never had lessons as a kid, now 21. Got turned down by two music teachers because I was "too old" to be of any value. The third one took me - and now, 3 months later, I'm at a Grade 4 level. (Out of 8). Within a year, I'll be ready to perform around the city, hopefully at a G8 level. I think going pro requires intensive full-time study for years, but other than the time constraint, I don't see how it's impossible.

Anyhow, don't listen to naysayers who say the brain crystallizes after puberty. Studies and anecdotal evidence say otherwise!

Just think of people becoming fluent in a foreign language after immersion. Our minds were DESIGNED to adapt to the environment - it makes evolutionary sense, too! Humans didn't always live in a static environment. We had to be able to learn, change, adapt, be resourceful with what was around us.

If you want it, you're perfectly capable of getting it. :solidarity: And just think, you'll always get farther aiming for something than for nothing - even if you don't hit your exact target.
 

King sns

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As I get older, I see limitations in my own behavior as well. I think you can change, if you try very very hard. Make habits of things that are well out of your comfort zone. Create new neural connections while, (hopefully) breaking down and weakening some of the thicker and well established ones. But if you're not self-aware, you just end up in these terrible patterns. My limitations tend to be fear/ laziness/ anxiety. Same as you, wanting to dabble and getting all these wonderful ideas about all the things I can get into, getting into them full force and not following through. These are the few things that seem to be hard to overcome for me.
 

onemoretime

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I'm sorry but i don't like your title. It's a defeatist attitude ;)

I disagree. It's a liberating attitude. It's one that allows you to let go of those things you can't control, and harness your energy toward the things you excel at.

I believe the idea of one's limitations can be a dangerous thought process.

Now i'm going slightly off track here but ..
Why should one accept their limitations? Does this imply that an individual tried every resource available thus reaching a conclusion based on their limitation? Should age/health be a factor?

You accept your limitations because that's how you prevent yourself from tilting at windmills. That means learning how to distinguish between true limitations and where you limit yourself. You only learn the distinction through experience and being willing to go outside your comfort zone.

Of course age and health is a factor. You can only do so much with the cards you're dealt.

No .. I think everyone (if they chose to) should go out there, try different experiences and if they reach a conclusion then brill, it not then continue looking for something to inspire.

That's part of the process of accepting your limitations.

Not really useless info:

Harrison Ford became an actor in his 30's[/quote]

He actually started right out of college, but did not get anywhere under the old studio system. He was limited because he could only act realistically to the part, rather than exude "stardom" like the studio heads wanted at that time. It was only with the changing of the guard, and the rise of the New Hollywood of the 1970s that he could surpass those limitations.

Conel Sanders didn't start his chicken empire until his 40's

Col. Sanders could not have produced his chicken at nearly a rapid enough rate until the invention of the pressure fryer. Up to that point, he did it the best he could - slowly, serving only a few people at a time. He accepted his limitations, until those limitations changed through no effort of his own.

Sylvester Stallone wrote 'Rocky' when he was 30

Stallone wrote a story about an underdog being given one last shot primarily because that's what he was when he wrote the play, as a starving actor (without a star's good looks, due to birth complications) with almost no hope. Rocky was almost entirely about accepting one's limitations - Rocky knew that he could not beat Apollo Creed, so he would strive to do what he knew he was capable of: withstanding life's heavy blows, and going the distance when others would have bowed out earlier.

Julia Child took 40 years to find her true passion of cooking

Julia Child only developed that passion because of her life's great sadness - her inability to have children of her own.

The first edition of Roget's Thesaurus was published when Peter Mark Roget was 73.

He had also been at it since he was 26 years old. Truth is, he was very limited by the amount of information available to him in his day.

Some find their niche early in life .. I'm still looking, but i sure as hell am not going to limit myself and the possibilities due to some past mistakes/thinking, i am going to forge on and look for further inspiration, in whatever shape or form it comes in :)

Accepting one's limitations doesn't mean limiting possibilities. It means understanding that some things aren't possibilities - they're simply not happening. It means being able to distinguish between what might be and what will never be.
 

King sns

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I disagree. It's a liberating attitude. It's one that allows you to let go of those things you can't control, and harness your energy toward the things you excel at.


You accept your limitations because that's how you prevent yourself from tilting at windmills. That means learning how to distinguish between true limitations and where you limit yourself. You only learn the distinction through experience and being willing to go outside your comfort zone.

Of course age and health is a factor. You can only do so much with the cards you're dealt.



That's part of the process of accepting your limitations.
.

I agree with that. It's nice if you want to do something completely weird in comparison to your original chemistry, it seems like you can still do that, but it's even nicer if you can see your own strengths and weaknesses from a young age and work on whatever your strengths are. Seems like you excel at a quicker pace.
 

ygolo

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I think onemoretime put it quite eloquently.

Regarding my own situation.

I am seeing doctors regarding my sleep problems, and there are some health issues that could definitely be the cause, but so far that has yet to be resolved. Till, it is resolved, it is a limitation that I need to account for.

I aim to make my "dabbling" in fields a way to synthesize new breakthroughs. I am explicitly picking an interdisciplinary field that can use my prior skills...I will have a very unique perspective entering the field.
 

funkadelik

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Yeah, going along with what [MENTION=7330]onemoretime[/MENTION] said, I think saying "don't accept limitations!" is overly simplistic and really much too idealistic. I'm not trying to sound like a prick, but it seems like an attitude people who have never had true limitations take (and it's a great mentality to have), but you can't assume that it can be applicable to everyone.

I can wile away at something I won't physically be able to do in the long run and just end up feeling defeated and unhappy and full of self-loathing OR I can accept that this is a limitation of mine and focus that energy on something I can do, try my best and perhaps excel at it (cue: feelings of great self-worth and happiness).

Example: I used to run. A lot. For hours and miles and I used to LOVE it. But now I can't run, but I've taken up biking and love it even more. I've accepted my limitation and focused my energy on something else.

It's liberating more than anything.
 

mrcockburn

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Yeah, going along with what [MENTION=7330]onemoretime[/MENTION] said, I think saying "don't accept limitations!" is overly simplistic and really much too idealistic. I'm not trying to sound like a prick, but it seems like an attitude people who have never had true limitations take (and it's a great mentality to have), but you can't assume that it can be applicable to everyone.

I can wile away at something I won't physically be able to do in the long run and just end up feeling defeated and unhappy and full of self-loathing OR I can accept that this is a limitation of mine and focus that energy on something I can do, try my best and perhaps excel at it (cue: feelings of great self-worth and happiness).

Example: I used to run. A lot. For hours and miles and I used to LOVE it. But now I can't run, but I've taken up biking and love it even more. I've accepted my limitation and focused my energy on something else.

It's liberating more than anything.

I think there actually are limitations, but most people overestimate them, I'd say. It's probably the human drive for efficiency: "why work at something you might not improve on when there's something else you already can do?"

EDIT: I'm speaking mainly about mental/spiritual limitations. Physical limitations tend to be more quickly/concretely determined. For instance, someone with a certain bone structure will be immediately ill suited for certain athletics.

I'm a 21-year-old, 5'11 giraffe with a really delicate bone structure, and absolutely no muscle tone. It's pretty obvious that a gymnastics medal isn't going to come my way during this lifetime.

The way I see it, a body is like ice, the mind is like water, and wisdom is like steam. Bodily abilities cannot be expanded without breaking the ice (body). Mental abilities can easily expand, but eventually the water does smear out to dryness (though few people actually smear the water to that point. They're happy with the little puddle right in front of them). Wisdom and spiritual abilities (EQ, etc) can pretty much float off to any length - like a cloud. There is no limit to what one can achieve in the realm of wisdom - neither in direction nor in depth.

Although, the presence of any of these variables could also be likened to the amount of "heat" (intent) required.

Anyone can have and use their body. But the mind naturally requires more "heat" (water - melted ice) - there has to be a clear desire to develop mentally, as opposed to rotting on the sofa by default. And to develop wisdom requires even more heat (steam), especially since there's no immediate tangible benefit to doing so. It can be a challenge to stick with, even during the time of practice - as there is a challenge with an unclear foreseeable reward. If you've ever tried to meditate, you'll know what I mean.

And yes, physical activity can be very mental. That's where I call it "slush". Partially broken body "ice"/partially meaningful, directed "heat". :D

Ok, I think I sound too much like Victor, so I might delete this tomorrow. This all made so much more sense in my head. :blush:
 

xisnotx

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Limitations? They're called challenges. You thought life was going to be easy huh?

I've thought about how every little decision you make, no matter how minuscule, affects what you will do in the future. I've even played with this bit of information and have had some crazy experiences because of it.

Stuff like deciding to carry a lighter around when you don't have a use for it and being surprised at just how many uses you can find for it (socially, physically, emotionally, relationship wise) and then wondering if it was the lighter that was doing it, or if it was just you tricking yourself into doing stuff you want to do, albeit subconsciously...

There is a whole body of philosophy on free will. It's pretty entertaining, imo
 

ygolo

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I think there actually are limitations, but most people overestimate them, I'd say. It's probably the human drive for efficiency: "why work at something you might not improve on when there's something else you already can do?"

This. It's called opportunity cost. We have to choose how we spend out time wisely. The flip side of that is that we also need "balance" and cannot put all our eggs into one basket.
 

onemoretime

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I think there actually are limitations, but most people overestimate them, I'd say. It's probably the human drive for efficiency: "why work at something you might not improve on when there's something else you already can do?"

If the pleasure is in the challenge, then it is not refusing to accept limitations at all - it's being willing to push yourself to the limit, and accepting that you've given your best effort, regardless of the outcome.

EDIT: I'm speaking mainly about mental/spiritual limitations. Physical limitations tend to be more quickly/concretely determined. For instance, someone with a certain bone structure will be immediately ill suited for certain athletics.

I'm a 21-year-old, 5'11 giraffe with a really delicate bone structure, and absolutely no muscle tone. It's pretty obvious that a gymnastics medal isn't going to come my way during this lifetime.

The way I see it, a body is like ice, the mind is like water, and wisdom is like steam. Bodily abilities cannot be expanded without breaking the ice (body). Mental abilities can easily expand, but eventually the water does smear out to dryness (though few people actually smear the water to that point. They're happy with the little puddle right in front of them). Wisdom and spiritual abilities (EQ, etc) can pretty much float off to any length - like a cloud. There is no limit to what one can achieve in the realm of wisdom - neither in direction nor in depth.

Then again, the smeared water does not simply disappear, but instead turns to vapor. Just as a lifetime of acquiring knowledge takes a while to coalesce into wisdom.

Although, the presence of any of these variables could also be likened to the amount of "heat" (intent) required.

Anyone can have and use their body. But the mind naturally requires more "heat" (water - melted ice) - there has to be a clear desire to develop mentally, as opposed to rotting on the sofa by default. And to develop wisdom requires even more heat (steam), especially since there's no immediate tangible benefit to doing so. It can be a challenge to stick with, even during the time of practice - as there is a challenge with an unclear foreseeable reward. If you've ever tried to meditate, you'll know what I mean.

I think what you're saying is that spiritual development (however you understand that concept) requires a fuller commitment of self than physical or intellectual development. I would agree.
 

Saslou

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc4HGQHgeFE&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOlTdkYXuzE&feature=related

Did the above bloke accept his limitations .. Hell no, he's too busy enjoying life.

I disagree.

Accepting one's limitations doesn't mean limiting possibilities. It means understanding that some things aren't possibilities - they're simply not happening. It means being able to distinguish between what might be and what will never be.

That's your prerogitive to which you are entitled to express :)
 

Zoom

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The acceptance of my limitations mainly comes in regards to energy and how much of it I have - to devote to others, myself, and miscellaneous projects. I've had to realize that I can't just go non-stop for days on end with no alone time and little sleep... if I don't recharge regularly I burn out.

Oh, and that it is possible to get friction burn from too much sex. That counts as recognizing a limitation, right? :thinking:
 

mrcockburn

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If the pleasure is in the challenge, then it is not refusing to accept limitations at all - it's being willing to push yourself to the limit, and accepting that you've given your best effort, regardless of the outcome.

Then again, the smeared water does not simply disappear, but instead turns to vapor. Just as a lifetime of acquiring knowledge takes a while to coalesce into wisdom..

I think what you're saying is that spiritual development (however you understand that concept) requires a fuller commitment of self than physical or intellectual development. I would agree.

- agreed.

- It only turns into vapor if you're aware of the lessons imparted by the experience of improving in a mental area. Otherwise, there are diminishing returns on the smear as the limit is approached - as you focus on stretching out one skill, you let other skills, other smears of water, dry up. It ends up as a net loss.

- Yes. And not just that, but there is no tangible firewood the world provides to fuel your heat - and nothing for the heat itself to burn - no incentive. So you need a steady supply of internal willpower. So spirituality/wisdom is limitless, but sadly, there's no market for it.
 

ygolo

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Are you kidding me? This guy optimizes accepting limitations and making the most of what you have. He even says, "At no point in my life did I say 'I wish I had hands and legs'". He accepted his condition and made the best of it.

In fact, he'd probably be less successful if did have limbs...and you know there are very expensive prosthesis that he could have gone and tried to get, but he didn't. At this point, it would likely hinder his life's purpose to get artificial limbs.
 
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