Ask God

[Anew Leaf]

Dear god,

My life bites right now. What gives?

- a dot becomes a line just to dance in a graph

 

[Mole]

Dear God, what do you think of Crocs?

 

[ICUP]

Dear God,

If you are God, why can't you grant all of my wishes to come true?

 

[strawberries]

Dear God, what do you think of Crocs?

the plastic shoes or the animal?

 

[Mole]

Crocodile Skin and Thermo-Plastic

the plastic shoes or the animal?

Plastic? Plastic? Dear Strawberries, it is thermo-plastic, as tough and hard wearing as it is soft, and molds itself to the feet. - far better than crocodile skin.

Crocodile bites the foot while crocs caress the foot at every step.

 

[Anew Leaf]

Dear God,

As you know my weekend is going to suck. Could you do me a giant favor and quantum leap me straight to Sunday? On the way please allow me to pass Go and collect my $200.

~ a ball of lint used as a monopoly piece because the shoe was lost when everyone fought over it

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

Dear God,

I'm glad you have a great sense of humor. Let me know when you're ready for my Christmas list.

x,o's,
Nerd

Nerd Girl,

I thank you for the compliment, but as I told someone earlier in the thread, I hired a guy to take care of Christmas lists. He's pretty jolly, and he wears my favorite color, red. Don't worry, he's my duly appointed representative. I just have a pretty big workload and I had to put some people on. Merry Christmas!

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

Dear god,

My life bites right now. What gives?

- a dot becomes a line just to dance in a graph

Saturned,

I'm sorry that your life bites right now, and I'm sorry about your bunny. But into every life, a little suck must fall. Do your best to weather the suck with character and good humor, and you will find it easier to do the same when things start to go your way again. Become a line, little dot

Dear God,

As you know my weekend is going to suck. Could you do me a giant favor and quantum leap me straight to Sunday? On the way please allow me to pass Go and collect my $200.

~ a ball of lint used as a monopoly piece because the shoe was lost when everyone fought over it

Saturned,

I can't quantum leap you to Sunday...only Scott Bakula has the power to do that, and I don't think he has a thread. But what you can do is to look at Friday and Saturday from a new perspective. Instead of enduring them, find a way to make them useful. For instance, NOBODY fights over the shoe. That's simply an issue of your perspective. The shoe is what people get stuck with. The race car is the one everyone fights over. So just try to look at your weekend from a different angle, and see if you can't get something out of it.

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

Dear God, what do you think of Crocs?

the plastic shoes or the animal?

Plastic? Plastic? Dear Strawberries, it is thermo-plastic, as tough and hard wearing as it is soft, and molds itself to the feet. - far better than crocodile skin.

Crocodile bites the foot while crocs caress the foot at every step.

Victor,

Crocs may caress the foot at every step, but that is nothing more than Satan himself tempting you with Earthly pleasures. Crocs reveal their true nature when you gaze upon their distinctly evil design. They are an aesthetic abomination to my eyes, and an example of man's tendency to pervert the gifts of nature.

 

[Anew Leaf]

Dear God,

Can you do me a different favor then? Find me a nice ENTP boy that I can go look at the stars and make rockets out of corn cobs and moonshine with?

~ . ........................................ _______________________________________________ ∞

p.s. One more thing, how can I stop ending sentences with dangling participles?

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

Dear God,

If you are God, why can't you grant all of my wishes to come true?

ICUP,

If I were no more than a supernatural vending machine dispensing hopes and dreams, how would anyone learn or grow? It is in sweating for what you want and learning the value of dreams that character and true happiness are built.

Also, lots of you people have some pretty appalling wishes. Srsly.

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

Dear God,

Can you do me a different favor then? Find me a nice ENTP boy that I can go look at the stars and make rockets out of corn cobs and moonshine with?

~ . ........................................ _______________________________________________ ∞

p.s. One more thing, how can I stop ending sentences with dangling participles?

Saturned,

I might be able to help you find that boy. Or maybe that boy will find you. Especially if I can have some of the moonshine. God likes to party, too.

 

[ThatGirl]

Dear God,

What the hell were you thinking?

Tg

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

Dear God,

What the hell were you thinking?

Tg

ThatGirl,

Are you questioning my thinking?

 

[ThatGirl]

Lolol!


P.S. You didn't answer the question.

 

[Anew Leaf]

Saturned,

I might be able to help you find that boy. Or maybe that boy will find you. Especially if I can have some of the moonshine. God likes to party, too.

Dear God,

Let us help each other then...

*reaches up and gently brushes some shine off of the moon's silvery face and places in crystal goblet and shyly hands to you*

~ a blip of star; a splash of oxygen

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

P.S. You didn't answer the question.

FINE. I was thinking that I could have some company and I'd make a beautiful universe and that there would be harmony. But clearly questions like yours are the reason that we as a universe can't have nice things!

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

Dear God,

Let us help each other then...

*reaches up and gently brushes some shine off of the moon's silvery face and places in crystal goblet and shyly hands to you*

~ a blip of star; a splash of oxygen

Saturned,

How sweet! What a lovely drink! I'm going to assign ThatGirl to hang out with you for a while.

 

[ThatGirl]

FINE. I was thinking that I could have some company and I'd make a beautiful universe and that there would be harmony. But clearly questions like yours are the reason that we as a universe can't have nice things!

Saturned,

How sweet! What a lovely drink! I'm going to assign ThatGirl to hang out with you for a while.

So smiteful....Jesus!

 

[Anew Leaf]

Saturned,

How sweet! What a lovely drink! I'm going to assign ThatGirl to hang out with you for a while.

Awesome. Please send coordinates of ENTP's current location to my iPhone, thanks!

So smiteful....Jesus!

*puts scrap book supplies back in cabinet and scratches out "The Big Book of TG and Saturned BFF journey"*