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Ask God

Joined
Jun 6, 2007
Messages
7,312
MBTI Type
INTJ
Dear God,

Have you ever had an "INTJ complex" ?

Ragshree,

If I did, I would never say it. Those people think highly enough of themselves as it is. There would be no living with them!


Dear God,

I seriously think you're a troll. I mean that's cool and all since you're the Truth at the same time. But seriously. Vestigial organs. Echidnas. Back hair.

I don't mean to talk about you like you're some sort of dickless pantywaste. But it's getting ridiculous.

I guess the fundamental rules of the universe can come up with that stuff, and I don't want to be boastful and prideful like I'm an exception. But yeah. You're silly.

"Counselor, is there a question in our future?"

/every law TV show
 
Joined
Jun 6, 2007
Messages
7,312
MBTI Type
INTJ
God,

Thanks for the reply. To answer your question, in my heaven there would be a 1967 Acapulco Blue Mustang with white leather interior. Preferably showroom quality because I don't know how to restore a classic stang without your help.

See, Nerd Girl - you have answered your own question. Bully for you!


And God, I'll just pretend I didn't hear that part about the second and third gen stangs. -covers poor pony ears-

I'm afraid that if you like the second and third gen Mustangs, it might take a wee bit of extra credit for you to get your golden ticket, yannowhatimsayin?


Dear God,
When does the fun start?

Malice,

Why, whenever you want it to! God harshes no mellows.


Dear God,
What were you thinking?

I GIVE and I GIVE and I GIVE to you people, and THIS IS THE THANKS I GET!

Okay, tantrum over. You want the real answer? Like, the real real answer? I was a little drunk.
 
Joined
Jun 6, 2007
Messages
7,312
MBTI Type
INTJ
God, If I have to leave this world with all of these big dreams and unfinished business, I'm prayin' for that '67 Stang and an air conditioned garage AND I WANT places to go and people to see up there!! Happy people!! Happy big yellow grin'ed people. Toothless is fine. God, Are you listening??

You again?? I'd love to stay, but I've got this thing downtown. Call my secretary, we'll setsomethingupgottagobye!

Dear God,
How can I know what you want me to do with my life? Do you deal in specifics?

gromit

Gromit,

You may not capitalize your name, but I will, because you deserve it! To answer your question, I have no specific plan for your life. I gave you talents and brains and your unique personality, and I can't wait to see what YOU want to do with them! I just want you to be happy and to embrace your potential.

And to draw a picture of me! Contrary to opinion in some quarters, I don't care if you guys draw me, paint me, or make a me out of dried macaroni and glitter. Have at it!
 

Little_Sticks

New member
Joined
Aug 19, 2009
Messages
1,358
I GIVE and I GIVE and I GIVE to you people, and THIS IS THE THANKS I GET!

Well you're the one that decided to invent me with the free will to not give thanks. So don't take it out on me.

:wacko: you silly god :alttongue:

Okay, tantrum over. You want the real answer? Like, the real real answer? I was a little drunk.

I'm not really sure. If you give me an answer then I suppose I can't speculate on the answer with ironic jokes.

Also, if I told you I was God, how would we know which one of us was really God? What would make your will any more Godly over my own? Certain capability perhaps?
 
A

A window to the soul

Guest
Dear God,

You're quite the comedian. I like that.

p.s., Your secretary put me on eternal hold. What does that mean?
 

ragashree

Reason vs Being
Joined
Nov 3, 2008
Messages
1,770
MBTI Type
Mine
Enneagram
1w9
Dear God,

It seems you are very familiar with the proclivities of the INTJs you created. ;)


If you hadn't taken on the position of Supreme Creator and Ruler of the Universe, what would you have liked to do instead?
 
Joined
Jun 6, 2007
Messages
7,312
MBTI Type
INTJ
Also, if I told you I was God, how would we know which one of us was really God? What would make your will any more Godly over my own? Certain capability perhaps?

Little_Sticks,

If you told me you were God, there would be an easy way to tell which of us was really God. I would simply consult AC/DC.

album-who-made-who.jpg


Dear God: Why do you hate me?

lowtech redneck,

I don't hate you. I love you! To quote one of the more trite things said about me, "God don't make no junk." If your life is hard, I'll be there to help you. I never allow you to be painted in a corner. I will always give you a path to glory. You just have to find it. Take heart!

Dear God,

You're quite the comedian. I like that.

p.s., Your secretary put me on eternal hold. What does that mean?

Nerd Girl,

I apologize. You just can't get good help anymore, even in heaven. Nobody can concentrate on their job, what with the nightly fireworks, unicorn races and Jimi Hendrix concerts. I assure you, I make every effort to answ...sorry, I hear Purple Haze starting. BRB.
 
Joined
Jun 6, 2007
Messages
7,312
MBTI Type
INTJ
Dear God,

Why is it that I feel like you are whispering in my ear about something, and then it doesn't happen the way I think it will?

~ :heart: a tiny speck of soul dust floating on earth

Saturned,

I am filled with joy to hear from you! I like your advice thread, you remind me of me. But not too much. Just the right amount. You are right to feel that I am whispering in your ear...I love when you guys hear me! If it doesn't work out the way you think, maybe you misinterpreted what I said. Or maybe someone else didn't heed my advice. Or maybe you didn't. Or maybe I'm just fucking with you.

Hahaha, no, really. I'm not fucking with you. That would be a cold shot. Just remember, I don't deal in events. I deal in thoughts.

Dear Yahweh

What's your take on this personality thing?

Cheers, Gautama.

Wolfy,

You're Gautama?? That seriously screws with my worldview, I have to say. As far as personality goes, I think that MBTI, like many things, helps you to understand without being gospel truth (hah!) A hammer helps to build a house, but you need saws and levels and drills, too. You feeling me?

Dear God,

1. If we are going to spend eternity with you, in a place where there are no tears, no sadness, no hunger, trees full of ripe fruit, rivers streaming with schools of yummy fish, and streets paved of gold, we should probably be spending more time thinking about and focusing on eternity rather than on our short time here on earth, right? Because, logically speaking: eternity > 100 years. By a long shot. I guess that's why you say "do not collect and hoard material possessions here on earth, where rust will corrode them and moths will eat them away (and we have to leave the possessions behind when we leave), but instead store up treasures in heaven where rust and moths cannot touch them." And probably also why you say, "What is your life? Your life is like a vapor, here for a moment, and then gone the next." Because, to you, 100 years is the blink of an eye.

Am I right to conclude that we should probably be WAY LESS stressed in these 100 years than we actually are? I mean, I know there are things you want us to do and you have a purpose for all of us in these 100 years, but if we focus on eternity, it really kind of takes a huge burden of stress off of us, because we know we have "forever" coming on the other side. We probably shouldn't stress out about things like, "The grocery store ran out of milk" or "I applied for a job and nobody called me back" or "That guy cut me off on the road". We kind of need to just chill out, right?

2. I can haz cheeseburger?

INTPness,

1. Yes.
2. Hell, yes!
 
Joined
Jun 6, 2007
Messages
7,312
MBTI Type
INTJ
Dear God,

It seems you are very familiar with the proclivities of the INTJs you created. ;)

If you hadn't taken on the position of Supreme Creator and Ruler of the Universe, what would you have liked to do instead?

Ragashree,

Thank you for asking about me. Nobody really does that. It's all about them. Their job, their love life, their money, their family...nobody just takes a minute to ask how I am. I appreciate it.

As for what I'd do if I chose not to be the creator (no need to capitalize, I'm a chill deity), I really couldn't do anything. I created the universe because it's the only thing I could do. I suppose I could have created a different kind of universe, but I had to create something, or I'd just be like that damn Star Child at the end of 2001: A Space Odyssey - chilling alone in space. Not cool. I'm much happier to have created lemon trees and the color red and Motley Crue.

Dear God,

You skipped my post, omniscient my ass.

wolfy

Wolfy,

God does not skip. He waits.
 
A

Anew Leaf

Guest
Dear God,

Did you make me only to serve as a warning to others? Or is there some other magical purpose that has not yet unfolded before me?

:heart:
~speck of star dust in girl form

P.S. I REALLY want a pony. Or a shark. :c Why did you make me love ponies and sharks if I can't be with them?
 
Joined
Jun 6, 2007
Messages
7,312
MBTI Type
INTJ
Dear God,

Did you make me only to serve as a warning to others? Or is there some other magical purpose that has not yet unfolded before me?

:heart:
~speck of star dust in girl form

Saturned,

I would never create anyone to serve only as a warning. You can be so much more than that! Why, in this forum alone you are a counselor of dubious consummate skill. Besides, it would be a waste to make you serve as a warning. If I've learned one thing in 10,000 years* of being God, it's that people don't fucking listen.

P.S. I REALLY want a pony. Or a shark. :c Why did you make me love ponies and sharks if I can't be with them?

I don't make anyone love ponies. I find them cloying and banal. As for sharks, you can be with them all you want! You just probably won't be with them for very long.


* Hahaha. I kid.
 

Saslou

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2009
Messages
4,910
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Dear God.

I am sleep deprived (only had 7 hours last night) so my mind is wandering. Can you please answer the following questions?

Why did the big bang happen at the precise moment it did? Why not a billion years earlier if things were floating and bumping into each other? Also if something reacted thus the bang happened, did it only happen in one place or was it more like lots of fireworks going off simultaneously? And lastly, my latest theory .. If the universe is expanding could it be the black holes are in place to stabilise the expansion?

I know i could ask questions about me but i feel insignificant relative to the universe. OK then just 1 question, will it get easier?

Thank you for your time,
Kind regards

Sas-Lou
 
Joined
Jun 6, 2007
Messages
7,312
MBTI Type
INTJ
Dear God.

I am sleep deprived (only had 7 hours last night) so my mind is wandering. Can you please answer the following questions?

Why did the big bang happen at the precise moment it did? Why not a billion years earlier if things were floating and bumping into each other?

Saslou,

It happened when it did because that's when I was ready. There is a lot of prep work involved in creating a universe - it doesn't happen overnight. First I have to create the elements, then I have to set up an entire system of physical laws. And don't even get me started on trying to oversee a project of this scope with union labor.

Also if something reacted thus the bang happened, did it only happen in one place or was it more like lots of fireworks going off simultaneously?

The Big Bang happened because I lit the fuse. There was no way I was going to set up the whole thing and then just wait for it to react. I totally pushed the plunger on that SOB. So yes, it happened in only one place. It's kind of elegant that way.

And lastly, my latest theory .. If the universe is expanding could it be the black holes are in place to stabilise the expansion?

I'll be honest here...black holes are bugs in the system. If you think a laptop is complicated, try a universe. I'm still working the kinks out. In the meantime, steer clear. I'll try to get some orange cones up around them.

I know i could ask questions about me but i feel insignificant relative to the universe. OK then just 1 question, will it get easier?

You know, Sas, it may or may not get easier in an objective sense. That's really not what I control. But it will get easier for you if you rely on those around you to help you and keep your spirits up and bring joy to your life. And that includes me!
 
Last edited:
A

Anew Leaf

Guest
Dear God,

What happens when we die? I would REALLY like to explore the universe and learn stuff that I didn't get a chance to learn while on Earth. Is this possible? Or am I going to be stuck wearing wings (!!), a toga :)sadbanana:), and halo (!!!!!!!) while playing a harp (you made me tone deaf btw)?

Thanks!

~A galaxy of organic elements coalescing into something before dissolving into something else entirely.

P.S. you totally love ponies yourself. Not even you can resist the allure of big eyes and shiny hooves and a fluffy mane! There is no other reason to ponies other than to love!
P.P.S. I would also accept a whale shark (who will not eat me) as a pet any day.
 
R

ReflecTcelfeR

Guest
God,

What are you made out of? Do you have a God? Is he your father? Are we like grand children to the nth degree? Can you die? If you die what happens to us?
 
Joined
Jun 6, 2007
Messages
7,312
MBTI Type
INTJ
Dear God,

What happens when we die? I would REALLY like to explore the universe and learn stuff that I didn't get a chance to learn while on Earth. Is this possible? Or am I going to be stuck wearing wings (!!), a toga :)sadbanana:), and halo (!!!!!!!) while playing a harp (you made me tone deaf btw)?

Saturned,

You can't expect me to give away my biggest secret! It's like asking someone to enjoy and invest themselves in Citizen Kane after you tell them what "Rosebud" means! That said, I'll give you the classic politician non-answer answer. All is possible with me. By the way, togas are given out on a case-by-case basis, if you know what I mean. It's everyone else's heaven, too.

Thanks!

~A galaxy of organic elements coalescing into something before dissolving into something else entirely.

Stop summing up life better than I can. I don't think I have to tell you that it doesn't end well for people who cross me.

Hah! I had you there for a minute! I'm not that kind of God.

:thelook:

P.S. you totally love ponies yourself. Not even you can resist the allure of big eyes and shiny hooves and a fluffy mane! There is no other reason to ponies other than to love!
P.P.S. I would also accept a whale shark (who will not eat me) as a pet any day.

I understand that you love ponies, but not everyone does. If you want to know the truth, I created ponies on a dare to create a pointless animal. They're like horses, but too small to be of any use. They wind up in undignified petting zoos until they're not cute anymore, then God only knows what happens to them. Kind of like former members of Menudo.

If you want a whale shark, you've come to the wrong department. I get so many prayers and requests that I can't handle them all. I take the important ones, but I hired a guy to handle of all humankind's vulgar material requests. I think you guys call him Santa Claus. Sometimes I want THAT guy's job. He's like a grandparent. He gets to be the guy that brings you cool shit, and I get to be the guy that tells you everything fun is a sin.
 
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