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Ask God

Joined
Jun 6, 2007
Messages
7,312
MBTI Type
INTJ
God,

On a scale of one to ten, how much do you enjoy fucking with me?

Silently Honest,

I take no joy in your troubles. In fact, as I explained to someone else, I don't do things to people. People do things to each other. Your life fits into a plan larger than yourself, which is why faith is so important. I know it's easy to ask you to have faith...much easier than it is for you to do it. I ask that you look for evidence of me in the world around you just a little more closely. I know you're strong enough to handle what comes your way. If you feel at times that you cannot, remember two things: You've chosen good friends, and I'm always nearby.

Oh, one more thing...hang on to those comics. Trust me.
 

iwakar

crush the fences
Joined
May 2, 2007
Messages
4,877
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Dear God,

What is it with cat avatars and Fi-users? --particularly xxFPs? I've noticed this correlating trend since I joined the forum 4+ years ago... /mystified
 
Joined
Jun 6, 2007
Messages
7,312
MBTI Type
INTJ
Dear God,

What is it with cat avatars and Fi-users? --particularly xxFPs? I've noticed this correlating trend since I joined the forum 4+ years ago... /mystified

iwakar,

Truly, the virus-like proliferation of cat avatars is a phenomenon that vexes even the brightest minds on Earth and in heaven. As God, I've got a lot of things on my plate, so I must confess that I am not an expert on functions. However, if I may be glib for a moment, xxFPs like cuddly-wuddly stuff. And what is more cuddly-wuddly than a curious kitten batting around a ball of twine? Or a brave little man dangling from a tree branch and urging you to hang in there when that sonofabitch Phil in accounting makes sure that each day in your cubicle finds you born anew into mind-numbing agony?

Sorry, got carried away there for a second. Long story short, kittehs is cute.
 
G

Ginkgo

Guest
Dear God,

I seriously think you're a troll. I mean that's cool and all since you're the Truth at the same time. But seriously. Vestigial organs. Echidnas. Back hair.

I don't mean to talk about you like you're some sort of dickless pantywaste. But it's getting ridiculous.

I guess the fundamental rules of the universe can come up with that stuff, and I don't want to be boastful and prideful like I'm an exception. But yeah. You're silly.
 
A

A window to the soul

Guest
Nerd Girl,

I apologize for my vague, reflexive answers this evening. But let me ask you this. In your heaven, would there be Ford Mustangs?

For the record, if there ARE Mustangs in heaven, we will pretend the second and third generation Mustangs never happened.

God,

Thanks for the reply. To answer your question, in my heaven there would be a 1967 Acapulco Blue Mustang with white leather interior. Preferably showroom quality because I don't know how to restore a classic stang without your help.

And God, I'll just pretend I didn't hear that part about the second and third gen stangs. -covers poor pony ears-


Love,
Nerd Girl
 
A

A window to the soul

Guest
This thread nearly restored my faith in God!

God doesn't always answer right away, but if I'm wrong and there isn't a God up in heaven, then I'm a really powerful girl. :x -bursts out laughing-

God, If I have to leave this world with all of these big dreams and unfinished business, I'm prayin' for that '67 Stang and an air conditioned garage AND I WANT places to go and people to see up there!! Happy people!! Happy big yellow grin'ed people. Toothless is fine. God, Are you listening??
 

gromit

likes this
Joined
Mar 3, 2010
Messages
6,508
Dear God,
How can I know what you want me to do with my life? Do you deal in specifics?

gromit
 
A

Anew Leaf

Guest
Dear God,

Why is it that I feel like you are whispering in my ear about something, and then it doesn't happen the way I think it will?

~ :heart: a tiny speck of soul dust floating on earth
 

INTPness

New member
Joined
Jan 22, 2009
Messages
2,157
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Dear God,

1. If we are going to spend eternity with you, in a place where there are no tears, no sadness, no hunger, trees full of ripe fruit, rivers streaming with schools of yummy fish, and streets paved of gold, we should probably be spending more time thinking about and focusing on eternity rather than on our short time here on earth, right? Because, logically speaking: eternity > 100 years. By a long shot. I guess that's why you say "do not collect and hoard material possessions here on earth, where rust will corrode them and moths will eat them away (and we have to leave the possessions behind when we leave), but instead store up treasures in heaven where rust and moths cannot touch them." And probably also why you say, "What is your life? Your life is like a vapor, here for a moment, and then gone the next." Because, to you, 100 years is the blink of an eye.

Am I right to conclude that we should probably be WAY LESS stressed in these 100 years than we actually are? I mean, I know there are things you want us to do and you have a purpose for all of us in these 100 years, but if we focus on eternity, it really kind of takes a huge burden of stress off of us, because we know we have "forever" coming on the other side. We probably shouldn't stress out about things like, "The grocery store ran out of milk" or "I applied for a job and nobody called me back" or "That guy cut me off on the road". We kind of need to just chill out, right?

2. I can haz cheeseburger?
 
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