Hate or Love: Which is more powerful?

[Anew Leaf]

I question perception of emotions in general, particularly the stronger ones.

Are you saying: what is the process that someone takes when they declare if they love or hate something/one?

Are we viewing emotions in a less evolved manner when we tag good/bad, right and wrong to them, especially when considering how all emotions are natural components of being human?

Are you saying: We should try and stand back more instead of being quick to jump in and procure a judgement or emotion on something just because we feel it?

 

[Thalassa]

marm, you're completely missing my points. Reread my post again without bias.

Well if you're saying that we should accept all emotions without bias then that is actually something that is frequently suggested by psychologists and counselors, that there's no such thing as a "wrong" feeling, that it's important to acknowledge and accept all of your feelings, but it is the acting upon those feelings that makes the difference.

Like dwelling on negative emotion - going beyond mere acceptance - can make us sick. And acting out in anger by hitting your children is wrong, although the anger itself should be acknowledged and dealt with, so I agree with you if that's what you're saying.

 

[rav3n]

Are you saying: what is the process that someone takes when they declare if they love or hate something/one?

It is process, application and one more thing I didn't put in that post but in another, and that's motivation.

What prompts us to feel this emotion? How will you apply the results of this emotion or not? If you apply the results, why?

The answers to these questions will be answers to ourselves.

Are you saying: We should try and stand back more instead of being quick to jump in and procure a judgement or emotion on something just because we feel it?

Imagine feeling hatred. Why do you feel hatred towards xyz? If the belief is that hatred is "bad", what happens within you to offset? Do you feel guilty? Do you repress it? How do you react? And when you react with guilt or repression, does this cause dissonance within you? What does it do to your Freudian ego or self?

 

[rav3n]

Well if you're saying that we should accept all emotions without bias then that is actually something that is frequently suggested by psychologists and counselors, that there's no such thing as a "wrong" feeling, that it's important to acknowledge and accept all of your feelings, but it is the acting upon those feelings that makes the difference.

Like dwelling on negative emotion - going beyond mere acceptance - can make us sick. And acting out in anger by hitting your children is wrong, although the anger itself should be acknowledged and dealt with, so I agree with you if that's what you're saying.

Take it one step further. Why are emotions viewed in a negative or positive way, as well as why do you feel this way?

 

[Anew Leaf]

It is process, application and one more thing I didn't put in that post but in another, and that's motivation.

What prompts us to feel this emotion? How will you apply the results of this emotion or not? If you apply the results, why?

The answers to these questions will be answers to ourselves.

Imagine feeling hatred. Why do you feel hatred towards xyz? If the belief is that hatred is "bad", what happens within you to offset? Do you feel guilty? Do you repress it? How do you react? And when you react with guilt or repression, does this cause dissonance within you? What does it do to your Freudian ego or self?

Interesting the way you are able to break this down. It is very difficult for me to do this, although once I see it spoken in plain English I can recognize it for what it is.

I don't know if you actually want me to answer this so I will hold off rather than jump in.

 

[rav3n]

Interesting the way you are able to break this down. It is very difficult for me to do this, although once I see it spoken in plain English I can recognize it for what it is.

I don't know if you actually want me to answer this so I will hold off rather than jump in.

Frankly, it's not easy for me to express any of this. Like pulling teeth as an emotional limp-along!

It's up to you whether you want to answer or not. If it will be cathartic or you feel its of benefit to others, do so. If it makes you feel vulnerable, it's probably not a good idea.

 

[Thalassa]

Take it one step further. Why are emotions viewed in a negative or positive way, as well as why do you feel this way?

Because of the consequences of those feelings that hurt ourselves and other people. Like repressed anger has been linked to cancer. Anger often inspires people to violence or other forms of abuse, while on the other hand anger can also tell us "something is wrong, get away from this person, protect yourself."

Same with depression. Depression often takes away the will to live and interrupts productivity and enjoyment of life...but again, can signal to us that we need to change something in our lives to feel happier and become more productive.

All emotions are useful, including painful emotions, or those which frequently are linked to destructive behavior. Anger can help motivate us, sadness can point us in a direction that is better for us. I embrace all feelings as part of being human.

I, of all people, am all about embracing every single emotion, and I don't like emotional repression or people who say expressing "negative" feelings at all is impolite or wrong in some way.

So we're very much in agreement on that.

But we label those feelings as negative because of the behaviors and consequences which often follow those feelings in people who don't stop to consider other things.

Like, "I cut my ex-wives brakes because I hate her because she hurt me and she made me so mad. Ooops! I didn't mean to accidentally kill my three children, too."

That's why they're labelled as "negative" emotions - because they cause us to feel pain and are linked to abhorrent behavior.

As I say, though, with the proper perspective, anger and sadness can motivate us to make positive changes in our lives.

It's a matter of self-awareness, education, and maturity, usually.

 

[SRT]

It's not for me to say what the "why" is for you. If anything, I'm questioning perception and the social construct of love/hate. So I'm curious to hear everyone else's thoughts.

Hmm, well I was responding from a more individual-focused stance as opposed to a community-oriented perspective. I can't say for certain that growing up in a culture that associated hate=good, love=bad that I would still think the same, but in that alternate universe I would be something other than me, anyway. I accept that all of my values come (at least in part) from the society that I grew up in. But that doesn't change how I view the topic. I think trying to answer these questions for more than one person quickly becomes too complicated and murky.

(Psst. Am I getting warmer?)

Well if you're saying that we should accept all emotions without bias then that is actually something that is frequently suggested by psychologists and counselors, that there's no such thing as a "wrong" feeling, that it's important to acknowledge and accept all of your feelings, but it is the acting upon those feelings that makes the difference.

Like dwelling on negative emotion - going beyond mere acceptance - can make us sick. And acting out in anger by hitting your children is wrong, although the anger itself should be acknowledged and dealt with, so I agree with you if that's what you're saying.

Re bolded: Couldn't agree more. Actually I agree with everything, but especially the bolded.

 

[rav3n]

And yet, if you analyse historical references to what people do for "love", some of the worst behaviours have manifested for "love".

Love or hate aren't good or bad. It's process, application and motivation, no?

 

[Thalassa]

And yet, if you analyse historical references to what people do for "love", some of the worst behaviours have manifested for "love".

Do you mean love as sexual passion, or love as love? Because I'll agree with you if you say that bad behaviors have been linked to sexual passion, though I don't agree about love in general as a feeling of goodwill toward one's family, friends, neighborhood, humankind, and/or pets.

 

[rav3n]

Do you mean love as sexual passion, or love as love? Because I'll agree with you if you say that bad behaviors have been linked to sexual passion, though I don't agree about love in general as a feeling of goodwill toward one's family, friends, neighborhood, humankind, and/or pets.

As in, I will kill these three people for their money, in order to feed my family?

 

[Anew Leaf]

Imagine feeling hatred. Why do you feel hatred towards xyz? If the belief is that hatred is "bad", what happens within you to offset? Do you feel guilty? Do you repress it? How do you react? And when you react with guilt or repression, does this cause dissonance within you? What does it do to your Freudian ego or self?

Hatred for me is very unusual. It takes A LOT for me to actually hate someone. It is usually an emotion I feel for a brief time and then it burns itself up and I am done. If I am not angry with someone then it is extremely difficult for me to continue hating them. Without any emotional undercurrents I can't sustain the hate.

The Whys vary in specifics, but usually break down into:- I have been hurt by someone (betrayal, attack)
- A breach of my little core values

what happens within you to offset?
- On rare occasions I am feeling this emotion without necessarily having the logic to back it up. Heat of the moment, I am angry, I hate you right this minute, kind of a thing.
- On other occasions it is a series of events that have lead me to this emotion. I don't want to be an angry/hateful person so I actively work on getting rid of this emotion. That process can be varied from just experiencing the emotion and letting it ride, to trying to work on a peace between me and the other person, or just making the choice to no longer be angry/hateful about the event.

Do you feel guilty?
- Sometimes I do. If I feel I don't have enough internal "back-up" to feel this strong of an emotion.

Do you repress it?
- I have in the past repressed these feelings. I finally learned that while I may not like anger and hatred, I definitely don't like what happens when I repress these emotions. I still will work on maintaining my self control, however.

And when you react with guilt or repression, does this cause dissonance within you?
- Yes, actually it can. I have learned that even if the emotions are negative... that doesn't mean I don't have the right to feel them for a time. Feeling guilty or repressing the emotions just causes them to fester and build unncessarily which will foster what I don't want to do; which is to hold onto the hate and anger.

Hopefully that makes sense.

 

[Thalassa]

As in, I will kill these three people for their money, in order to feed my family?

I think that's an animal survival instinct. People do things they perhaps would not otherwise choose to do when they and their genetic offspring are in danger of death.

 

[guesswho]

Where is the love?

 

[rav3n]

I think that's an animal survival instinct. People do things they perhaps would not otherwise choose to do when they and their genetic offspring are in danger of death.

And such is all emotion. It is neurobiological in nature.

Love, hate, guilt, remorse, happiness, sadness, anger, none of it is good or bad. It's being human.

 

[Anew Leaf]

And such is all emotion. It is neurobiological in nature.

Love, hate, guilt, remorse, happiness, sadness, anger, none of it is good or bad. It's being human.

And we have come to the center of the shrubbery maze.

Good times. I am enjoying myself hugely.

 

[rav3n]

<snip>

I've snipped your responses just to shorten my post. Now apply your responses to ego or self. IF you viewed anger and hatred in a neutral fashion, how would it impact on your perception of self?

 

[Stigmata]

And such is all emotion. It is neurobiological in nature.

Love, hate, guilt, remorse, happiness, sadness, anger, none of it is good or bad. It's being human.

And we have come to the center of the shrubbery maze.

Good times. I am enjoying myself hugely.

*monotone flight attendant voice over the PA system*

I hope you've enjoyed your flight here on Semantics Airways. Our in flight movie this evening will be Father of the Bride starring Steve Martin, and our in flight meal will be steamed clams, broccoli, all topped off with an elegant parcley garnish.

 

[rav3n]

And we have come to the center of the shrubbery maze.

Good times. I am enjoying myself hugely.

Oh fine! Brag about it! My brain tooth hurts!

 

[rav3n]

*monotone flight attendant voice*

I hope you've enjoyed your flight here on Semantics Airways. Our in flight movie this evening will be Father of the Bride starring Steve Martin, and our in flight meal will be steamed clams, broccoli, all topped off with an elegant parcley garnish.

Hush! It's not semantics. And this from a Ti-Ne-er?

*huffs away*