• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

Talking to other people in your mind, and distinguishing yourself from them

Retmeishka

New member
Joined
Jan 13, 2011
Messages
239
MBTI Type
ISTP
Warning: My writing can be very long-winded and detailed. Please be patient with me. Not only that but I am also still a clueless newbie.

I think this topic might fit under 'spirituality' because it's about my struggle to know who I am and to be myself and to live my life.

Does anyone else here talk to other people in their mind? (and are you willing to admit it in front of hundreds of readers?) Are they friendly or unfriendly to you? For instance do you talk to: spiritual guides, God, imaginary friends, or subpersonalities? Do you talk back and forth to 'yourself,' in your mind, and sometimes get into arguments and conflicts with another part of yourself that seems to disagree with you?

About me:

For many years I used to dialogue with myself in my mind when I meditated, but it wasn't a problem until 2003, when all of a sudden I started having 'unwelcome visitors' and started hearing voices I didn't want to hear, and I had no control over them. I came out of the closet and started blogging about it, and my close friends and family all know, and I am coping with it without medication... but yes, it continues, and I would rather not have this problem.

Everyone will explain it differently. I explain it as technological: I believe that I am being attacked by people using electronic weapons. Other people who experience this might describe it as being attacked by ghosts, demons, psychic powers gone haywire, or something supernatural. Others believe that part of their own brain is malfunctioning.

I experience myself being controlled and forced to say things and write things, like a puppet. Often, my words are not my own. It's like having multiple personalities, except I'm awake and conscious while I'm talking, and I don't go into a 'fugue' - I don't go unconscious and forget what I did while in another personality.

A conflict between me and 'other personality types,' not just a conflict, but a WAR, inside my mind, has been the ongoing theme since the attacks began. I recognize the other types because they are different from myself. For instance, 'they' give me nightmares that contain offensive sexual symbolism. I myself don't use sexual symbolism, I'm clueless about it, and sexual symbolism goes right over my head. I might get curious once in a while and read about it on the web, but I don't use it myself. People can make jokes secretly with sexual innuendos and many times I'm so naive that I don't even notice what they're saying.

Trying to find my 'real self' has been my goal since this began. It was my goal even before I had the attacks. I've learned about personality types as part of that goal.

I've been mistyped into many different categories. When I was in college, from 1993-1997, my roommate took the Myers-Briggs test on the computer and came out ISTJ. I became curious. I took it and got INTP. Took it again, got INTJ, then INFP. Then I took it a bunch more times until I figured out what letter each question controlled, so that I could arbitrarily get whatever result I wanted. (I believe the test needs to be drastically redesigned and that it's mistyping huge numbers of people.) Years later I decided ISTP, then ISFP. My enneagram type has been all over the place. First I thought I was a One, then Nine, Six, Seven, Five, Four, and now Three. So I've tried on all except Eight and Two - I'm very sure that I'm not either of those.

Having a war between myself and the 'other people' inside me has been the theme of the past few years of my life. I'm trying to recognize them, distinguish them from myself, and get along with them, if possible, without losing myself. I like to use personality typing systems to help me see them and myself more clearly.
 

Llewellyn

New member
Joined
Oct 30, 2008
Messages
330
MBTI Type
INtj
Enneagram
9w1
A conflict between me and 'other personality types,' not just a conflict, but a WAR, inside my mind, has been the ongoing theme since the attacks began. I recognize the other types because they are different from myself. For instance, 'they' give me nightmares that contain offensive sexual symbolism. I myself don't use sexual symbolism, I'm clueless about it, and sexual symbolism goes right over my head. I might get curious once in a while and read about it on the web, but I don't use it myself. People can make jokes secretly with sexual innuendos and many times I'm so naive that I don't even notice what they're saying.
Well, you seem to carry a strong contradiction between your real life perception of sexuality and your dream's perception of it. Couldn't you see it as 'they' are trying to give you something, in stead of judging it for whether it fits who you see yourself as?

My enneagram type has been all over the place. First I thought I was a One, then Nine, Six, Seven, Five, Four, and now Three. So I've tried on all except Eight and Two - I'm very sure that I'm not either of those.
Well, I have neither 8 nor 2 high in my scores. Although I have 3 also low, the others all occur somewhat highly in my scores. And I am a 9. I've heard type 9s are the hardest to type themselves. Then, for an ISFP type 9 appears not to be uncommon. And considering the things you're busy with, it doesn't contradict type 9 either.
 

Lark

Active member
Joined
Jun 21, 2009
Messages
29,569
I recognise this as being similar to the sorts of true self vs. false persona thinking there is in some of Karen Horney's books about self-analysis or internal conflicts, there's other authors who have written thematically similar psychodynamic theory books, describing how internal conflicts can begin to take the shape of true selve and false self or selves which are disowned or alienated/estranged, to the point of splitting or as you yourself describe being attributed to external phenomenon, ie spirits or technology.

I've not personally experienced this, I've only read about it and I wouldnt want to confuse what are a number of different topics, for instance demonic obsession or possession (which I believe are objective facts), God, imaginary friends (its a bug bear of mine that people make that analogy) but I am familiar with inner monologue and dialogue as a consequence of being a thinker and reflector.

However, from my own experience of internal conflicts and analysing myself and trying to uncover my unconscious I would say that whether they are unpleasant or not rather than seperating conflicting emotions/affects or drives from my self I've dealt with the fact that they are all part of me, I dont construct personal falsehood or fantasy in order to motivate me or create optimism like some people and I dont even engage in much by way of visualisation or that kind of positive thinking because I prefer to keep in touch with reality and be realistic about my self.
 

Retmeishka

New member
Joined
Jan 13, 2011
Messages
239
MBTI Type
ISTP
Couldn't you see it as 'they' are trying to give you something, in stead of judging it for whether it fits who you see yourself as?

Actually, 'they' do often tell me that they are trying to help me or give me something. They get along better with me if I seem to appreciate what they're doing or at least show sympathy for them. The 'sex symbols' dreams don't happen very often anyway - it was just one example where I can see a personality different from my own, inside my head.


Well, I have neither 8 nor 2 high in my scores. Although I have 3 also low, the others all occur somewhat highly in my scores. And I am a 9. I've heard type 9s are the hardest to type themselves. Then, for an ISFP type 9 appears not to be uncommon. And considering the things you're busy with, it doesn't contradict type 9 either.

Yes, I remember reading that unhealthy 9s, at the lowest level of development, under extreme stress, might show "multiple personalities." That resembles what I experience, except that it's not that severe with me. So yeah, it fits with 9 in that way.
 

Retmeishka

New member
Joined
Jan 13, 2011
Messages
239
MBTI Type
ISTP
I recognise this as being similar to the sorts of true self vs. false persona thinking there is in some of Karen Horney's books about self-analysis or internal conflicts, there's other authors who have written thematically similar psychodynamic theory books, describing how internal conflicts can begin to take the shape of true selve and false self or selves which are disowned or alienated/estranged, to the point of splitting or as you yourself describe being attributed to external phenomenon, ie spirits or technology.

I haven't read Karen Horney's books but I think I would like them. If she's who I'm thinking of, she talks about "connected, disconnected, and ambivalent" types, which somebody connected with the enneagram types.

In the beginning, I did actually think that I was talking to disowned selves or subpersonalities, because I had read Nathaniel Branden's books about self-esteem.

I've not personally experienced this, I've only read about it and I wouldnt want to confuse what are a number of different topics, for instance demonic obsession or possession (which I believe are objective facts), God, imaginary friends (its a bug bear of mine that people make that analogy) but I am familiar with inner monologue and dialogue as a consequence of being a thinker and reflector.

Your bugbear: people saying that God is just another imaginary friend? It sounds like that's what you mean. I agree, God is a much bigger and more complex idea than that. God can be seen as an abstraction, or an ideal, or all kinds of things, not just an imaginary friend that you talk to.

However, from my own experience of internal conflicts and analysing myself and trying to uncover my unconscious I would say that whether they are unpleasant or not rather than seperating conflicting emotions/affects or drives from my self I've dealt with the fact that they are all part of me, I dont construct personal falsehood or fantasy in order to motivate me or create optimism like some people and I dont even engage in much by way of visualisation or that kind of positive thinking because I prefer to keep in touch with reality and be realistic about my self.

Yeah... that's how it used to be with me in the 'good old days.' I used to have a rather normal inner dialogue. A bunch of things happened, and it's a long story, but stuff happened which led me to conclude that I was being attacked by something external instead of my own inner selves.

And nowadays, many of the voices and feelings in my mind seem to be clearly different from myself, but to a much greater extreme than, for instance, some guilty thought or feeling that I'm ashamed of and don't want to admit is part of me. It's much more than that. I actually hear voices talking on their own, spontaneously, without any effort from myself, whenever I meditate and try to silence my mind. I also have other things happen, again, long story. The voices talking spontaneously is a new thing that didn't used to happen to me. It's the same as hearing someone else talk - you don't control it, you don't know what they're going to say, what they say is unexpected and unpredictable, and you can't stop them from saying it.

(I know it's upsetting to hear about this, which is why I blog instead of running around complaining about it to everyone I know. People are usually concerned about me.)
 

xisnotx

Permabanned
Joined
Sep 24, 2010
Messages
2,144
I do talk to myself in my head. I talk to others too. Friends and family...even complete strangers. It's quite fun and helps me think through problems. I even talk to random posters here and elsewhere..imagining what I would say if someone asked me certain questions..what my position would be on certain topics..how I would defend my position..

What I find strange is why you think that the other "yous" aren't you. I definitely have different sides to me. There's extroverted me, there's logical me, there's wants to have fun me, etc. Some of the "me's" are different types. entp/exfj, intp, esfp respectively. But they are all me. Sometimes internal conflict does arise..i would say my exfj side dislikes my intp side.. but these sides are ultimately all what constitutes what I would call "me". Why is it different for you? Why do you think one "you" is more you than another?
 

Lark

Active member
Joined
Jun 21, 2009
Messages
29,569
Its not really upsetting to hear, its interesting, it could be upsetting to experience (but then again it may not be).

Horney's good on inner conflicts but her book on self-analysis, which I think came after, is probably her best, its one of the first self-help books and gets slated a bit but I thought it was good because it admitted its incompleteness.

It sounds like you've experienced a full scale splitting off or fragmenting of the ego, so long as you've got people supporting or helping you with the difficulties that's bound to create it's grand talking about it, I'd be more worried if you where typing about it and suggesting its no big thing. From the literature and my meetings with people who had similar experiences its unusual to meet someone who has purely auditory hallucinations without other hallucinatory experiences too, ie sights or smells.

Jung writes about internal complexes, the ego-I being one of them, denied or repressed complexes he suggests can be projected out into the world, experienced as things like hallucination, complexes in Jung's theory are archetypes which have become embedded or activated in the (particularly unconscious) mind. Its one conceptualisation of this kind of experience which makes sense to me and I find helpful to use in understanding and talking to others about this kind of thing. Its maybe got more literary than psychological merit but its a handy theory.

I think a lot of medical accounts of splitting off or multiple personalities generally consider it as requiring and organic basis, ie lesions on the brain, toxicology etc. Although, mind you, there's still others which suggest multiple personalities dont exist at all, its all learned behaviour and acquired, maladaptive habits.
 

Retmeishka

New member
Joined
Jan 13, 2011
Messages
239
MBTI Type
ISTP
A million permutations of me

And yet, one reality

I used to think about reincarnation. I thought that if somebody else was born, and they were 'seeing out their own eyes' the same way that I myself saw out my own eyes, it was almost like being reborn. They just wouldn't know the same things I knew. They'd be born in a different location, in a different culture, in a different specific set of experiences, but they're just like me again.

I thought about that to reassure myself that, no matter what happened, whether I succeeded or failed at what I wanted to do, it would be okay to die. I never believed in going to heaven so I had to reassure myself about death somehow. Some other permutation of me will try it again after I'm gone.
 

Thisica

New member
Joined
Feb 19, 2011
Messages
383
MBTI Type
NiTe
Enneagram
5w4
I currently have such continuous contact with one. Her name is Alexandria, and she considers herself to be just another part of the mind-brain, just like me, but with a more recent beginning, starting in 2006. We 'talk' and record transcripts based on a variety of topics. Recently, we discussed whether I should go to see a Jungian psychodynamic analyst. She pointed out the issues of privacy and the scientific status of this area of psychology, and I tried to explain to her that I was curious about it. She has quite a critical spirit, which I find at times, intolerable. But we all 'co-exist' in the mind-brain quite fine.

I rarely tell anyone else about this, as I know that it's a societal taboo to talk about such things. Also, the both of us don't find talking about this productive, anyway.
 
Joined
Jul 8, 2010
Messages
450
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Yes, but unlike you I recognize these voices as different branches of myself or my psyche and not as entirely separate entities. I honestly don't take more than a grain of salt when it comes to things like "multiple personalities". Is it possible? Yes, just like Big Foot and El Chupacabra, but I still see it as a coping mechanism in which people who have repressed their innate desires start to lose control and these innate desires start emerging in various forms. Maybe it's them or their subconscious, but I believe something within themselves has made them think these "voices" and "personalities" aren't coming from them. Have you thought about that? Maybe you are doing something to sabotage your mind-frame? It could be spontaneous or stem from some sort of trauma. Or it could be exactly what you stated it to be.
 

Thisica

New member
Joined
Feb 19, 2011
Messages
383
MBTI Type
NiTe
Enneagram
5w4
Yes, but unlike you I recognize these voices as different branches of myself or my psyche and not as entirely separate entities. I honestly don't take more than a grain of salt when it comes to things like "multiple personalities". Is it possible? Yes, just like Big Foot and El Chupacabra, but I still see it as a coping mechanism in which people who have repressed their innate desires start to lose control and these innate desires start emerging in various forms. Maybe it's them or their subconscious, but I believe something within themselves has made them think these "voices" and "personalities" aren't coming from them. Have you thought about that? Maybe you are doing something to sabotage your mind-frame? It could be spontaneous or stem from some sort of trauma. Or it could be exactly what you stated it to be.

Out of interest...are you replying to the OP or to me?
[Trying not to be self-indulgent.]
 

Fluffywolf

Nips away your dignity
Joined
Mar 31, 2009
Messages
9,581
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I've had a time when I 'conversed' with another version of myself when I was younger, I did it to gain perspective on all kinds of things. From little, meaningless ponderings to the larger than life questions..

Ultimately, I became that version of myself so I no longer need to converse to him. :p
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
hmmm yes, the worse was the time I had to listen to about ohio for three hours trying to go to sleep. It's like shut up, I don't care about ohio and how awesome it is. apparently it's the best state ever!
 

HotpinkHeatwave

New member
Joined
Nov 30, 2009
Messages
379
MBTI Type
ENFP
To be completely honest, this sounds like paranoid schizophrenia. Maybe I'm being captain obvious.. But you have a lot of the symptoms:

- Hearing unwanted/unfamiliar voices
- Paranoia/The Belief you are under attack
- Feeling compelled to do things
- Not feeling as though you are yourself; Loss of self awareness

But I could be wrong.. I just hope the best for you, and I'd do some research on paranoid schizophrenia.
 

HotpinkHeatwave

New member
Joined
Nov 30, 2009
Messages
379
MBTI Type
ENFP
And I must add..

When I was little, I used to fantasize A LOT. Half the time, I wasn't even in the real world. I had such a vivid imagination, that my focus would be entirely on my mind's eye, and i'd be in a whole different world. I would walk around in the real world, imagining myself in a different world, talking to people and things that weren't there in reality. I would speak for the people and things, and then speak back.. I was having a conversation with myself, but to me, it was with myself and whoever I imagined.

I could of course differentiate reality from fantasy.. But I preferred my fantasy world much, much more.

Now that I am very much older, I don't do this anymore. Sometimes I'll create stories in my head that I can invision as if my mind's eye was a movie screen, but I don't speak to anyone. I would certainly get some odd looks.

My situation is obviously no like your's - I know the difference between reality and fantasy. The scary thing is, is that you seem not to.
 
Top