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Forgiveness?

disregard

mrs
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
7,826
MBTI Type
INFP
The propensity for forgiveness (genuine, in your heart) is an extremely beneficial quality to possess.

I have desired forgiveness and been denied it, but I have also been granted it, and it serves as a reminder that people will surprise you in good ways amidst all the bad ways.
 

Morpeko

Noble Wolf
Joined
Sep 20, 2017
Messages
5,414
MBTI Type
LEFV
Enneagram
461
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I am generally pretty bad at recognizing when bad things are done to me, so it can take me a while to get to the point of holding an actual grudge against someone rather than just being bitter or angry at them. However, whenever I get to the point of holding the grudge, it cannot be broken. I've never forgiven someone whom I have come to believe has truly wronged me. Even if they've tried to prove themselves and I believe that they're truly sorry for their actions, I can't help but hold their previous actions over their heads constantly.
 

Peter Deadpan

phallus impudicus
Joined
Dec 14, 2016
Messages
8,883
How good are you at forgiving those who have wronged you?

This pivots entirely on the expression of remorse and display of effort from the other. If anything, I'm too capable. There are scenarios though where I slam the gavel and issue a life sentence with no chance for appeal, but it's extremely rare.

Do you feel that the ability to forgive is a valuable and necessary trait?

Obviously. To lack this ability is to expect perfection, which does not exist.

Have you ever desired forgiveness and was denied it?

Hmmm, I'm not sure but I want to say no. I've asked for forgiveness simultaneously hoping to not be rejected, and still been rejected, but I don't think that's the same as not being forgiven.

In my experience, nothing is more painful than forgiving someone who perhaps doesn't deserve it, and then somehow still being rejected/abandoned by them anyway. It's been a lesson to me to be more discerning in whom I choose to forgive.

If so, how did that make you feel?

Well, like I said, I'm usually forgiven when I express remorse and effort. The latter situation mentioned above feels like shit.

Pro Tip: Don't hold onto people who make you feel like shit, or hurt you, ask for forgiveness, and then again hurt/abandon you anyway.

Edit: I thought of one time I asked for forgiveness and wasn't granted it. It felt awful, for a really long time. I don't find communication uncomfortable enough to avoid, especially when it can solve a problem and save a relationship, so I find that reaction in others perplexing.
 

SirCanSir

Member
Joined
Apr 5, 2020
Messages
92
MBTI Type
hmm
Enneagram
hmm
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
How good are you at forgiving those who have wronged you?

It probably depends on how deeply wronged i felt, how close i am with that person and if I believed they are someone i could reason with to make them understand how i was wronged/affected. I think that my natural mechanism in cases i was close to them is to detach if common ground and understanding is impossible to be reached and keep them at arm's length once my trust was broken. Usually that happened after i brought the issue to their attention first. Well sometimes i got angry with them though and didnt handle it well. I think im very sensitive when i perceive my rights being trampled on in the first place so its a boundary im aware of enough to rarely allow something like this to happen. But in the past i used to fight and withdraw. Im trying to reach a more peaceful conclusion by explaining things calmly first currently.

If i am not close to the person who did though im colder and less tolerant. So i usually maintain my distance and try to make sure i wont be wronged again by them.

Do you feel that the ability to forgive is a valuable and necessary trait?
Ehm... absolutely. Everyone makes mistakes. If we judge people based on one slip up we might as well come to terms with being lonely for life. I try to be forgiving with others' mistakes because no one is perfect and because i expect them to put some effort to be forgiving with mine also.

Have you ever desired forgiveness and was denied it? If so, how did that make you feel?
I think i rarely desired forgiveness when i was aware of my mistake. I frankly dont care much about it since if i have wronged someone (in a way i understand atleast) im more likely to be disappointed and mad at myself for misbehaving. So i end up being more focused in how far i strayed from my path than the other person. The only problem is that sometimes it may take a while for me to reach that conclusion and until then... i could be in denial... I have a bad tendency to trust my own conclusions way more than those i receive from others... and i can be really annoying to deal with if someone is reasoning with me and i perceive them as being too pushy, opinionated or emotional. Im biased to not trust those traits much when im firm about something... which is hypocritical of me. Since those are traits i may show myself if i lose my cool when im trying to reason with others.
I think im sensitive to them because of personal reasons though.
 

Mole

Permabanned
Joined
Mar 20, 2008
Messages
20,284
God forgives us for offending Him, by offering the blood sacrifice of Jesus for our sins.

The blood sacrifice of Jesus redeems the debt we incur through sin, so we call Jesus, our Redeemer, the sacrificial Lamb of God.

This is the official teaching of Christianity, and to those of us of another religion it appears psychotic.

But don't worry, all religions look ridiculous from another religion, while our own religions seems normal and reasonable.

This also apples to astrology and mbti.
 
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