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Teenage Sex

What is your opinion on it?

  • Good thing

    Votes: 13 15.9%
  • Bad thing

    Votes: 21 25.6%
  • Unsure

    Votes: 2 2.4%
  • Neither good nor bad

    Votes: 46 56.1%

  • Total voters
    82

Antimony

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I couldn't put this anywhere else, unfortunately. I figure your morals and the like can go under a philosophy section.

Anyways, I wanted to know your opinions, fellow Type C members. I know my mother's, but what do you guys think? Good, bad, both, neither? I am not posting this for a lecture on pregnancy, so don't even think about it.

I just want some facts, and to compare beliefs. I have read that Western Europeans tend to think of it in a better light than many Americans do. Something that is just a natural part of life...even for a teenager.
 

Fidelia

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I belief that quite aside from religious beliefs there are some reasons why it might be worth staving off:

- The happiest teenagers I know are those that aren't dating. It frees them from a lot of drama and allows them to be friends with whomever they want without being tied down.

- Those years are when your self-identity is most malleable. Allowing someone who is emotionally immature (even if they're fine for how many years they've had to gain experience etc) to shape your self-image seems foolhardy.

- Sex generally has a bonding effect, particularly if the person is of particular emotional significance or it is the first time. Bonding to a number of people who are not going to be part of your life in the long term makes it more difficult to trust someone who is longterm material and to bond well with them. It's like a band-aid that sticks very well at first and eventually gets less sticky. Or like glueing two pieces of paper together and then separating them. Neither paper is going to ever be quite the same. Also because sex has a bonding effect, it is easy to accept less than healthy behaviour from someone because you have a strong emotional tie. Oxytocin creates something akin to a chemical addiction to the person you are with.

- You have the opportunity to observe how different decisions work for the people around you, thereby allowing you to make the best choices that will work for you, rather than be someone's guinea pig.

- Most guys within your age range at this time aren't likely to be very satisfying lovers, nor are they likely to be able to take care of your emotional needs. All the way around, hang on and you'll enjoy the experience more.

- There are nasty STDs out there, some of which cannot be treated easily (genital warts, herpes etc). They are now estimating that at least 50% of the population carry or have the HPV virus, although many don't know that they do. This virus can induce genital warts, or even start irregular cell growth which leads to cervical cancer. Herpes can be passed on even by oral sex and neither it or HPV can be prevented through condom use as they are transmitted through skin to skin contact. Your chances of contracting STDs go up exponentially the more partners you have. If you start now, your count of people (as well as factoring partners who have been with others etc) is likely to be significantly greater.

- You need a fairly strong sense of who you are and what you need from a relationship to not be at all emotionally manipulated or cohearsed (even into agreeing to not use a condom, but also into losing weight, isolating yourself from your friends etc). Mostly life experience and confidence give us that ability. Even if you are very mature for your age, you can only pack so much into 16 years. The stakes here can be fairly high.

- Just like you cringe at music or clothes you liked a few years back, you are likely to cringe at the kind of guys you like now when you look back. Why create a possibly permanent link to them? As a result of a bad long term high school relationship where her boyfriend was verbally abusive and constantly belittled her, my formerly healthy and confident cousin is dealing with bulemia still at 33.

- Birth control pills do have a very significant number of negative health side effects, in addition to messing with who you find attractive! They also aren't recommended for women to be on for most of their reproductive years (so if you start now, you are using up time you could take them later). They are ineffective if not taken consistently at the same time or if taken with antibiotics. Other forms of birth control aren't nearly as reliable as you'd like them to be if it's important not to get pregnant. Many adults can't even take care of this part of their sex life responsibly.

- It's kind of nice for there to be novelty, passion and something to look forward to in the future. Many of the people I went to school with were so sick of dating by the time they were 21 because they had started so young, that they just wanted to get on with finding someone and settling down. In retrospect, many of them regret cutting off their options both educationally and personally before they even had gotten to know themselves.

- Between 16 and 25, you're going to change a lot. If your relationship goes fabulously, chances are that the two of you are not going to change in the same directions. Many people that end up together dating in high school wonder later if they missed out on something.

- Navigating the differences between men and women even in a platonic situation takes a lot of trial and error and self-knowledge. When you throw sex into the mix, it's harder to see objectively. I think it makes sense to get good at just relating easily to each other and working through conflict as it comes up first. Then when you add sex to the mix, you have a strong foundation for communication (which good sex generally requires) and the sex itself is going to be much more enjoyable. You can better articulate what you like and also direct the other person or find out what makes them feel good.

- You need time to figure out what feels good to you yourself. Many women don't know that until years into their sex life and in the meantime have a lot of years of not particularly enjoyable sex.

- If you value your privacy, it is unlikely that the guy you sleep with in high school isn't going to share details with the people you know. If that makes you uncomfortable, you mgith want to consider that before.
 

FDG

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12? doesn't sound good
19? totally normal

fidelia,you're kind of taking away the magic.
 

Antimony

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Hm, Fidelia, sounds good. It sounds like that does apply to most teenagers I know. However, how about the variations between person to person? What if you DO have a strong idea of who you are, are satisfied, etc.

Some people I know are far more adultlike than many adults I know.
 

BlueFlame

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It just...is.
That's no different than asking if adult sex is good or bad. It's just what we're created to do after a certain age.
The consequences can have more of a negative effect the younger you are, yes, but that's more the product of society pushing the age of independence further and further up.
 

Antimony

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Do you think that negative affects, like regretting it, are kind of like a self fulfilling prophecy, put into place by society?

Kind of like: you are going to regret this.

Teen: I am going to regret this. Why? Because society tells me I will.
 

Randomnity

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I think the "sketchy" limit for me is around 16. Not sure why, I guess 15 and under seem more like children. exceptions, exceptions, blah blah...

I think 18-19 is not much different than early 20s in terms of maturity. There the safety would be more a factor than the age...though in terms of actually having kids as a result, 18 would be a lot more problematic than 24.

fidelia, would you mind linking where you got the info about limiting your birth control pill usage? I'm very interested since there's always so much controversy about those things, and many conflicting opinions even from experts.
 

disregard

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I don't think it's inherently bad. It can be good as far as accumulating life experience goes, but teenagers tend to have poor judgment, so it has generally proved to be a bad thing.
 

kyuuei

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Sex in and of itself is never a bad thing.. I voted bad on this, however, because you're putting adult situations and decisions into teenage territory.

Teenagers jump into things without ever thinking about them.. ... This very situation is tearing my entire family apart, all because a teenager couldn't leave adult decisions until they were adults.

You (I mean the 'talking about people in general' you) have your whole damn life to have sex, why complicate high school more than it already is? Why not wait until you're at least an adult? It's what.. another.. 2.. 3 years of your entire 80 year life span? It's selfish, imo. There are adult consequences that are forced onto teenagers with this subject. And that's why I think it's bad. They're not, 90% of the time, equipped to handle the consequences. .. And I don't think anyone should make decisions without being able to handle the consequences of those decisions in their entirety.
 

teslashock

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Here's some food for thought:

A study shows that when people (men in particular) wait until their early 20's to lose their virginity, they may become more vulnerable to physiological/psychological ailments regarding sex.

Here's an excerpt:

While past research has linked early sexual activity to health problems, a new study suggests that waiting too long to start having sex carries risks of its own.

Those who lose their virginity at a later age -- around 21 to 23 years of age -- tend to be more likely to experience sexual dysfunction problems later, say researchers at Columbia University and the New York State Psychiatric Institute's HIV Center for Clinical and Behavioral Studies

The increase in sexual problems was also seen in those who had a comparably earlier sexual debut. And the researchers were quick to point out that there isn't enough evidence to say for sure whether waiting to have sex necessarily leads to sexual dysfunction down the road.

The researchers, who looked at data from the 1996 National Sexual Health Survey, conducted by the Center for AIDS Prevention Studies (CAPS) at the University of California, San Francisco, also found that men and women who begin having sex in their early teens had their share of problems. They were more likely to have risky sexual partners, to contract a sexually transmitted infection (STI) and to have sex while under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

While sexuality experts not affiliated with the study agree that it is too early to draw a direct causal link about those who have sex later in life, they say the research offers some interesting new avenues for learning more about certain sexual problems that may be devastating to long-term relationships.

"One of the many dysfunctions that arises is that women never develop the ability to ask for what they want, which leaves them open for life-long disappointment, desire disorders, orgasmic dysfunction, and worse -- they're ripe for abuse and violence," she said.

For men, the opposite message -- that "real men score" -- may lead to negative mindsets both among those who lose their virginity early and those who become sexually active only later -- mindsets that impact their ability to perform sexually.

Because of the intimate link between the psyche and sexual performance, some sexuality experts say the results of these conditions most likely bring about sexual dysfunction through their psychological impacts.

The research is obviously not too conclusive, but it suggests some interesting parallels between the age at which we start having sex and our sexual health (on both ends of the spectrum, young and old). If you look closely at the article, you could discern that late teens is the best/ healthiest age to start doing it (acting under the premises laid out and loosely suggested in the research, that is).

10 bucks says this thread will be moved to the Sexuality and Mature Topics section in due time. There's no way we can keep this discussion clean.
 

heart

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While past research has linked early sexual activity to health problems, a new study suggests that waiting too long to start having sex carries risks of its own.

Those who lose their virginity at a later age -- around 21 to 23 years of age -- tend to be more likely to experience sexual dysfunction problems later, say researchers at Columbia University and the New York State Psychiatric Institute's HIV Center for Clinical and Behavioral Studies

With studies like this, my question is always which came first? Was there a predisposition to feel more able to wait (like maybe lower sex desire) and the underlying causes of this are what truly lead to the sex problems later in life? Or was it the actual fact of waiting too long to have sex?
 

teslashock

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With studies like this, my question is always which came first? Was there a predisposition to feel more able to wait (like maybe lower sex desire) and the underlying causes of this are what truly lead to the sex problems later in life? Or was it the actual fact of waiting too long to have sex?

Yeah the article mentions that they are not specifically making any claims about the causal relationship between age of "sexual debut" (as they term it) and sexual health later in life. Ya know, that whole correlation doesn't imply causation rule, yadda, yadda. Just thought it would be interesting to ponder.
 

heart

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-
- Birth control pills do have a very significant number of negative health side effects, in addition to messing with who you find attractive! They also aren't recommended for women to be on for most of their reproductive years (so if you start now, you are using up time you could take them later). They are ineffective if not taken consistently at the same time or if taken with antibiotics. Other forms of birth control aren't nearly as reliable as you'd like them to be if it's important not to get pregnant. Many adults can't even take care of this part of their sex life responsibly.



It's a commonly held myth that women must take breaks from birth control pills. All the information I ever read says that the pill can be taken continuously, even by women over forty as long as they are non-smokers.

Myths About the Combination Pill from American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.

it's about halfway down the page, a blue box lists all the common myths about BCP.

If you smoke or have certain medical conditions, then yes, the pill is probably not the best choice for you. But for nonsmokers the facts do not support many of the myths.

I personally would think BCP is a very good choice for older teens who are absolutely set on being sexually active because it is so effective. I was on the pill for nearly two decades and I never had a problem from it. You just keep it where ever you do your morning or evening routine and it becomes second nature. Anyone with enough discipline to drive a car safely should be able to remember to take a pill once a day.
 

Lux

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Honestly a teenagers brain is different from an adult brain. They don't function in the same manner. Teenagers use the limbic system in their brain for making decisions, while adults use their prefrontal cortex, which is the seat of emotion and decision making. It helps by being the "control center" of decisions, by utilizing different areas of the brain and having them work together to come to the best conclusion/decision. The teenage brain and the adult brain are different. Period.

Sex is something that can be great, and it can have great consequences. It would seem to me that waiting would be better because if you're making decisions based on immediate gratification, they may not be the best decisions, and they're ones you cannot take back.

Now I'm not even talking about virginity. If that's your thing, that's fine. I'm more talking about the fact that you may, and most people do, maybe more women, look back and regret who they've slept with. I've heard it a million times. Particularly the first person they've slept with. It is sad to me how many women I know that are in that boat.

Good luck. :)
 

ChildoftheProphets

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Honestly a teenagers brain is different from an adult brain. They don't function in the same manner. Teenagers use the limbic system in their brain for making decisions, while adults use their prefrontal cortex, which is the seat of emotion and decision making. It helps by being the "control center" of decisions, by utilizing different areas of the brain and having them work together to come to the best conclusion/decision. The teenage brain and the adult brain are different. Period.

Sex is something that can be great, and it can have great consequences. It would seem to me that waiting would be better because if you're making decisions based on immediate gratification, they may not be the best decisions, and they're ones you cannot take back.

Hmm, I recall it being the other way around--teenagers each use their prefrontal cortex (which isn't completely wired yet), while adults use more of the emotional parts of their brains which allow their extensive past experience to influence the decision-making process.

Also, although Western teenagers tend to go through very stormy, immature years between childhood and adulthood, teenagers in many other cultures display less depressive, addictive, and reckless behavior.

Locking up a bunch of horny kids with others their own age for over 6 hours a day when the ratio between them and their adult supervisors is 30 to 1, doesn't seem like a very good way to impart social and emotional maturity. This is a failure of modern, Western education that is usually overlooked.
 

Feops

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I don't think it's good or bad. Biologically people are ready when they're ready. Socialogically it depends on the person and it's hard to determine, nevermind moderate.

I'm more of the mind to let those things run their own course and to stress education as to avoid stupid decisions. Society is generally not suited to handle teenage pregancies and STDs are avoidable.
 

Fidelia

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Yeah Antimony, I have given some thought to the variation in maturity levels. Certainly there are some teenagers out there who are much more grown up than adults. On the other hand:

1) What are the chances that their partner also is that mature? (boys notoriously mature more slowly and if you are limited to the guys in your community, you might just be hooped)

2) In retrospect, although I had many things I was good at, was well liked in highschool, came from a secure home situation and was pretty confident, I not only changed a lot, but became much more confident over the next few years. There were some situations at that time which I hadn't had the opportunity to "script" myself with what I could/would say to handle awkward situations and in some cases I walked into situations that could potentially have turned out badly (but which I figured would be fine or just went into because I wasn't sure of how to get out of easily). I realize you are quite a different type than me, but ended up being glad that I did put off that part of life at that point in time.

3) One of the reasons I don't think it's a great idea is that most of the women I know regret who their first partner was or the circumstances under which they first had sex. I realize there are some who don't feel that way, but a lot more do.

4) You're the one in the best condition to look out for your own emotional/physical best interests. You teach people how to treat you and when you look out for your own safety and well-being, others tend to follow suit. I don't really think it's a self-fulfilling thing re having sex early as I've lived in a culture where sex at 12 or 13 is the norm (and there is no stigma attached to promiscuity or discouragement of teenaged sex/pregnancy. The women I met had many of the same feelings as those in the culture I grew up in).

Re BCP hormones - I have run into a wide variety of literature as well as GP opinions (my old roommate was a doctor and we have a number of friends who are in the medical profession - either as doctors or nurses) whom I've discussed it with. If you would like links to literature, I can hunt them up.

Quite aside from health, BC pills can play havoc with your emotions until they find the combination of strengths of each hormone that is appropriate for you personally. Different brands and varieties all will affect you differently.

Long term research (over more than one generation) is not present about the effects of artificial hormones on our bodies yet.
 

heart

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Re BCP hormones - I have run into a wide variety of literature as well as GP opinions (my old roommate was a doctor and we have a number of friends who are in the medical profession - either as doctors or nurses) whom I've discussed it with. If you would like links to literature, I can hunt them up.

Quite aside from health, BC pills can play havoc with your emotions until they find the combination of strengths of each hormone that is appropriate for you personally. Different brands and varieties all will affect you differently.

Long term research (over more than one generation) is not present about the effects of artificial hormones on our bodies yet.

It's true that many individual doctors have their own opinions but the general consensus of the OBGYN community seems to be an overwhelming "you don't need to take a break from the BCP."

I never had a doctor tell me I needed to take a break from them. I have never seen an authoriative source say one needed to take a break from them. But yes, alternative medicine is going to have a different take on it.

The best person for anyone to ask about this is of course their own OBGYN.
 
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