"Darn it, the worms are back.
"
Worms? I hate worms! Worms make me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a rubber room. I died there. Then the worms came... Worms? I hate worms! Worms make me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a rubber room. I died there. Then the worms came... Worms? I hate worms! Worms make me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a rubber room. I died there. Then the worms came... Worms? I hate worms! Worms make me crazy! As if yeu hadn't noticed by now ^.~
For personal things though... I've seen alot. Good and bad.
For purely supernatural occurances, like one night when much younger, I'd woken out of bed, and saw some being pretty much purely made of light, couldn't see them because they were too bright. I doubt it's a dream and I've never had any cases of hallucinating, so I doubt it was that either, but there's alot of explainations that could've covered it. Was it an angel? Probably not since it filled me with fear rather than peace. So no clue whot it was, possibly nothing at all but my imagination, but it's hard to explain such away.
Another case which involved some horrible beast looking thing in my room but I've no clue whot it was, but the detail on it at the time was far too intricate and detailed for me to buy my parent's insistance that it was just an afterimage from looking to the side quickly. Never did buy that explaination, never well. Could've been a number of other things but not sure.
One place I lived actually had a staircase I LOATHED though... constantly it felt like someone was comming down the stairs, always being watched from the stairs, no matter whot it was unnerving. It was distracting and difficult to even watch tv, because I'd have to watch the staircase as well. At one point in that house, I slept in a sleeping bag on my floor for some reason, I'm not sure why I did it, but at that time I heard something come up the stairs, it sounded like an animal of some kind, the feet on the carpet, and breathing were very low to the ground, kept my head buried under the sleeping bag but could hear it's breath right next to my head. It didn't sound all that friendly but I'm not sure whot it was. Once again, no proof of it being anything, but it's haunted me for a long time.
Less tangible experiences also can occur though, like how... interesting my life is at times. I have to jump through ridiculous numbers of hoops to get anything I truly desire; like when I first bought WoW, I got it THE DAY IT WAS RELEASED. I was able to actually first log on about 4 months later -_-; I couldn't get a credit card and prepaid credit cards weren't available here yet, and neither were the prepaid game cards, blizzard didn't accept money orders mailed, I tried even driving down to a city to get a prepaid card... my car broke down halfway there. I had almost resorted to getting someone to buy one for me and I'd pay them off, but their store ran out of prepaid cards too. Eventually I took a BUS to get there rather than risk my car again.
Same thing just happened again... setting up for going to college within the next week or two, everything that CAN go wrong, already has. And then some things that couldn't possibly have gone wrong (car breaking down again? Come off it! This's getting to be a bad running joke >.< ).
Essentially, I've learned that anything I want I am going to have to work unnaturally hard for because apparantly SOMETHING just really really hates me. And I don't mean like "that was blind luck", I mean consistant, regular, anticipated and proven fact time and time again every single time without error or deviance, I am always the exception to the rule. I don't think I've even installed a single video game in the last 10 years which has worked right out of the box without some major flaw that drove me crazy for hours or weeks on end.
Yet... the reverse is also true; if I spend ALL my monies, and give away the last bit I have... there's always more. If I give $20 to someone who needed it when it was my last $20 I had, guaranteed 100% chance within the next week I'll find $20 laying under a couch cushion, or a cheque I'd not even known about will just appear or be found, things like this... if I need monies, I'll be given such without question if I spent the last of it on someone else.
I don't know why, or if there's an intelligence at work, or if it's just some clockwork scheme of things. We can't understand nor grasp the concept of the scope of these things... but these are religious experiences.
The thing with me though, is I'm not willing to take every shred of evidence presented as being proof of my pre-conceived notion either. If I were a buddist, I'd be thinking karma and attribute it to that religion. Were I christian, I'd attribute it to satan/god. Were I an atheist, I'd attribute it to blind luck. This's obviously past blind luck though, so I do believe that something's having an influence on things beyond my capacity to understand, but there's no information on WHOT that something is. Is it bizzare rules of gameplay in the game of life? A computer program? God? Some other religion? Maybe the universe is just like a massive clockwork machine and has pre-set rules for when yeu do something, whot will happen in return? There's no evidence for WHICH is right... I can't attribute my experiences to any one cause.
Just because there's evidence of something beyond my understanding, doesn't mean it's automatically 100% guaranteed that it's also evidence of god. Hardly the case at all really. It just tells me there's SOMETHING there. I don't know whot it is, and I don't know how to describe it, or to whot extent it holds true. But I can't say "this's why I'm a _______ insert religion here" because there's nothing to state that it WAS god or allah or YHVH or whotever.
In the end, I have no clue whot the truth is, all I can do is keep searching for some direction as to whot all this crap means. I consider myself religious, but definately not blindly religious. I can't just accept "god" because that's whot people generally attribute this stuff to. There's no proof that it is god's doing, or that anything that people believe is anything more than myth and false associations.
But there are things beyond sciences' current capacity to explain, they may or may not be supernatural in nature. We flat out don't know right now. Currently, with the information provided to me, and my own personal experiences, I'd state that something exists on a supernatural level. I just don't know whot.
Maybe someday I'll find out, maybe I won't. I suppose it doesn't matter right now does it? I think the main thing is to keep one's mind open to possibilities and try to evaluate each rationally with evidence presented. And keep in mind the quote "It only makes sense that truth is stranger than fiction; after all, fiction has to stick to possibilities."
