LOVE AND THEOLOGICAL FATALISM

[LIND]

One of the most puzzling "mind-bending" questions that I often hear:
""DID YOU pray to God for the girl/guy that u r interested in as a future potential marriage partner to see if it's God's will for your life that you choose that person?"

In asking this, the person is actually endorsing the view that
A. God serves as a being akin to CUPID
B. It is inevitable/necessary that one's future potential marriage partner is a priori known (God knew before you got married whom your partner was) by God.

If B stands, then we can simply infer that free will is an illusion. More clearly put why make the effort in investing so much in a particular individual if in the end God will direct your choice towards another individual? Yet if this latter question stands we have an additional problem! Namely, Why would God intervene in the love affairs of human beings? In Genesis we are told that God entrusted man with the decision making when it comes to his environment. If so, then God allows humans to make their choice. It is based on that choice that God as the perfect logical Being that he is, infers how your life will look like.
SImply put:
If you have 3 options (3 individuals) that you are considering in marrying, God makes the following analysis:
If you choose option 1, God assesses the personality and the conduct of life of 1 and also your own personality and your own conduct of life-
- based on that simple analysis (or complex to us) God can infer/foretell what your life will look like.
For example-LET'S suppose I Marius have 3 options-3 girls that I look at,each of them who can potentially be my future partner :
Let's say I-Marius chose a girl to marry-namely option2; God could say based on His analysis, " Marius had u chosen option 1, you would have been much happier than you are now with option 2. The gains of having chosen option 1 are lesser than the gains of option2. So the choice is up to you to make, but the gains could be greater in one option rather than another. Each of the three choices must possess some gains and also loses, but each option differs in the amounts of those gains and loses. Which one should you choose? That my friend is where you need contemplation and prayer . Why prayer? God will NOT manipulate your emotions, but He will certainly allow you to discover so many more things about your own self then the ones you can immediately access and as a result once u get to know yourself better, your eyes are more opened to whether a certain partner is more advantageous to pick over another-or whether a certain partner fits you better...
Marius Manci

 

[murkrow]

It's not a decision that's been made after long consideration, praying for guidance.

It's a plea for some confidence by tapping an outside source that is ultimately private.

What you're suggesting prayer be used as is almost meditation. Prayer is externalized, directed to on high, not introversive.

 

[luminous beam]

you remind me of hegel's pseudo intellectual writing...

ps: that is not a compliment.

 

[LIND]

Re: MurkRow

I concur with you, yet what becomes very hard for me to grasp, is reconciling the view that prayer is externalized with God is in us. If God is in my heart, which direction should my prayer take?

 

[murkrow]

If you're expecting a response then why not pray to another human being. God is as much in their heart as in yours.

 

[Totenkindly]

I'm going to avoid an attempt to describe why some believers might have proposed this sort of approach or the free-will ramifications and just describe a sensible process:

Sure, feel free to ask God to help you find a good mate and guide you in making sure you act wisely and think big-picture in regards to your choices... as well as make your choice not for selfish reasons. Even if you are not communicating with deity (you have to decide that for yourself), at the very least you are setting up a good attitude on how to approach a marriage partner.

Accept that you will never know what roads you did NOT take, you will only know the road you DID. So after you make your choice, that is now reality; the rest is fantasy. Your goal after you marry -- whether it was the best, worst, right, or wrong person -- is still to do your best to make it work. This is not just for the relationship itself but because if you flee the marriage, whatever unresolved mistakes you made there will carry through to your next relationship. There are so many reasons to do your best to make things work and develop as a person within that marriage.

At this stage, regardless of who you pick, the religious belief is that "God is in the middle of it," just like God might not prevent tragedy but is still present within it ... communion with the divine... and so you can feel assured (if that is your belief) that you are not alone and that regardless you will have divine comfort and assistance to move forward and make things work. At least, that must be the mindset in order to be most successful.

If you're going to hold a religious belief about this, I do think it's far more productive not to look at it as "God has to give you an explicit answer and you have to make the right choice" but as "You make the choice based on what God has taught you and who you have become, and God honors it and you commit to that choice wholeheartedly and make it work as best as you can."

 

[Feops]

u r

The hell is that.

One of the most puzzling "mind-bending" questions that I often hear:
""DID YOU pray to God for the girl/guy that u r interested in as a future potential marriage partner to see if it's God's will for your life that you choose that person?"

The question is irrational. Otherwise this is just a variant on the "how can free will exist if a being has perfect and infinite knowledge?" debate.